Family Members and their pearls of wisdom... - page 4
I don't think a shift goes by where I don't shake my head and think "what is wrong with people??" Here are some gems I've heard recently from patients' families: While I'm meeting/vitaling a... Read More
Jul 12, '12I also love having to explain that, just because your mom made you her medical POA for when she needs one, she is currently AOx3, so she is still making her own decisions. She stated that she already pooped today (day shift's notes concur), and no, I will not force her to take every PRN laxative known to man just because you want her to (and managed to get her Dr to order them; thank goodness they are PRN). "BUT I'M HER POA!!!!!!"
Jul 12, '12[QUOTE=NO50FRANNY;6697627]"My mother/father/sister/boyfriend/girlfriend has been RUSHED here in an ambulance!" In my head, "no they haven't". To the visitor, "what is their name?". They then look quizzically at me and get impatient because obviously, the only person that has been rushed to a tertiary hospital in an ambulance is their relative. Plus, I know that I haven't had any phone calls with sirens in the background, and about 5 crews are waiting to unload non-critical patients.
ALL the time!! And the looks on their faces when you tell them that the aforementioned patient is now sitting in the waiting room with everyone else and that no, calling an ambulance for nonsense did not guarantee that they'd be seen immediately, but good try! Priceless.
Jul 12, '12I had a nice gem of a pts wife the other day literally lurking over my shoulder as I fed her husband who has pretty advanced dementia his pureed food.
wife: "he doesnt like this liquid stuff, i feed him real food at home."
me: "well, the dr. and speech therapy have decided a puree diet is best at this time, as he has difficulties chewing and swallowing. He actually ate about 80% of his breakfast this morning."
wife: "well, as long as hes getting something, i want him to eat."
me: *continues feeding pt, who verbalizes that the food tastes good.
5 mins later...
pt: "thats enough."
me: "all done?"
pt: "yes i am full"
Me: *starts to put tray away*
wife: "what are you doing? John!! (name change), eat more, you need to eat more!"
Pt: "I am full woman!"
wife: looks at me in disgust and wispers "do you ever make them eat more, even though they say no?"
me: "huh? like force the food into his mouth against his will? no."
wife: "yes, force feed. i force feed him at home so he gets enough nutrition. could you please force him to eat the rest?"
me: "erm. no. thats kind of illegal."
she was not a big fan of me. oh well..
wife of man getting plasmapheresis that day:
me: "ok Bob (name change), I've got your morning meds here." *rattle off all the meds I'm giving, including senna, miralax and colace*
wife: "oh, he wont be havin' those colaces and sennas."
pt: *cocks head with puzzled look*
wife: "Hes havin' that feesus today right?"
me: *thinking that feesus meant feces* "probably not if he doesnt have his stool softeners.."
wife: "why wont they let him have the feesus without those medications? he needs the feesus to live!"
me: "im sorry.. im not.. umm.. what?!"
wife: "fine, give him the medications. i just dont want him havin' to poop while theyre giving him the feesus because he cant take the machine in the bathroom with him and hell make a mess!"
me: "ohhhhh.. heh.. okay. the stool softeners wont make him go, they just make it easier to go. ill hold the miralax if you want."
wife: *nods matterafactly*
Jul 12, '12Another Bright Moment in Endoscopy--
Me to Patient (with Family Member at bedside): you can go back to eating whatever your normal diet is, the doctor isn't changing anything.
FM: Can she have pancakes?
Me: Like I said, she can have whatever she normally has, no problem.
FM: Can she have eggs?
Me: Did she eat pancakes and eggs before today?
FM: No, she only had liquids for two days...
Me: Ok, let me try again. She can have whatever she ate BEFORE THE BOWEL PREP, her USUAL FOODS--WHATEVER.
Patient: ok, good
FM: So she can have breakfast when we leave?
I give up. Really.
Me: You might want to skip carbonated beverages today, no seltzer or soda, but everything else is fine.
FM: Can he have coffee?
Me: Is coffee carbonated? (I can't help myself, some people are idiots)
FM: So then he can have tea?
I give up. Again. People are stupid...the DRUGGED people understand better than their "attentive" family members sometimes....
Jul 12, '12Quote from bezanyYeah, I love this one too especially at triage. Pt. to paramedics: "If she puts me in the waiting room I'm going to leave". Paramedics: "Where would you like us to place the patient?". Me: "Have just one guess!".My favorite of all time is: if the doctor doesnt come to see me right now, I am leaving! I want to say "do you promise?" But what I actually do is grab the AMA form. LOL
Jul 12, '12Quote from KelRN215How about the random person who stops you in the hall and says, "where's Joe Smith? He's not in his room." A. Who are you? B. Joe Smith is not my patient so C. Why would I know where he is? I used to get that kind of thing all the time in the hospital. That wasn't as bad as when doctors would walk into the back room though and say "who's taking care of Joe Smith?" Check the board. Then they come back, "Well where's Sue?" Am I her keeper? She has a phone number, call her.
Ugh. We have one hospitalist that consistently does this. He also wanders in at 0745 and is like, "who's on call for "x" service?" I don't know, dude! Call the comm center if you want to know that.
Jul 12, '12Quote from DizzyLizzyNurseThis happens EVERY day on my unit. There will be someone standing expectantly at the desk. I ask if they need anything and they promptly reply (usually sounding a bit snippity) "Yes, my husband needs to go to the bathroom!" Okay, I am happy to help, who is your husband? At this point the visitor looks quite offended and tells me what room they are coming from.
How about the people who come up to you and say, "How is my grandmother?" Um WHO is your grandmother? Then they get made when you ask for a name. I'm sorry...I have no idea who YOU are.
A: Have you ever heard of a call bell? THAT is what they are for!
B: I'm sorry that I don't know exactly what every patient's significant other/mother/father/sibling/child looks like. I have 5 patients, not 23. Don't expect me to know everything going on with every patient. Thanks
Jul 13, '12beckster's post made me think of this one.
When a family member catches me in the hall or comes up to the desk & demands to know what's going on with their loved ones care/what certain test results are & then get offended when I say something along the lines of, "well, I'm not taking care of your mom/dad/cousin/etc., so I don't know. But I can send the nurse in to update you. "
Jul 13, '12I work in LTC and float between the two units. One evening a family member came all the way to the unit I was on that night (not her mom's) and told me "My mom needs to be changed." Keep in mind that she visits often enough that I knew who her mother was without asking. I smiled my sweetest smile and said "Go ahead and turn the call light on and an aide will come take care of her." She thanked me and left to go back to mom. I'm shaking my head because in the time it took her to hunt me down and then return to turn on the call light, mom could have been changed. The same thing happened a little later that evening with a different family member. Some people seem to think the call light button is really a thumb exerciser while others seem to think it's just part of the decorations.