I was violated by a doctor

[abbaking]

Let start off by saying this - This was a nightmare from HELL and I do not wish this on my worst enemy. Please excuse the typo's - I am not a good speller. Some backround information - I had tonsil pain/sore throat for about 10 days before seeing this doctor. I thought nothing of it really as I had no other flu-like symptoms and the pain was bearable. I wanted to be R/O for tonsilitis and recieve a course of antibiotics and some rest....no big deal. I belong to a health insurance company where the medical offices and the doctors are mostly Seventh-Day Adventist. The SDA's usually abstain from alcohol, smoking, caffiene, coffee and meat. MOst of them seem to be positive and nice people....This is not going to be a bashing vent. I saw this doctor, told him of my symptoms and he proceded to do an examination. The exam was fine....nothing out of the ordinary. WHen the doctor reviewed my medical record....he asked me about my sexual health history. "Mr._____, I see that you came to our clinic a few months back for STD/HIV testing. Are you wanting to get tested today?" No, I was recently tested and i am fine. "Mr._____, You are a homosexual and you are sexually active...there is a possibility that you may have an STD and your tonsils may be sign of Primary HIV infection".

This was uncalled for for SEVERAL reasons... 1- I came to be seen to r/o acute tonsilitis - I have recurring tonsil problems I know my body cause its MINE 2- My sexual health history has nothing to do with why i am being seen TODAY 3- He is implying that I practice unsafe sexual relations....As my dad always said -"dont be a fool wrap your tool" 4- he statements leads one to believe that hetrosexuals do not have the same risks.

Thuis doctor continued to press me for a STD/HIV test. I told him i was tested in July at the public health department....Why the public health Dept Mr.____? Because this is why people hate coming to an Adventist health clinic....you people shame them and make them feel like crap. At least at public health, they have seen it all and dont care. At county health it goes like this:"So you just came back from Pride weekend in San Francisco, hope you had fun...here is the lttle brown bag of condoms...have fun be safe",

I told him that i was fine and this issue was NOT why i was being seen....."Well, Mr.____, this is a public health issue you may have been blah blah blah". Long story short.....I asked to have the chief attending come to assess me right then and there.....after some red tape BS he saw me. I was not given any hassle about my sexual health and was treated professionally. Dx: Acute Tonsilities Tx: Z-Pak antibiotics

Let me vent here.....This is why I hate going to Seventh-Day Adventist doctors (but my insurance trap me in a system of Adventist Health network). In my opinion Adventism is a modern twist on racism and discrimination....It makes you feel like an outsider and a loser....in there minds you need to be perfect. Nodody is perfect. This experience made me fell violated at the medical community as a whole.....I may be gay but i am deserving of respect and equality. I should have been treated for my presenting symptoms, not my previous visits history. I am proactive in my healthcare but never agin will i let myself be degraded and humiliated like that. Just needed to vent....sorry if i offend anyone on here but my voice needs to be heard and this is how i feel....but i am also still in the trauma phase so in a few weeks i should be okay

[flbeau]

one of the definitions of violated is "to treat irreverently or disrespectfully". it's pretty subjective. he can say he was violated because he feels violated, simple.

the exam was fine....nothing out of the ordinary. when the doctor reviewed my medical record....he asked me about my sexual health history. "mr._____, i see that you came to our clinic a few months back for std/hiv testing. are you wanting to get tested today?" a good doctor reviewed the medical record for risk factors, a history of std/hiv tests, perhaps an indication of risk factors that should be taken into account.

no, i was recently tested and i am fine. "mr._____, you are a homosexual and you are sexually active...there is a possibility that you may have an std and your tonsils may be sign of primary hiv infection". you are a homosexual, you are sexually active (both in your medical records, neither are offensive terms) you have been tested in the past for stds/hiv and he doesn't see evidence of a current negative test. risk factors for it being something more than tonsillitis.

this was uncalled for for several reasons... 1- i came to be seen to r/o acute tonsilitis - i have recurring tonsil problems i know my body cause its mine 2- my sexual health history has nothing to do with why i am being seen today 3- he is implying that i practice unsafe sexual relations (he is not implying you infered this from his statement of facts in your medical record, i see nowhere where he said you dirty nasty man.)

4- he statements leads one to believe that hetrosexuals do not have the same risks. (this is another conjecture, would he have asked if you were female, with a repeated std/hiv testing history and being sexually active, you don't know.)

thuis doctor continued to press me for a std/hiv test. i told him i was tested in july at the public health department....why the public health dept mr.____? (why there? could be a customer service inquiry, is there something his clinic could have done differently? how did they not meet your needs?)

i told him that i was fine and this issue was not why i was being seen....."well, mr.____, this is a public health issue you may have been blah blah blah". (a little gruff but mr. ___ your history indicates risk taking behaviors, he wants you to aware of this).

you are purposefully sensationalizing an incident to make it more than it is because it is an area of sensitivity for you. later in this thread you state the doctor made you feel like a whore. i think you are projecting your feelings on the doctor. i would again encourage you to explore your feelings about your sexuality and your risk taking sexual behavior as this doctor attempted to give you a thorough diagnosis based on your risk factors and you took this to be a violation. could he have approached this a different way, certainly. as far as insulting you he called you a homosexual (not an offensive term and not in debate) and said you were having sex, neither one used in the context you said he used it would rationally provoke one to claim violation.

