Rudeness - page 3

Why are some nurses so rude to each other? Our ER nurses have a horrible reputation for incivility to the floor nurses. Example-last night I pick up the phone. Someone who didn't identify herself... Read More

  1. by   Nittlebug
    My favorite line for rude people is: Lighten up, Lose the attitude and CUT ME SOME ******* SLACK !! Funny thing is I'm too nice to say it..... but the next person to ride my butt just might get it
  2. by   thisnurse
    last night i made a mistake. i had a h and h draw at 7p that i didnt see until 920 pm. i drew it and sent it. pt has rectal bleeding and his last h and h was 9./27, drawn 6 hours earlier. i didnt realize that i had q6 labs and that was never reported off to me. still, i know thats up to me, im not blaming the previous nurse.

    at 1030 while i was double checking my charting (3 to 11 shift)
    i checked the h and h and it was 8/24.
    i guess i should have called the doc that very second but i didnt. i let it go and reported it to the next shift.

    the nurse i reported off to was WAY pizzed. i can understand being upset that he was now going to have to deal with this, but what i cant understand is his childlike behavior.
    i made a MISTAKE...i dont normally do this. i dont pass off work, ill stay and complete what i have to do. in fact, i did stay and call the doc...checked the chart for transfusion orders (there werent any) and found the consent. i told the doc what i had done and she was way cool about it...said it wasnt a big deal and she would be up to see if she was going to transfuse.
    it was nearly midnight. next h and h was to be drawn at 1 am.

    well the nurse was having a fit. he went in and drew the h and h at midnight. i told him what the doc had said....she wasnt even sure if she was going to transfuse him anyway because at that point he was asymptomatic and she didnt know what the attending had planned for him. in other words, she was putting it off as long as she could.

    outside of kissing his azz, i dont think i could have been more apologetic. i told him he might not even have to transfuse even if he did go under 8. ive had patients they didnt transfuse at 7.5 tho i realize thats not the norm.

    when i said that he went OFF... pts ARE transfused under 8..thats a FACT. he went on to yell at me saying this should have all been taken care of and would have been if i had drawn the lab on time.

    i dont appreciate being yelled at by my coworkers. there is no reason to raise your voice to me. i couldnt change the mistake i made and i wasnt making light of it. at the same time i dont think i deserved THAT. i did what i could to rectify it. and he knew i didnt pass a transfusion off to him on purpose. he has followed me enuff to know i dont do that.

    when he went off on me i said...i know and i apologize....then i went home. i knew myself well enuff to know that telling him right then what i thought about his attitude towards my mistake would be counterproductive. still, i am not going to let this go. when i get over wanting to slap him, i will tell him i dont appreciate being talked to like that and i dont talk to him like that.

    i was so angry that he acted like such a baby. even if i had drawn that lab on time, the doc still wouldnt have transfused him with that h and h and he still would have had to deal with it at 1 am.
    even if the doc had decided to transfuse at 8, the patient still would have had blood running when the nurse came on.
    i am hoping that he comes to realize this and feels like shyt about his tantrum.

    we are ALL so understaffed. our patients acuity is worse and worse and we are as a whole, dealing with the same issues. it just gets worse when we start bashing each other.



    god im so sick of everyone taking their frustrations out on me.
  3. by   micro
    this nurse,
    boy do i hear you.....
    nurses are human too.....
    can see how you missed an q 6, esp when patient was asymptomatic.........
    like we have time to sit for an hour look over pt. infor and the charts.....before we get out there woao

    but i do agree with you.......a mistake or a lookover is just that.....
    gee willickers........
    why do some just say k' not a problem,
    if warrants a "variance" duh, then write it, if it doesn't.....then duh'
    and why do some spazz and show us >>>>>>>___________(fill in the blank).

    almost hearkens back to hx thread of shift reports...........
    whole new energy level.........

