Thank You Notes to Patients?

Nurses Relations

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  1. Do you write personal thank you notes to your patients?

    • 22
      Yes
    • 80
      No
    • 3
      Sometimes

78 members have participated

Hey y'all!

Do any of you hand write thank you notes? If you do, what do you say? My facility sends pre-printed notes that all of us sign, but for the last month or so I've started sending a relatively generic hand-written note to all of my patients who are discharged home... I work on an oncology unit, so many of our families receive sympathy cards instead. With that said, what is or is not appropriate to say in a thank you note?

Here's what I typically say in my thank you notes:

"I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed being your nurse during your stay on 12 East. You were a great patient and I'm so happy you're feeling better.

I hope you keep getting stronger every day!"

Lots of times I personalize the note with something I've learned about the patient or their family... and if I truly did not enjoy being their nurse or if they were NOT a very good patient (rude/demanding) I leave those parts out or replace them with something different.

What do you think?? I always use hospital stationary and never take patient info away from the hospital, so no HIPAA violations.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I love all the feedback... this is not required (or even encouraged) by my facility. I really feel like my Onc patients are different than other med/surg patients and they are (mostly) truly grateful for us as their nurses. I receive thank you notes from patients all the time and I want to sort of return the compliment. Not to mention we see a lot of these same patients 5-6 times a year and may stay for a month or more, so I want to build a fairly strong relationship with them.

I don't want this to turn into a big customer service/patient satisfaction score thing... I really just wanted to know if other nurses write notes and to get some ideas of sweet things they may say.

I'm an oncology nurse, and I've worked in plenty of other areas as well. I don't really see onc. patients as any different than others; med-surg has more than its share of chronic/repeater patients.

I agree with the others so far. My thank you is in relieving their pain, their fear. It's in knowing how to give them the medication that will beat back the cancer cells invading their bodies, and knowing when they're having side-effects from the treatment that are as dangerous as the cancer. It's in comforting the families when they feel they can't go on. That is my thank you.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
If I may....I understand your desire to connect with your patients and let them know they are in your thoughts. However, the "extreme" scenarios posted here have probably occurred in real life many times. Several of the responses I have read here are from nurses with many years of experience and as a fairly new nurse, you may not yet realize that over your career you will see patients and family members respond in ways to innocent incidents and gestures that boggle the mind. We truly are looking out for you, because our experience allows us to see further down the road. :)

This is what troubles me. I know this thread didn't start out as a request for advice, but it has turned into one. Over the years I have seen many threads from new nurses who were given excellent, patient advice from numerous experienced nurses, only to see that counsel tossed aside with an "I'm still doing it my way" attitude. It's frustrating to see people make decisions that could land them in a heap of trouble when it could have been avoided.

Maybe nothing will happen...for now. But some day, and I can guarantee it will happen, one of those cards is going to go to the wrong person, and then you may find yourself the odd man out. Then you're going to find out just how fast administration will say that your "nice idea" was unsanctioned.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Point taken.

I wanted to know who wrote them. Now I know few do. Mission accomplished.

I wanted to know what nurses who wrote them thought would be appropriate to say. Mission accomplished.

Lots of you have made it clear that you feel sending a cheerful note to dying patients is unethical because they are no longer in my care. Lots if you say its a bad idea & don't want me to do it any more. Another mission accomplished.

I think you're being a tad melodramatic here. FWIW, you didn't even mention they were terminal in your OP.

Who are you sending these cards for, your patients or yourself? Based on the way you're responding, it seems the cards are more important to you.

I'm sorry you seem to be assuming that so many people only have your best interests at heart.

Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
. It's frustrating to see people make decisions that could land them in a heap of trouble when it could have been avoided.

.

Let's forget about potential trouble for the OP for a moment and instead focus on the patients who could potentially be harmed ("bothered" or "upset') It isn't even about the OP-it's the patient's well being.I suspect the OP is putting herself and whatever she'll get back from her actions before any possible benefit to the patients. That's a pretty common newbie mistake.As others have said we have all seen some pretty extreme circumstances and the "what if's" are usually based in reality. I know several folks who have kept serious dx from friends and family,I can just imagine my sister bringing in my mail while I am lying on the sofa trying to pretend that I've just had some routine procedure because I just don't have the strength to "go there" right now . I can hear her now-" Who is this letter from?Is it junk mail? Why are you acting so weird?" A family member in our LTC does not speak to another and claims that one of us gave this other person info-none of us on the floor did so because we didn't even know the facts SO we would have been unable to reveal them,I suspect the family member saw a letter from the facility in someone's home and read it...it can happen.But we were all called on the carpet for it....
I'm an oncology nurse, and I've worked in plenty of other areas as well. I don't really see onc. patients as any different than others; med-surg has more than its share of chronic/repeater patients.

I agree with the others so far. My thank you is in relieving their pain, their fear. It's in knowing how to give them the medication that will beat back the cancer cells invading their bodies, and knowing when they're having side-effects from the treatment that are as dangerous as the cancer. It's in comforting the families when they feel they can't go on. That is my thank you.

Onc is a bit of a different beast from med-surg; I know about med-surg repeaters, but these people - and the relationships that develop - are different. Our patients endure multiple hospitalizations that can last literally months (if they're transplant especially). I've had patients check in for transplant that we've known for two years through two cycles of inpatient chemotx, plus multiple readmits for complications and sometimes 'routine' or opportunistic illness, and then they die five months later on the unit, having never left since transplant admission.