[Batman24]

It doesn't sound like this doctor was shoving his personal beliefs down your throat at all. He was right to ask questions about your medical history and his concern was valid. Your symptoms could have been related to other health issues and ensuring that they weren't makes him a thorough doctor. He should have let it go after aksing you once and that was his mistake, but if you feel like whore that's on you not him. I get asked every time I go to the doc if I am pregnant and this has gone on since I am 12. I wasn't a whore and I don't think they were ever trying to insinuate I was. They wanted to make sure I got the care I needed.

[HeartsOpenWide, RN]

edit post. Did not see OP apologized for double standards.

[petunia2016]

the exam was fine....nothing out of the ordinary. when the doctor reviewed my medical record....he asked me about my sexual health history. "mr._____, i see that you came to our clinic a few months back for std/hiv testing. are you wanting to get tested today?" a good doctor reviewed the medical record for risk factors, a history of std/hiv tests, perhaps an indication of risk factors that should be taken into account.

no, i was recently tested and i am fine. "mr._____, you are a homosexual and you are sexually active...there is a possibility that you may have an std and your tonsils may be sign of primary hiv infection". you are a homosexual, you are sexually active (both in your medical records, neither are offensive terms) you have been tested in the past for stds/hiv and he doesn't see evidence of a current negative test. risk factors for it being something more than tonsillitis.

this was uncalled for for several reasons... 1- i came to be seen to r/o acute tonsilitis - i have recurring tonsil problems i know my body cause its mine 2- my sexual health history has nothing to do with why i am being seen today 3- he is implying that i practice unsafe sexual relations (he is not implying you infered this from his statement of facts in your medical record, i see nowhere where he said you dirty nasty man.)

4- he statements leads one to believe that hetrosexuals do not have the same risks. (this is another conjecture, would he have asked if you were female, with a repeated std/hiv testing history and being sexually active, you don't know.)

thuis doctor continued to press me for a std/hiv test. i told him i was tested in july at the public health department....why the public health dept mr.____? (why there? could be a customer service inquiry, is there something his clinic could have done differently? how did they not meet your needs?)

i told him that i was fine and this issue was not why i was being seen....."well, mr.____, this is a public health issue you may have been blah blah blah". (a little gruff but mr. ___ your history indicates risk taking behaviors, he wants you to aware of this).

you are purposefully sensationalizing an incident to make it more than it is because it is an area of sensitivity for you. later in this thread you state the doctor made you feel like a whore. i think you are projecting your feelings on the doctor. i would again encourage you to explore your feelings about your sexuality and your risk taking sexual behavior as this doctor attempted to give you a thorough diagnosis based on your risk factors and you took this to be a violation. could he have approached this a different way, certainly. as far as insulting you he called you a homosexual (not an offensive term and not in debate) and said you were having sex, neither one used in the context you said he used it would rationally provoke one to claim violation.

i don't understand how this is in reply to what i said. could you explain?

[flbeau]

It relates to the usage of "violated" to sensationalize his complaint but is directed at the OP.

[dishes, BSN, RN]

As a nurses we are all at risk of inadvertently offending a patient, family or staff member at some point in our careers. If I offend someone, I can only hope that the offended person will discuss it with me first, so I can apologize and change my behaviour, not file a complaint as a first course of action. Before filing your complaint, maybe you could ask yourself, if I offend a patient, how do I want it handled?

kindest regards

dishes

[petunia2016]

It relates to the usage of "violated" to sensationalize his complaint but is directed at the OP.

I can understand why he used the term "violated", and I don't think he was sensationalizing his complaint at all. Yes, there are different meanings to the word, and not all of them apply here. But the patient felt he was treated disrespectfully based on his sexuality, and I am in agreement. The doctor could have been more tactful, especially since the OP made his feelings clear from the beginning. The repeated questioning about his sexual history was unnecessary. Did the doctor feel the OP's answer would change if he kept grilling him? Besides, there are other reasons the OP could have repeat infection of the tonsils. As for his history indicating risk-taking behaviors, do you mean his history as a homosexual? Because by no means does that indicate any risk-taking behaviors, despite popular belief.

It is true that some people in the gay community will conclude prejudice based on the statements of others, and sometimes these statements aren't meant to offend, but many times, the statements can be taken at their inferred face value. Like I said earlier, people may claim "tolerance", but that just isn't enough.