Dating Patients

braintree · Apr 19, 2005

doe this pa law for dating patients apply to aides as well

erroridiot · Apr 24, 2005

We had a discussion at work one day about this subject.......A nurse dated a patients daughter, she tried to kill herself when he dumped her, and then she became a patient, then her mom a patient again.......and it was just a mess.....SO i was just wondering how often it occurred and if there were any happy stories out there.

bobnurse, it looks like you found some happy stories

unfortunately, i don't know of any happy stories on this particular subject, just broken hearts, ruined careers, and other horrifying happenings from the dark side.......

Aneroo, LPN · Apr 24, 2005

I don't know if this aspect has been posted on yet or not, so sorry if it's a repeat (didn't want to read all 11 pages of stuff).

If you choose to date a client, then that's your right (unless my BON says differently). However, I feel you should be relieved of the care of that client. My manager would not let me provide care to a family member, how should this be different? -Andrea

stkates · Apr 25, 2005

I don't know if this aspect has been posted on yet or not, so sorry if it's a repeat (didn't want to read all 11 pages of stuff).
If you choose to date a client, then that's your right (unless my BON says differently). However, I feel you should be relieved of the care of that client. My manager would not let me provide care to a family member, how should this be different? -Andrea

Let's see...I'm a nurse, and as a nurse I have a RIGHT to date my patients? So...this same right applies to all professionals in health care who interact with people who may be physically and/or emotionally vulnerable? Think again - and while you're at it, think for yourself. I don't provide care for a family member not because my boss won't allow it, but because I realize it is not a good idea. I don't date patients not because my board of nursing says I can't, but because it's unethical and I know it's not the right thing to do.

Aneroo, LPN · Apr 25, 2005

Let's see...I'm a nurse, and as a nurse I have a RIGHT to date my patients? So...this same right applies to all professionals in health care who interact with people who may be physically and/or emotionally vulnerable? Think again - and while you're at it, think for yourself. I don't provide care for a family member not because my boss won't allow it, but because I realize it is not a good idea. I don't date patients not because my board of nursing says I can't, but because it's unethical and I know it's not the right thing to do.

And there are not emotionally and physically unstable people who aren't in the hospital? I'm not saying that everyone needs to go out and date their next client. It's nothing I would ever do, but I don't think that a nurse should be penalized for dating someone. There is a professional boundary- if they're dating a client, then they don't need to be caring for them in the nurse role. I feel they would neglect their other clients. I also realize it's not a good idea to care for a loved one. They need me in another role, not the nurse role. I also realize that it's nothing I would never do, but I don't feel it's someone else's place to tell me who I can and should date. I had enough of that with my parents! -Andrea

bobnurse · Apr 25, 2005

Let's see...I'm a nurse, and as a nurse I have a RIGHT to date my patients? So...this same right applies to all professionals in health care who interact with people who may be physically and/or emotionally vulnerable? Think again - and while you're at it, think for yourself. I don't provide care for a family member not because my boss won't allow it, but because I realize it is not a good idea. I don't date patients not because my board of nursing says I can't, but because it's unethical and I know it's not the right thing to do.

what about a patients family member? I know many boards of nursing say you cannot date patients, but what about the patients familY? How do you feel about that?

stkates · Apr 25, 2005

And there are not emotionally and physically unstable people who aren't in the hospital? I'm not saying that everyone needs to go out and date their next client. It's nothing I would ever do, but I don't think that a nurse should be penalized for dating someone. There is a professional boundary- if they're dating a client, then they don't need to be caring for them in the nurse role. I feel they would neglect their other clients. I also realize it's not a good idea to care for a loved one. They need me in another role, not the nurse role. I also realize that it's nothing I would never do, but I don't feel it's someone else's place to tell me who I can and should date. I had enough of that with my parents! -Andrea

Take the time to read the 11 pages of this thread. You'll read arguments for and against, and perhaps feel a little differently about what this issue entails. If the S.O. of a nurse is hospitalized on his or her unit, not being assigned to care for them is an appropriate decision. The issue I am addressing is the nurse who becomes personally involved with a patient while providing that patient's nursing care. It's not a solution to say, "Oh well, we're in love now so I guess the professional thing to do is not be assigned to you today." The professional boundary is in place from the get-go, and the nurse is aware that the patient is vulnerable by virtue of being the patient. Yes there are plenty of emotionally and physically vulnerable people outside of the hospital. What is the point you are trying to make? Not every nurse works in a hospital, and the professional boundary exists in the clinic, school, nursing home, private home, and anywhere else nurses see patients. The boards of nursing exist to protect patients from nurses who don't take this issue seriously. The boards of nursing are not your parents.

hypnotic_nurse · Apr 25, 2005

When I worked in psychiatry, it was very clearcut -- you did not date patients, you did not become friends with patients, you did not participate in their lives outside of the therapeutic milieu. Period. Sometimes you can't avoid it, if you already know them or their family -- but you shouldn't complicate their lives even more.

Other areas of nursing? I'd prefer to err on the conservative side.

stkates · Apr 25, 2005

what about a patients family member? I know many boards of nursing say you cannot date patients, but what about the patients familY? How do you feel about that?

Where I teach, the patient's families are defined as the patient as well.

AngelSpirit · Apr 25, 2005

When I worked in psychiatry, it was very clearcut -- you did not date patients, you did not become friends with patients, you did not participate in their lives outside of the therapeutic milieu. Period. Sometimes you can't avoid it, if you already know them or their family -- but you shouldn't complicate their lives even more.
Other areas of nursing? I'd prefer to err on the conservative side.

Ditto. Just makes good sense.

-AS

stkates · Apr 25, 2005

When I worked in psychiatry, it was very clearcut -- you did not date patients, you did not become friends with patients, you did not participate in their lives outside of the therapeutic milieu. Period. Sometimes you can't avoid it, if you already know them or their family -- but you shouldn't complicate their lives even more.
Other areas of nursing? I'd prefer to err on the conservative side.

I agree, it is clear cut. Why do we always seem to be searching for a rationale for behaving less-than-professionally? eg., small town, everyone knows everyone else, chemistry and sparks flying, soul mates, blah, blah, blah - as if we are helpless beings manipulated at the whims of the stars. I am not under the delusion that human beings have control over the universe, but we can control our responses within the universe.

erroridiot · Apr 26, 2005

I agree, it is clear cut.

What if.....there is no right or wrong answer to the "dating patients" issue?