Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - Page 249

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  1. Jun 14, '12 by
    Quote from soapaddictOH
    To the patient who has been in the ER weekly for "overdosing" on pills.... next time don't call a squad.

    To the patient who is drug seeking and lying about it... "Oh you were here 3 days ago and got a prescription for Vicodin from one of the other ER docs? Guess what!!! We can look up your record online, it's called an OARRS report!"

    "No, it's not a Teckmus shot. You aren't allergic to Sulfur. The medicine that starts with 'D...di...de...' is called Dilaudid. I'm making damn sure the doctor doesn't order it for your toothache you have had for 2 months."

    I'm pretending like Sodium Chloride is a new wonder drug, and I'm calling it Nackle and giving it to you as a big bolus while I tell you that it's stronger than Dilaudid.
    OMG; not "nackle"....lol. Where I work we call it "saleenie"...lol.
    AngelfireRN likes this.
  2. Jun 15, '12 by
    Quote from soapaddictOH
    I'm pretending like Sodium Chloride is a new wonder drug, and I'm calling it Nackle and giving it to you as a big bolus while I tell you that it's stronger than Dilaudid.
    An agency nurse at work told me she really does this!!! She's like, "What? I'm not lying, it's NaCl, and it's on the MAR as a medication, and it works!" lmao
    whichone'spink, Simba&NalasMom, and AngelfireRN like this.
  3. Jun 16, '12 by
    Haha! Yea, I had a patient who kept requesting Morphine even though she had already had a ton of it. So everytime I flushed her IV, she for some reason thought I was giving her morphine! I never told her it was morphine, and she never asked! But that 'morphine' she got sure worked wonders! lol!!
    whichone'spink and AngelfireRN like this.
  4. Jun 16, '12 by
    OK, I'll confess, I've done that, too. This one guy, who had had so many IV's by the time I ever walked in that he looked like a pincushion (Phenergan will do a NUMBER on veins), muat have been sitting on his call light. It was that constant.

    Finally, I noticed that, the more saline I flushed with, the longer the interval between tunings-up. So, I walked in with a whole 10cc syringe full and told him that he could not tell anyone I gave him that much, I'd get in trouble. Not a peep the rest of teh night. Slept like a rock. NM was aware and supportive, and the MD wrote it as an order the next morning 'titrate NaCl to comfort'.

    Not the most ethical of practices, but I was a new nurse then, too.
    rammstein, uRNmyway, teeniebert, and 7 others like this.
  5. Jun 16, '12 by
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    'titrate NaCl to comfort'.
    I love this so much....
    Szasz_is_Right, Aurora77, whichone'spink, and 4 others like this.
  6. Jun 18, '12 by
    Oh, if only placebos were still allowed in certain cases. If I were to do that as a new nurse, my ass would be canned faster than I could say "But..."
  7. Jun 27, '12 by
    "Sir, this is not a game show, this is your son. Yes, I realize divorce must suck. Yes, I'm sure your ex-wife DOES make Mephisto bear a striking resemblance to the archangel Gabriel. No, I'm not going to play 20-questions about your son's condition."


    To the man who brought his son in, after the mother had taken him to the pedi 5 hours earlier, and refused to tell our nurse the diagnosis, saying, "I'm not going to tell you. I want to see if y'all say the same thing he did."
    wooh likes this.
  8. Guide
    Jun 27, '12 by
    Quote from whichone'spink
    oh, if only placebos were still allowed in certain cases. if i were to do that as a new nurse, my ass would be canned faster than i could say "but..."

    my husband's great uncle was in assisted living and got very upset when he couldn't have his beloved liquid dimetapp as often as he thought he needed
    it, which was often every hour or so.

    finally, his pcp said to give him grape juice every time he asked for his beloved dimetapp. it was done with the family's blessing and permission because they
    had tried unsuccessfully to wean him off it for years. he never questioned that
    it was thinner. the family provided the juice and it was ordered as a "nutritional
    supplement" and all was well again.
    rammstein, Szasz_is_Right, and wooh like this.
  9. Jun 27, '12 by
    No Dawn dishwashing soap will not kill fleas on your pet. It just gets them wet and clean. It does wash the weak ones down the drain but the strong ones hang on and survive. <Actually I did say this>

    How can you call yourself a nurse when you have no idea what an IV catheter is?

    Feeding your overweight diabetic schnauzer kibble's and bits is a bad idea.

    Why are you spending big bucks on an ingredient restricted diet and then feeding your dog beggin strips?

    No it is not okay to keep your dog in your black car in the 90F+ heat. We hate trying to revive DIC (Dead in Car) cases from DIC(Disseminated intravascular coagulation) and heat stroke. Bring your dog inside.

    Shoot that child.

    Yes dogs do break when they jump or get thrown from truck beds. Yes that surgery to repair the open femoral fracture is going to cost you some big bucks. You are really #### stupid for putting your dog back into the truck bed after paying $2500 to have the leg plated.

    Fuzzy
    AngelfireRN likes this.
  10. Jun 28, '12 by
    You don't know how happy I was to get to work last night and find out you'd been discharged. Thanks for leaving!
    Szasz_is_Right, DeLanaHarvickWannabe, carrie_c, and 3 others like this.