When patients and visitors are rude

[brownbook]

I feel sorry for nurses who post (I know they are just venting) how obnoxious, demanding, ridiculous, rude, patients and family are, or will become, because hospital reimbursements (medicare) are tied into patient satisfaction. Or even somehow the ACA is going to cause patients to be more demanding.

I have worked bedside nursing in county and private hospitals for 30 years. I can't believe I am just lucky and never encounter patients or family who are so inappropriate?

When I do encounter them (yes I guess I have) I go into automatic pilot, I don't even consciously think about it, I had to Google "how to react to rude people" to realize what I guess I do without thinking. (I wish I could go into automatic pilot in codes....I freeze up and can't think at all!)

"Don't give their behavior more thought,"...... must obviously be my first reaction because I immediately forget (except for really rare occasions) what they said or did....."their behavior is out of character for them"...."they are not trying to hurt you personally, they do not care about your feelings"..."they have their own issues." (We are talking health care here...maybe they have some serious issues and concerns you don't even know about.) "Do not engage them......you don't have to prove yourself."

Really, honestly nurses, they are not out to get you! Validation of their feelings is almost 90% of the time all they want, even if you really don't agree with what they are complaining about, they believe it so just say...."yes I can see why that upsets you...I understand why you are so angry....that must really make you mad..."

If it gets to the point of fearing for your physical safety your institution is mandated to have in place a "code" to call for help with violent patients or family. Yes, I know it can get to this point...I have seen it.

Honestly if you find yourself frequently encountering rude demanding patients and family maybe it is time to think about what attitude you are giving them that they react this way?

If you can think of nothing else think "raise them to my level, don't lower myself to their level."

[Chisca, RN]

I like reminding verbally agressive patients that Tennessee recently changed the law for assault on healthcare workers, this after a patient broke a nurse's jaw in the ER. It is the same penalty as assaulting a police officer. IT'S A FELONY.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

Wow. Thanks for the perspective. I'll be sure to leave my humanity/self worth at home.

Also, why is it that you don't respect other professionals who set boundaries, but you said a sentence later that you yourself set boundaries to guide expectations of patient-professional interactions?

For the record, I have no respect for "professionals" who believe that because patients might be afraid or angry about a diagnosis that it is the nurse/CNA/food service/physical therapist/doctor/name-your-professional's place to take abuse of any sort.

I believe you misread my post? because we just said the same thing

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

Since you didn't use the quote function, I have no idea which post or poster you're responding to. Perhaps that's part of the reason that this post makes me so angry. Another is that it's right up front there about being ageist.

ruby , I don't think that is ageism to acknowledge that different generations have different expectations . my response was to the original poster. I do think that the expectations are different for different generations because of the training we received. i am certainly not a spring chicken, but i do see our nurses with 30-40 + years experience being abused by patients more often because they tolerate it and don't nip it in the bud.

[SaoirseRN]

ruby I don't think that is ageism to acknowledge that different generations have different expectations . my response was to the original poster. I do think that the expectations are different for different generations because of the training we received. i am certainly not a spring chicken, but i do see our nurses with 30-40 + years experience being abused by patients more often because they tolerate it and don't nip it in the bud.[/quote']

I actually see it more the opposite. I happen to be someone who does set boundaries, but during my training there wasn't a lot of discussion on the subject (aside from sexual harassment type scenarios). I graduated in 2006 and since have seen more newer nurses having trouble setting boundaries than older nurses.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

I actually see it more the opposite. I happen to be someone who does set boundaries, but during my training there wasn't a lot of discussion on the subject (aside from sexual harassment type scenarios). I graduated in 2006 and since have seen more newer nurses having trouble setting boundaries than older nurses.

well new nurses are new... their just figuring their gig out. I expect that :) but a couple years in most of my co-workers can handle the most difficult of patients. it's our nicest nurses that sometimes end up on the fired list because they bend over backwards to try and meet their unfair expectations and the anger escalates.

[SaoirseRN]

well new nurses are new... their just figuring their gig out. I expect that :) but a couple years in most of my co-workers can handle the most difficult of patients. it's our nicest nurses that sometimes end up on the fired list because they bend over backwards to try and meet their unfair expectations and the anger escalates.

I said newer, not new. There are examples from every generation but I think eventually those who are going to set boundaries will and those who won't, won't. What I am saying is that I don't see it being particularly problematic for "experienced" nurses as you have said. I see more newer nurses struggling because I don't think this is something they have been taught.