    NURSING WHERE I AM IS TOO DANG STRESSFUL TO STRESS OUT.....YOU JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH, PRIORITIZE, WORK AS A TEAM.....ANSWER THE CALL LIGHTS, DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE AND WE ARE 24/7 aren't we?????
  4. by   RyanRN
    thisnurse, I feel for you. Mistakes happen. Would this guy have been as angry and rude if you had been involved with 3 codes and 4 admissions during your shift? Or would he have been more understanding. Point is sometimes chit happens, it's a 24 hour job and sometimes things are left that need cleaning up! If this happened consistently that would be different, but as you said, that is not the case. He sounds a bit controlling, tell him different when you are calm. He is not your boss.

    Just a thought, all this back and forth bickering between nurses may just be what the management ordered. Keeps the focus and responsibility off them. Short tempers and frustrations are usually the result of trying to do the impossible, and that's what we as a group have been handed.

    Instead of off the cuff remarks and telephone snears call the supervisors and ask THEM to solve any dilemma.If the ED is backed up because the med floor is too busy to move a patient - get the manager to figure it out (not just a "do it now' telephone order, but get up to that floor and LOOK at the situation that poor med/surg may be in and OMG offer a hand!) Nurses are funny people, we've been programmed to think we have to handle anything that comes along. Sort of a misdirected pride which is reinforced with the all too familiar statement "if you can't handle it then maybe you should leave". We take that way too personally. With all the many and new non nursing responsibilites we are handed each day WHY would we accept that criticism, it's not a valid one.

    You know that box 'they' are always telling us to think out of, well, now's the time for them to heed their own advice!!! Don't get mad with each other, get even, but do it nicely.
  5. by   micro
    but do it nicely
  6. by   mattsmom81
    While I don't condone the rude and childish yelling you endured, Thisnurse, I hope you can see his side of things.....just a little.

    I'm a night nurse who frequently gets to clean up after day and evening shifts' boo boos and oversights and it does get old...there comes a point where something has to be said...(hopefully professionally, so true). I'm sure you can relate when a nurse leaves something for you to do particularly when it may involve getting yelled at by a p'd off doc being awakened past midnite....they are NOT pleased. I'm having flashbacks now about the last time this happened with one of my GI docs (((shudder))

    I always stay and call the doc myself too with my abnormal late shift labs UNLESS the oncoming nurse wishes otherwise. Saves a lot of hurt feelings, plus we're being accountable for our practice.
  7. by   micheledenisern
    Melly,

    I'm sorry to hear about the way you feel about ER nurses, but I do know what you are talking about, as I am an ER NURSE myself.

    Since 1976 untill 1998, I had always worked on the floor, in different capacities, housekeeping, certified nurses aide, ward clerk, lpn, and than rn in 1975.

    Having had a wide range of experience, I have experienced rudness from all ends of the hospital, in every department, in one way or another.

    I do not believe that we can just put it all on ER nurses, all though in the facility I work in now, I had reservations about going to the ER, because of the reputation of the nurses being rude.

    I had experienced the rudness when recieving report on several occasions, but I have to say, when I've given report to other floors, I've experienced the same thing.

    I've run into alot of wonderful, caring, thoughtful, nurses all over the hospital, and in the ER, as well.

    Unfortunatelly, you do come into contact with a nurse who is down right rude, not just sometimes, but rude all the time. It is their personality, and I've learned to take them with a grain of salt.

    My husband and I we're talking about this very thing last night, as he works in the same hospital I do also.

    In you specialty area's, like ICU, CCU, ER,I believe you will always run into nurses with strong, sometimes dominering, bossy, attitudes. But I find in these area's you have to have a strong personality to do the stressful work that we do. I have to say, that we are a different breed. Not that we are any better, because we are not, we just tend to have extremely strong personalities.

    Is it right to behave in the above fashion outlined, NO. I feel I have a very strong personality, and I don't put up with nonsense.
    But I believe I have a kind side also, and I truly try to treat people the way I would want to be treated, or even how I would want my loved one's to be treated. I love what I do, and I truly believe that I make a difference in a positive way.

    I have a good repore with the nurses on the floor, and in the other axillary departments, because I choose to be nice, even in a bad situation. Do I get ignorant sometimes, of course, who does'nt. We all have our days, but I do choose to apoligize where warranted, and I believe my peers respect me for that.

