New Nurse/Old Attitude

Nurses Relations

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[color=#0c0b62]it must be summer again -- all the posts from newer graduates who have just started new jobs and are convinced that their new colleagues are being mean to them. then they proceed to tell us that they're not contributing to the problem -- they barely say anything at work, yet they're "approachable and friendly -- and it's entirely the fault of their colleagues who are bullies. and a bunch of other newer grads jump on the thread, proclaiming how awful it is that nurses eat their young, and how everyone knows that old nurses are mean to newbies. next it will be the "they're all jealous because i'm so much younger and more beautiful" posts. [color=#0c0b62]

[color=#0c0b62]at the same time, there's a post decrying the unfairness of it all that the chatty, social nurse gets the job when the quieter nurse with the better gpa (who is convinced that she is the better nurse) doesn't get hired. as one of the quieter ones, i can see her point -- sort of. i'm beyond lucky that i started my career when there was a shortage, because i probably wouldn't get hired now. i'm actually shy, although probably none of you who read my posts would believe that.

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[color=#0c0b62]the thing is, hiring managers hire those people they'd like to see at work every morning. especially when it comes to new grads -- we can teach you how to be a nurse; but we cannot teach you how to be the person we enjoy working with. so the social person is more apt to be hired than the quiet person. male or female, great school versus ok school. fabulous gpa versus just barely got through -- managers are going to hire the person they can chat with. whether that's fair or not, that's just the way it is.

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[color=#0c0b62]if you're quiet and shy and you managed to get hired, that's great. congratulations. you've got your work cut out for you because in addition to learning how to be a nurse, you now have to learn how to get along with your new colleagues.

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[color=#0c0b62]you might be there for the patients, to do your job and not to make friends. but the fact of the matter is that nursing is teamwork, and it's hard to feel as if you're part of a team (or for others to feel that you are) if you're not friendly with your coworkers. that means you have to be prepared to chat with them. i've seen posts from newbies who were incensed that their older colleagues asked them personal questions such as were they seeing anyone or how old their kids were. probably all their colleagues wanted was some basis for chatting. politics and religion aren't very safe topics, but nearly everyone likes to talk about their kids.

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[color=#0c0b62]so you're working at a new job, and because you're new, you make mistakes. most of us understand that, and when we're not stressed out by the overwhelming pressure of keeping our patients safe and cared for while orienting you, we're understanding. however when we point out your errors and you are quiet or defensive, it appears to us that you don't get it. you could hurt someone if you don't get it right. we need for you to get it. if we point out a few errors and you don't seem to appreciate the seriousness, we may get more strident when we point out the next error. hence the complaint from the newer nurse that "they're acting like i killed someone when no one was harmed." that's not the experienced nurses being nasty to a newbie. that's the experienced nurse trying to elicit the proper appreciation of an error. usually.

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[color=#0c0b62]i'm not saying that there is never an experienced nurse being nasty to a newbie . . . but i am saying that it doesn't happen nearly as often as i see it complained about. when you think about it, i'm older than the parents of the last few orientees i've had. when their parents point out errors, they probably roll their eyes and complain about how unfair mom or dad is being. (just like we did when our parents came down on us.) it's not that far from complaining how mean the experienced nurses are. fortunately, i've been blessed with truly smart newbies with great attitudes. some of the attitudes i've seen on this board, though, aren't nearly as good.

My unit has PLENTY Of mean/aggressive people. it works well if it is a shift with all mean people and the orientee is also mean. I hear nurses plot how they will be mean to someone to get rid of them. Many love to sit around and make fun of others and talk behind his/her back. MANY will let you do something wrong, never tell you, email the manager and sit around making fun of you for that. If you are not of the same personality it is probably in your best interest to sit in the corner and not reveal any details of your personal life. I am the type that can have a job for years and no one knows ANYTHING about me or I can fake being social pretty well, can be mean or nice, anything. I think that is a pretty good skill to have.

