NOW how does it feel???

[JanetCCURN]

I work with a newer male nurse who's been nursing about a year as a second career. He's older than me, he could be my dad. We have a policy at work, all the piggybacks and drips must have a hide-a-sticker label over hippa type info and they carried out and disguarded in the medical waste bin in the dirty utility room. This nurse has built the reputation for leaving his old bags piled up in the rooms he works in and hardly ever throws them away, in addition to leaving his room and patient discombobulated in the bed. One day after noticing a pattern I addressed it stating how it's unprofessional and rude not to throw your trash and let the next shift pick up after you. He's response was "oh, did I leave my tubings and bags in the sink again??? Hahaha..." uh, yeah you did! So I had to follow him on a different day same patient with multiple bags changed through out the shift. Guess what I did!????

Every bag was due to be changed by the next morning, I'd tossed all the old tubbings with all the piggybacks out as they were completed. (so he'd have to start fresh) I even gave him a nice heads up that the patient was gonna need new tubings for everything he says "oh whatever, that's fine" ok. Pumps alarm after change of shift... I hung around to see. It's an isolation room too! Lots of gowning and ungowning, ESP if you forget to bring stuff in the room. He says omg! I didn't think you left it all empty! I said have a good day :-) and left. Come to find out from a another nurse "ohhhh, you are on his hit list" I said why, because he gets away with leaving his trash behind. Well all I did was cleaned up (literally) she too has had same issues. Today I get to see him. Was this too far? I personally don't know what else to do to get him to change his chronic bad behavior. What's worse is that he thinks it's funny and ok to do this. I'm trying to avoid going to the big boss, but how unprofessional is this???!!!!

[Lucky0220]

unprofessional actions imho. you probably didn't solve anything. however, you very well may have exacerbated the original issue. if you end up having to go to a manager about his behaviour, you may have a difficult time because your behaviour was not exactly kosher. why didn't you just confront him directly and let him know exactly what he did wrong and why it was wrong. then, you could have worked out a plan to for correction. let him know you do not want to go up the chain and that if there are no issues you will drop it; however, if this behaviour continues you will take it up the chain of command and document the occurrences.

for example: "hey, i didn't appreciate you leaving the bag in the sink. it looks messy, conveys an unprofessional view of the hospital to family, friends and other employees and is an infection control issue. from now on i expect that you will dispose of used bags properly. i'll give you a pass this time but if it happens again, i will go to management and i will document these occurrences."

it just amazes me how some people are so eager to post their opinion, that they do not even give the op the respect of carefully reading the original post.

gila, not to single you out, but for you and the others who said basically the same thing, please notice what i quoted from the op:

"one day after noticing a pattern i addressed it stating how it's unprofessional and rude not to throw your trash and let the next shift pick up after you. he's response was "oh, did i leave my tubings and bags in the sink again??? hahaha..." uh, yeah you did! so i had to follow him on a different day same patient with multiple bags changed through out the shift. "

so you see, she did try to talk to him about it!

[Rob72, ASN, RN]

"one day after noticing a pattern i addressed it stating how it's unprofessional and rude not to throw your trash and let the next shift pick up after you. he's response was "oh, did i leave my tubings and bags in the sink again??? hahaha..." uh, yeah you did! so i had to follow him on a different day same patient with multiple bags changed through out the shift. "

so you see, she did try to talk to him about it!

this is the important observation- there is no "relational" win with this behavioral pattern(or this dude). the response, "oh, did i leave my tubings and bags in the sink again??? hahaha...", is condescending, in person, and mitigating in the third person.

what will management do? his response will center on how busy/understaffed/helping someone move their patient he was. he *may* receive a warning. again, note his use of verbal tactics in deflecting a female counterpart. this indicates greater than average awareness of female social models. he knows she's pi**ed, he knows she can't do anything about it. whether the confrontation is via management or personal interface, escalation will likely occur.

a "nice guy", well integrated into a female-dominated co-ed workplace, having typical male "cluelessness" would have apologetically backtracked and made efforts to re-establish himself (to some degree) in the social structure. this fellow did not. he was dismissive. he did demonstrate that he knows he can continue in (at best) disruptive behavior. if he's made statements that the op is on his poop-list, he is indicating that he's willing to use his social tools (assumed air of competence/minority status/gender difference/immunity to peer-pressure) to cause her personal and/or professional harm.

most people are reasonably decent. some are jerks. some are predators. low-performing predators choose environments where they can be the big fish(i.e., "ponds" with differing norms, where they can operate freely and without serious challenge).

janet, if you're checking back in, i would ask what this guy's first career was- it would be very informative.

[xtian0143]

why why why delilah..... why do "female" nurses always complain, always confrontational and are the ones who are doing the right things. WHY!? as a male nurse who often encounter a "female" counterpart of the "male" nurse stated, I don't give a sh-t. I'll just throw it away not a big deal, when she comes back i will tell her " Hey i disposed all the tubings u left in the sink coz i dont want u to get in trouble" hopefully her conscience intervene next time. but "female" im sure they are planning a retaliation already lol (just kidding). We have to accept that "jerks" "incompetent" "irresponsible" people exist and the best way to avoid them is to befriend them i don't know if that make sense coz im assuming that by doing so they will think twice before they leave u a mess, and if it is really a habitual bad practice im sure management will notice and that person will be gone in no time. good interpersonal relationship in our profession is vital if its just us being affected just endure it be more patient, we never know that we might need that persons help later on. and beside you don't want to worry about retaliation and that awkward feeling every time u see each other, darn may develop into something that last like what happened to my mom and dad lol. so "female" nurses be careful, charm of male nurses esp those who are badboy-like funny behavior are usually hard to resist :)).

[JanetCCURN]

Sorry, its been a while. Funny you ask about his profession prior. He was in the Postal service, since retired. He makes plenty of inferences from his previous profession in terms of the politics and what not. I do think he is immuned to most BS. However, this really made him mad.

Just for those curious about the outcome. Few days later, SAME patient in-fact, he was avoiding me, went strait into the room, only to find full brand new bags of meds, fresh labeled tubing, no trash anywhere. Pt comfortable, sedated, ventilated, crisp linens and turned with pillows. Comes to me 15 mins later and says "any updates". Uncomfortable aura, said what I had to say. Almost left the unit, only to turn back and discuss his perceptions and clear the air. He recognized his issue, I apologized for giving him additional (kinda unnecessary extra work), but asked how he felt. Tried to hug it out, but he said it would take awhile. 1 week later I saw him in a hospital wide forum, he approached me and said "no hard feelings", hugged it out and that was that. Havent followed him since.

A few days later, Same scenario, but totally different person. I was slightly livid. I took a picture of it, blew it up in size, no HIPPA info shown--hard to tell which patient this was, and typed a "your mother doesn't work here" type letter, but everyone I worked with was praising and probing. Kept that info to myself and said, "hey, we have multiple offenders, just dont be one". But people know. So that was xeroxed and placed into the bosses inbox.

Haven't seen this issue since.