    I am a supervisor in the ER, and have 7 nurses underneath me, in the area that I supervise. One thing I tell them, is to try to think of at least one nice thing to say to someone they come into contact with every day, because we know it's easy to come up with something negative. I'm not an angel, and have shown my bad side more than once when provoked, but I try to avoid such times.

    I would like to throw this in, not only for ER nurses, but floor nurses as well. Please be remindful of patients privacy. You never know who may see what your doing, at any given moment.

    It is not the best policy to take an ekg, or give a bed bath, or place a patient on a commode, with the whole world watching. I've even had patients come in on the ambulance, that need to be placed in a gown, and are left wide open for everyone to see. I dont think it's right, I surely would not want to be the patient, feeling ill as it is, and flashing everyone to boot.

    Well enough for me. Again I apologize for the nurses in my setting Melly, that have been rude and unkind to you, there is no excuse, and in the long run, reflects badly on the nurses like myself who try hard to keep a good repore with nurses on other floors.

    If we could just see, that everyone is important, in whatever role they play in the work setting, from housekeeping, dietary, administration, nursing, and other anxillary departments, maybe we would'nt be so brash.


    TRY THIS - when you encounter someone on the phone, or in person, think of it as talking to your mother on the phone, or your favorite coach or teacher, etc, and you'll see how much nicer you can be.

    Michele- please feel free to reply to me
  8. by   hapeewendy
    we all have our less than stellar personality moments. I just try to keep mine at a minimum....
    I can understand the night nurses frustration as I too am often cleaning up for the day/eveningshift
    ie - things they didnt get around to doing, missed labs that need intervention of somekind etc

    what I've said to the nurses involved is that nursing is 24/7 there will always be work to do, but with the whole lab thing, its much more effective to call on days/evenings because you can speak to the dr in charge of care for that pt, once 2300hrs comes everything gets left to medicince on call in my hospital, and they are often hesitant to act because they dont know the patient personally.....aside from that, no matter what there is work for all shifts to do, my problem is people who ALWAYS seem to leave things for me to do.....like chronic work avoider type people.

    we experience rudeness daily,heres my little story
    I was taking the bus home from a particularly bad 12 hr nite shift, when the bus jerked quickly and my bag bumped into this woman, I didnt even realize it had because I was listening to music and ppl were jerked into me too etc, so I feel her tap my shoulder, and say "watch your bag you hit me in the shoulder" I apologized politely and said that it wasnt intentional and she continued to ream me out saying that I need to pay more attention to others (keep in mind that I am in my scrubs as we speak, if you can show me a nurse who gets the chance not to pay attention to others for at least 11hrs of their 12 hour shift you take me to them!) I politely explained yet again that it was an accident and wouldnt happen again and that wasnt acceptable by her and she said that I was using my bag as a weapon!!!! *yes excuse me while I rob this bank, stick em up, I have my nike athletic bag, you dont want me to use it!!!*
    I just had enough, I nicely said, in a calm quiet tone but loud enough for those nearby to hear , that I had just been working for 12 hours with ppl who may not see tonight , and that if she was going to continue to be overly concerned about an accidental bump in the shoulder that she could continue talking and that I just wouldnt be responding anymore, and that in my opinion she needed to get some perspective, many of the ppl I work with would love to be able to ride a bus even if it came along with the occasional bump in the shoulder, and finally that if she is so fragile she shouldnt be riding public transportation *I know the last part came off sarcastic but I kept my nice tone of voice, but I was tired and pissed!*
    needless to say I'm sure she felt like a big loser and she should have, we dont need to go around this world tryin to drag other ppl down
    bad day good day whatever, I dont readily take out my frustrations on others, so I dont buy that excuse, which seems to be the one people dish out after they have been a$$holes
  9. by   mattsmom81
    Originally posted by Nittlebug
    My favorite line for rude people is: Lighten up, Lose the attitude and CUT ME SOME ******* SLACK !! Funny thing is I'm too nice to say it..... but the next person to ride my butt just might get it
    The last day at my last job soooo enjoyed saying this to my favorite(not) cardiologist as he threw a hissy fit at the desk; insisting I cater to his silly request when I was extremely busy with charge stuff.