Although some appear to be sensitive about their age..... most of the "old nurses" where I work are barely 30. Many of the new nurses are a lot older. Very few have worked on that unit for more than 5 years. There is the group that loves to let others know how great they are and assumes that those who do not preach about their own greatness must be idiots. We did have some TERRIBLE new grads that assume they know everything when they know NOTHING. We also have some "veterans" that do not KNOW ANY MORE than these new grads but think they are an expert in all things nursing. The latter tend to be the MOST annoying.

Specializes in Emergency, Haematology/Oncology.

QUOTE from Creamsoda "How did that first nurse not get fired?".

I am very glad you asked. By telling lies, crying, and blaming her employer for not educating her properly. The way most sociopaths get away with things. In Australia it is EXTREMELY difficult to fire somebody in a government job, regardless of how dangerous or selfish you are.

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I agree that the schools are not preparing the students to be new nurses. They leave the environment of minimal clinical time, "simulation labs", fake arms to draw blood and start IV's, and never taking care of more than couple of patients and being told the "right way" it needs to be done and that everyone else is doing it wrong. Strangely enough many instructors don't have extensive bedside experience anymore......they have degree's. In the today's culture of nursing school it is no wonder hospitals are requiring residencies.....they need to teach these poor new grads the realities, and skills, of what it means being at the bedside.

Don't get me wrong....I am all for education but there still needs to be some common sense and hands on teaching. Many of my nursing instructors were bedside nurses and there was a practicality to their teachings.....they too were educated with advanced degrees (which was rare in those days) but we were told, and taught, what to expect......and to respect our "elders". which I feel is missing from the culture in general these days.

I also feel that being educated by a laptop and computer screen leaves these new grads unable to deal with the harshness and realities of humanity which is the core of being a nurse. The culture shock to these new grads can be over whelming.

Now the students leave school and are shocked at the real world. They have been fed, all those days in school, that the nurses at the bedside just weren't educated right and those nurses are somehow "beneath" the new grads. They(the new grads) are shocked and stunned that the real world is nothing AT ALL like "they" (the instructors) said it would be in school and besides these nurses with the experience at the bedside don't know how to do it right anyways. I fault the instructor and schools.

These bedside nurses are thrown to the wolves by administration and then have their staffing cut that day because there are students. These nurses are not your instructor. They are not being paid to teach you. They are not there for you.....they came to work that day to care for the patients. Their responsibility is to them, the patients...not the students. But the bedside nurse is stuck......she needs to ensure the patient is safe and cared for regardless of circumstance ...........plus, administration will do as they wish and cut staffing because it will save them money that day. Making that bedside nurse resentful and overwhelmed herself.

Now the staff that is left has to do the same level of care with less AND teach these new students. The students who are over whelmed themselves and have no clue about the nurses responsibility and are upset that the nurse isn't nice to them to answer their questions. It's a catch 22.

My question is.....where is the instructor? I know she has all the other students and can't be in two places at one time. But they were when I went to school...we didn't "bother" the staff. There was also a free "liaison" nurse, that the school had on board in cooperation with the hospital, who made sure we didn't hurt anyone. Her job was to watch and help us as well as not "bother" the regular nurses because they had a job to do that day.

Somewhere along the line the respect to those, at the bedside, has disappeared. The respect of the "elders", the "older", the "experienced" nurse is no longer apart of the curriculum......nor is it a part of our culture. This is also the generation of every one's a winner! When the reality is.....not every one wins. It's a tough world out there and nothing is going be handed to "you" (the collective you) on a silver platter. People are rude, nasty, mean. Sick people are ruder, nastier and meaner. The human body does not do anything by the book and medicine is not predictable.

This subject comes up every time are new grads. They are so overwhelmed and are stunned at the harsh reality of nursing. They are shocked that the nurses at the bedside aren't jumping for joy at being showed how to do it correctly.

