"Nurses are so Mean" - page 8

by Ruby Vee

61,089 Views | 219 Comments

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." And then if you add in all the... Read More


  1. 3
    Quote from is5512
    With all due respect, Ma'am, the economy and the corporations etc are doing us a favor. They are helping us identify who has integrity and who does not.
    Yes, definitely, but not necessarily the way you mean. I currently work for an employer (but not much longer, I hope!!) that runs off all the good, competent, honest people and not just keeps but promotes and indulges the sorry losers. The worse example of a nurse you are, the brighter your future with this organization. I've never run into so many nurses in one place (including throughout the administration) that make me embarrassed to be a nurse.
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    In hindsight, which as we all know is 20/20, I used to be one of those "scary nurses" raising red flags everywhere. In 1988, my kind unit manager took me into his office. I cried. I had the skill, yet lacked the confidence. I was trembling at the thought of performing a simple "Nursing 101" task. Once I felt as though I had a safe platform where I could actually share that with someone without feeling as though I was a burden or dissapointment, or ruining someone's (that preceptor's) day, I flourished. It is a big scary deal, and we have all been there. Perhaps approach can be considered, and the preceptor's expectations could be modified, within the scope of your facility's policies. Perhaps the "scary nurse" would be better off with another preceptor. Perhaps, that flag raising nurse is on this site or another forum venting about how "scary" her preceptor is. It is also fair to say that some individuals just clash. You could be the preceptor for someone who's company you would not necessarily seek outside of a work situation, and vice versa.
  3. 0
    This problem could be fixed by removing all femal nurses. LOL
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    I'll just gingerly step over the post directly above this one---:uhoh21:

    Doc Lori RN- I agree with you about the value of having a preceptor with the grace to allow a new nurse to talk about her anxiety in a safe place. I had a similar experience when I decided to talk to a supervisor honestly about my anxiety in a certain area-- it's amazing how knowing the world won't come to an end if you share your vulnerabilities, and that a person believes in your ultimate potential frees up the energy needed to master the task at hand.

    I wish all were mature enough to listen to a new grad's normal and understandable anxiety and provide the psychological space for growth to them. It's quite a blessing and as you said, can be just enough to allow the new person to turn the corner.
    RetRN77, Doc Lori, R.N., and queen777 like this.
  5. 1
    Quote from elkpark
    Yes, definitely, but not necessarily the way you mean. I currently work for an employer (but not much longer, I hope!!) that runs off all the good, competent, honest people and not just keeps but promotes and indulges the sorry losers. The worse example of a nurse you are, the brighter your future with this organization. I've never run into so many nurses in one place (including throughout the administration) that make me embarrassed to be a nurse.
    This was the reason I quit nursing although I do wish I had kept up my skills now due to my husband's business doing so poorly we could use the money. I just got tired of not being able to Just Go To Work and do my job without having to fix a problem created by the last nurse.
    And the pranksters...they would say.. "no that's not my patient", "yes, that's my patient", "not my patient', just stupid stuff, in the mean time I needed vitals on a particular patient. I just wanted to slap them. I really just wanted to do my job!
    Doc Lori, R.N. likes this.
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    I agree to
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    Dont let anyone spoil your journey. If a unit is toxic, get out - but take your time. I find major teaching facilities are addressing horizontal violence more so than community hospitals. In fact, there are some that will actually suspend or fire an individual for lack of civility. That is because this problem is a MAJOR safety issue. If you decide to speak with your manager or HR, BE WELL ARMED. Get some ideas from Suzanne Gordons website; there is a great article in "Health Affairs" journal titled "Bullying" that pertains to behavior among nurses; on the Joint Commission site you can find specific new guidelines that
    address the issue BECAUSE IT IS A PATIENT SAFETY ISSUE; finally the Robert Wood Johnson public policy site has some articles that are worthy of finding.Take good care of yourself and remember, its usually because they are deeply unhappy, may have made some bad choices in their life - everyone else is supposed to "understand" their rage in the workplace. Given that
    medical errors continue to be a hugh problem, many health policy experts are taking a hard look at workplace communication.
    All units should be "safe" in that communication is open and without ridicule. Finally, keep in mind that poor behavior by some nurses does not make us worthy of respect by other groups. WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND IT IS US.
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    I understand where you are coming from. We all get frustrated and get into bad moods. But at your job you are supposed to be professional and set an example. You are supposed to get along with your co-workers, accept the new ones that arrive and educate the unexperienced. You aren't supposed to be mean and hateful because "you're having a bad day". Too bad, you are at work not your home, you are in a professional setting, would you be a jerk to your patients because you're "having a bad day"? Maybe the reason why you would be so rich if you had money for everytime you heard someone say nurses are mean is because some of them really are this mean...maybe just maybe.
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    Yes, some nurses eat their young......plain and simple and you know who you are. And then there are those nurses that take you under their wing and foster, and nurture that potential they see within you. There is a clear difference in being "mean" and having a bad day. "Mean" tends to be consistent. I have had bad days but always warn my coworkers and let them know how I'm feeling. E.g. "I'm feeling a little down today or this happened so just bear with me." Communication is huge and often it does not happen. Yes, nursing is stressful but creating an environment that is lacking in respect, and courtesy is not conducive to optimal patient care. Clearly when you feel good and your coworkers support you, your patients are going to receive all that "good stuff" rolling down the pike. Yes, I have really bad days esp when my personal relationships are in turmoil but you have to compartmentalize. I think that we as nurses need more support with that. We're given a lot and told more or less to deal with it. I think we have a long way to come in terms of supporting eachother. We just don't have the tools. They say that 80% of nurses have grown up with at least one alcoholic parent. It's difficult to support others when we can't even support ourselves. Nurturing begins with ourselves. We often fail ourselves while rehabilitating others. Where do we go to replenish ourselves? How can a starving person feed others???
    Last edit by grish on Aug 11, '10
  10. 0
    You seek counseling. You "nurse your spirit"!


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