    His jaw just about hit the floor and it felt so good say "Give me a ******* break...this is not an earth shaking problem here, is it Doc?" heheheheh:roll
    Last edit by mattsmom81 on Mar 31, '02
  10. by   thisnurse
    i can appreciate his anger. i understand it. ive had things left for me...on purpose and not. you can get your message across without raising your voice and throwing your papers.
    he could be as angry as he wanted ..but that wasnt going to change the fact that he might have to do a transfusion. as it turned out, he didnt even have to transfuse...just like i told him.

    that was his "freebie". ill let something like this go once and if it happens again ill give it right back.

    tempers are running high on our unit because our acuity is so bad. when i work daylight and fill out the staffing report for my patients i wonder why i even bother. i can describe their acuity but we dont get the staff to cover anyway. all that seems to matter is numbers.

    ripping each others heads off isnt going to improve anything.
  11. by   mcl4
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by thisnurse
    [B]last night i made a mistake. i had a h and h draw at 7p that i didnt see until 920 pm. i drew it and sent it. pt has rectal bleeding and his last h and h was 9./27, drawn 6 hours earlier. i didnt realize that i had q6 labs and that was never reported off to me. still, i know thats up to me, im not blaming the previous nurse.

    at 1030 while i was double checking my charting (3 to 11 shift)
    i checked the h and h and it was 8/24.
    i guess i should have called the doc that very second but i didnt. i let it go and reported it to the next shift.

    the nurse i reported off to was WAY pizzed. i can understand being upset that he was now going to have to deal with this, but what i cant understand is his childlike behavior.
    i made a MISTAKE...i dont normally do this. i dont pass off work, ill stay and complete what i have to do. in fact, i did stay and call the doc...checked the chart for transfusion orders (there werent any) and found the consent. i told the doc what i had done and she was way cool about it...said it wasnt a big deal and she would be up to see if she was going to transfuse.
    it was nearly midnight. next h and h was to be drawn at 1 am.

    well the nurse was having a fit. he went in and drew the h and h at midnight. i told him what the doc had said....she wasnt even sure if she was going to transfuse him anyway because at that point he was asymptomatic and she didnt know what the attending had planned for him. in other words, she was putting it off as long as she could.



    You called the physician, there was no blood ordered so at the end of the day, no harm was done with this incident. It appears you would have done things earlier if this happen were to happen again, but why make a issue over this is beyond me.

    One thing I've learnt in life and this is what goes around comes around.
  12. by   micro
    micro believes in the rules, but also that some rules are stupid.......and made up by people and organizations believing that they are perfect.......hence keeps them in the job.........

    like, duh.....it has been a killer of a shift.....any of you here know what I am talking about......and duh.....I forget to sign out a tylenol.....but I tell you in report I gave it.........

    write me a variance, sing me a song......be anal retentive all the day long.......

    warping out micro.........love this bb and threads.....but better get some sleep.....or the REAL MICRO COMES OUT TO PLAY!!!!!
  13. by   Sleepyeyes
    IMHO,a lot of rudeness stems from someone's judgment of your performance and the expectations based on that judgment.

    A common theme throughout this thread is that someone "ought to" have done something and it was not done.

    For instance, "She OUGHT TO take report the millisecond that I am ready to give it, since she OUGHT TO understand that we're getting backed up down here." Or "I know she wants to give me report right now, but she OUGHT TO understand that one of my patients is having severe intractable pain and I see his Doc trying to run off the floor before I get an order for a pain management consult, the sniveling little coward."

    Instead of assuming that we're trying to avoid work, we need to assume that we're all doing as much as we can, as fast as we can.

    Maybe we need to step back a little and look at the big picture--if it's happening to all of us, if it "comes with the territory," maybe we need to redefine the territory and stop voting with our feet.
    Just a thought.
    ((((hugs to all)))))
    :kiss

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