We as the experienced one's need to remember how it feels to be that new nurse....fresh and ambitious ready to change the world. We need to step back and remember how hard it was for us and not repeat the mistakes that were made teaching us when we were new. The new nurses need to remember that these old bats have been doing this a long time and that through continuing education and actively working at the bedside keeps the bedside nurse pretty current on how to do things.

New grads need to remember that there is more than one side to every story and more than one way to skin a cat.

But, there is always that one mean and spiteful bully. Just like in all aspects of life, there is always going to be that one, or two in every crowd....:cool:....and it spoils the whole bunch

this is very true; i am in LPN school now and my instructors do not reflect to students how the real world is, as LPNs we will have to do a med pass on 20-50 patients in a nursing home, sorry you do not have time to "crush each med seperately" when your patient has 10-25 meds! Also, they do not explain to them that as a nurse, ESPECIALLY in LTC (which is where 90% of the jobs are for LPNs in NJ) you may not always have someone to run to. As nurses we are supposed to be taught critical thinking, and I think my instructors are too worried about test scores then making GOOD nurses.

Specializes in SNF.

@ BrandonLPN: i didnt complain about med pass, i meant management was broken.read my post once more, you completely misunderstood me.

"Hope I die before I get old"

hahahaha

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.

I love to precept nursing students and new grads, and I'd like to think I'm good at it. One of the reasons I enjoy it so much and throw so much of myself into it is because my preceptor, all those long years ago, was horrid to me. The first thing she ever said to me was "Don't think you're anything special because you're getting a BSN." At that point, my naive little soul was crushed. I didn't think I was anything special, I was proud I found the unit that day, and had no illusions about my skill level or superiority. She was a textbook example of how not to precept. It was a tiny L&D unit, and she and I would usually be the only nursing staff present (the "secondary" nurse would pass meds on the med/surg unit until her services were needed in L&D) and she would go in the other room and sleep, leaving me with a labor patient by myself. I was thrown into the deep end with lead weights on my feet. I learned to speak up for myself, I came in on her off weekends to work with the nurse on the other pattern so I could get another, less intimidating experience, and I learned how not to treat a student. When I was hired into the same unit, she was just as nasty, but at that point all the rest of the staff and the MDs liked me and helped me in every way possible, so I didn't care. So now, as a preceptor myself, I try to make the experience fun, safe, and I try to turn everything into a learning experience. I point out mistakes, but gently.

I really wonder, though, about some of the things I see. The newest, youngest new hire in our unit is chronically late. She's still on probation and very well may lose her job because she refuses to clock in on time. Other nurses have tried to point it out to her, but she just doesn't seem to think it's important. One of the newbies of a couple of years ago would come in and take a recovery patient if she ever had the opportunity (we self assign unless the unit is falling apart, then the charge will at least pair up appropriate patients). This meant that she would walk in to a patient who had, at most, another hour in the unit. She would do her fundal checks and VS and then ship the patient to postpartum and then the phone would come out and the texting would start. I wondered if she had a phone sex career as a side job. Finally one of the "old" nurses told her, "We know how to labor patients, you do not. You are not taking another recovery patient today." I've cringed as a student from my alma mater, when offered the opportunity to do a Foley, said, "Oh, I'm going to be a manager, I don't need to know how to do that." I've also overheard a student say to another, "Do you think I should tell that nurse she's doing it wrong?" No, no you should not. I fault the instructors to a large degree. The students are told that they are being taught the right way, the only way. They are told they will see things on the unit that will be all wrong. Instructors neglect to make sure they treat the staff with respect. It's so frustrating to need to sit down and chart only to find every chair occupied by a student, and it never occurs to them to get up and give the seat to the person that is working. These attitudes carry over to the working world, and it can cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

I love new nurses, and I value them (anyone that contributes to adequate staffing is a treasure in my book), but I also see what frustrates old nurses so much. And I remember being that new nurse and feeling like I was being eaten alive every day.

Please slap me repeatedly if I ever act like that.

There are ALWAYS nurses, new ones and older ones that will try to knock down new nurses. It's ridiculous.

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