I'd liken it to CFers or CHFers, but not med-surg as a whole. And those folks probably qualify more as specialty patients in most facilities (and I know not all, but many) and may not spend most of their time in m/s.

It's a bit​ different.

Specializes in Oncology, Palliative Care.

I think you're being a tad melodramatic here. FWIW, you didn't even mention they were terminal in your OP.

Who are you sending these cards for, your patients or yourself? Based on the way you're responding, it seems the cards are more important to you.

I'm sorry you seem to be assuming that so many people only have your best interests at heart.

They were important to me because I felt my patients would enjoy them, whether they were considered 'terminal' at the time or not. I get at least a couple of sincere thank you notes, phone calls, & treats from patients & families every week, so it would have been kinda silly to take time during my day to do this for myself.

No worries though... I'm not sending these card at all anymore, as the post you quoted explains. I'm choosing to be cautious based on the advice I've received from posters who's opinions I respect.

Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
They were important to me because I felt my patients would enjoy them, whether they were considered 'terminal' at the time or not. I get at least a couple of sincere thank you notes, phone calls, & treats from patients & families every week, so it would have been kinda silly to take time during my day to do this for myself.

No worries though... I'm not sending these card at all anymore, as the post you quoted explains. I'm choosing to be cautious based on the advice I've received from posters who's opinions I respect.

Congratulations to you for the feedback you receive so frequently from your patients and their families......Ditto for acccepting the advice given on this thread-maturity means having the ability to admit you might be wrong.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Onc is a bit of a different beast from med-surg; I know about med-surg repeaters, but these people - and the relationships that develop - are different. Our patients endure multiple hospitalizations that can last literally months (if they're transplant especially). I've had patients check in for transplant that we've known for two years through two cycles of inpatient chemotx, plus multiple readmits for complications and sometimes 'routine' or opportunistic illness, and then they die five months later on the unit, having never left since transplant admission.

I'd liken it to CFers or CHFers, but not med-surg as a whole. And those folks probably qualify more as specialty patients in most facilities (and I know not all, but many) and may not spend most of their time in m/s.

It's a bit​ different.

If you notice in my specialty, I am an oncology nurse. I also happen to be an oncology patient, so I think I understand how you can build a relationship with staff.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
They were important to me because I felt my patients would enjoy them, whether they were considered 'terminal' at the time or not. I get at least a couple of sincere thank you notes, phone calls, & treats from patients & families every week, so it would have been kinda silly to take time during my day to do this for myself.

No worries though... I'm not sending these card at all anymore, as the post you quoted explains. I'm choosing to be cautious based on the advice I've received from posters who's opinions I respect.

It sounds like you're a good nurse, and I'm glad you've decided to keep an open mind and reconsider the input from posters you respect. It's that sort of circumspect thinking that will serve you well throughout your career.

Funny thing, I didn't ever thank them... Calling it a "thank you" note was a TERRIBLE choice of words on my part...I casually referred to them as thank you notes. Not smart on my part, I realize. :down: Really they were just "thinking of you" notes. In fact, they are the exact same cards I get from the office/nursing staff and doctor every time I go to the hospital-affiliated doctor's office that everyone has signed their names to.

This clarification makes a world of difference to me. Part of my issue with this was the "thank you" angle.

To beat a dead horse, I'd like to add that I think it's a shame that in order to avoid the possibility of one negative reaction, we must be so 'politically' correct these days but... that's the world we live in. Our care as nurses is complex because we endeavor to foster a "high-touch" healing relationship with the limitations we are given. Kudos to you, helloberry, for having the initiative and the creativity to find new and genuine ways to do this. I am sure this road bump was a learning experience for you (and happily not in the form of worst-case-scenario that many forebode) and that you'll find many more ways to reach your patients in the future.

We take no umbrage with the intent nor the compassion behind it.

ooh! I like this word. I'm pocketing it.

Wow, after reading some of these responses all i can say is WOW, I hope I never have some of you as nurses! It is apparent here why satisfaction rating of inpatient service is at all time lows. Most of these respondents need to ask themselves why they became nurses in the first place. If it is not something you are doing from the heart, please leave the nursing profession. In today's marketplace, the patient has several options to seek medical treatment. If nurses practice with a "here is the door" attitude, as addressed by one respondent, taken one too many times, will quickly put them out of work completely. As for others not caring for "HCAP scores and the customer service mentality", are they sure they are ready to work in the lowest rated hospital simply because they feel the need not to care about customer satisfaction vs. productivity? I personally feel that you are doing a wonderful thing for your patients. I understand that working on an Oncology floor is completely different than other floors and that the bond and rapport that you are developing can be a meaning and long lasting relationship with some. Sending a heartfelt thank you card to patients who have personally touched you can be, not only a blessing to the patient, but you as well. I like to think of nursing as a privilege and a honor to care for any patient and I always wish to thank my patients for such. I like to thank them for trusting me with their lives, or the lives of their loved ones, even if only briefly. Please do not become hardened, as some of these respondents appear to be, yet instead let each patient touch your heart so that it may grow. A big and true heart is what a patient remembers, not how well you perform your job. Good luck on your career path and from one RN to another, I appreciate the respect you have for your patients.

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