Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 245

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

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    That's the best one yet!

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    Something I wanna tell half my unit- Listen if you turn on this call light one. More. Time. I'll happily shove this call light where the sun don't shine. Have mercy on us and let me find the stuff you want!

    And to the 700 pound man- You're acting like this over a package of saltines. Really. Really! Trust me you're not going to starve anytime soon. Just shut up and eat your snack without 2 small crackers.
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    Preface this by saying I work in psych...

    No really, you do not scare me. I grew up on a farm with tons of guys a heck of a lot bigger then you and held my own against them. Do not make me go all country on your butt.
    maelstrom143 and AngelfireRN like this.
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    Look you just got done puking blood up, something tells me we are NOT giving you any narcs until the doctor calls back. Oh, this is a norm for you. Glad to hear that, nope still ain't giving you narcs! And can I add you are freaking STUPID if you think I will.

    And on the same subject to a co-worker. Hey if you can get the doctor to call back, have at it. I left messages and have checked on the guy every couple of mins. I told the supervisor so we're stuck waiting. If YOU can get a call back I will LOVE you!
    maelstrom143 likes this.
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    Quote from Lorbun
    I ca give you this med through your IV or if you insist on irritating me every 10 minutes I will give it with this huge needle in your butt - your choice
    You know, I have suggested this to docs as a deterrent to the seekers-just order the meds IM-but I haven't been able to talk any of them into it yet. It would sure cut down on the q2h, 2mg, IV dilaudid for a week straight. I can't think of a medical condition in the world that honestly needs that much freakin' pain medication. Unless you are intubated or on hospice, all we're doing is perpetuating a dependence, if not an addiction. Then these people come back to the hospital 24 hours later shaky, diaphoretic, MSC, saying their percocet isn't working. You think?
    Szasz_is_Right, Lovely_RN, rntj, and 1 other like this.
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    So you had to have a c section because your elective induction of labor failed to progress? Of course you did. If you would have waited until the baby was ready to come out, and that would be 40 weeks, not 37 weeks, you wouldn't have had to be cut. Yes of course you are supposed to have vaginal bleeding after having a baby. Where do you people come from?
    maelstrom143, rubato, Lovely_RN, and 3 others like this.
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    "No, I am not going to push your Dilaudid "fast" because you "like the way it feels;" In fact, now I am going to push it way, way slower than I would have"

    "No I will not call the doctor at 3 a.m for a suppository because you haven't had a BM in 2 days. The doctor is busy keeping people alive and handling emergencies, you can handle not taking a s&^ for 5 more hours."

    To the CIWA patients who just want to be dead to the world so they don't have to go through withdrawals: "I understand how you want to avoid the horror of withdrawal by being completely unconscious and unarousable, but if I give you 4 mg of Ativan every hour or two you are going to stop breathing. I have already given you 8 mg in 3 hours and you had 16 mg in the ED and I'm not giving you any more until the doctor comes to see you to assess you and your treatment plan. Sorry, but I am not in the business of purposefully killing people know matter how badly they want to be dead to the world."

    I could go on and on but pretty much everything I want to say somebody has already posted!
    opossum and AngelfireRN like this.
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    You are in preterm labor on bedrest. No, I will not take you outside to go smoke. No, I will not call the doctor to get you an order to do so. No, you cannot come with me while I go check on my other patients. No, you cannot go into the nursery and hold the babies. No, your baby will not be in the room with you when she is born, as she will be in NICU. No, they cannot let her stay in the room with you for 'just one night, then take her over there'. No, you cannot have a set of hospital scrubs because you don't like wearing gowns.

    Pretty much, any question you have tonight, the answer is NO.
    maelstrom143, teeniebert, Lovely_RN, and 2 others like this.
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    Good night! Who did she think she was? And what was her IQ?
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    Tell them and their family were to go and what to do when they get there.
    AngelfireRN likes this.

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