Today I sat and watched as my mother lay dying in her bed at the NH. Horrible-not like in the movies at all. I sort of knew what to expect but actually seeing someone die is a lot harder than most can imagine. Her lungs were so full of liquid and she rattled when she breathed. Then, at the exact moment she exhaled for the last time, all that fluid came up and out of her mouth and after a few seconds I knew she was gone. I am sad that will be my last image of her. Did she look peaceful when she was gone? No, she was just "gone". I've read so many stories about how peaceful they look at time of death and was a little shocked that it wasn't like that. It was a surreal experience and I will never forget it.
Yet in spite of it being so sad I am happy I was there at THAT moment. My Dad had gone out to have a smoke and the hospice nurse and chaplain were out of the room for a minute. I was the only one there when she died.
That being said I don't know how you guys can deal with this on a daily basis. I watched the hospice nurse and it was amazing how she helped my Mom so she didn't suffer. I have a new respect for the nursing profession-I know I couldn't to this every day.