Calling a Patient 'Sugar': Abuse?

[Trancelation]

I know that each agency is going to have its own policy, but is calling a patient 'sugar' or 'sweetie' considered abuse? Has anyone had the experience of being told not to call patients these titles when communicating with them out of fear of legal reprimand?

[gladheart]

The nurses and aides gran-mothered into nursing homes love love love to use those sugar, honey, sweetie words and it is so so so so annoying and disgusting. When I was a new grad and oriented into a nursing home, I felt like telling them to stop calling residents by those names and giving them pecks and kisses like they were their kids at home. Well I never did till I left the place 6 weeks later but I was happy I left.

It completely depends on the situation and relationship. When I worked correctional nursing, EVERYONE, no matter how often I saw them in medical was MR. Last name.

Now that I have been in LTC for 1 1/2 years, each resident is treated differently. Some are Ms. Jane, Mr. Smith. Some are first name basis. New residents are Mr. or Ms. Smith until we develop a relationship and they invite me to call them something else.

As for those pecks and kisses, many of those residents have no family, no family that lives close by, or no family that can find the time to visit. My co-workers and I that LOVE those people as our own are the only ones who give them kisses and hugs. One of my dementia patients today told me that I was so nice because I gave him a hug, and then he called me "mom". You bet I called him sweetie and gave him an extra hug. If that is disrespectful or unprofessional, label away. I worry about them when I am at home, I cry when they pass.

Trust me, it isn't the pay that keeps me walking back in the door everyday.

[Poi Dog]

As for those pecks and kisses, many of those residents have no family, no family that lives close by, or no family that can find the time to visit. My co-workers and I that LOVE those people as our own are the only ones who give them kisses and hugs. One of my dementia patients today told me that I was so nice because I gave him a hug, and then he called me "mom". You bet I called him sweetie and gave him an extra hug. If that is disrespectful or unprofessional, label away. I worry about them when I am at home, I cry when they pass.

Trust me, it isn't the pay that keeps me walking back in the door everyday.

Beautiful words :redbeathe

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

I think one day when I am old and in the nursing home, I will want everyone to call me 'Admiral.' Or maybe 'Janis Joplin'.

I get what you're saying, and agree with you.

OK... I'll go for Raquel Welch

[hecallsmeDuchess]

Off topic.....

A nurse I gave report to kept calling me honey over the phone, she and I have never met each other and I thought that was a weird way to address a fellow nurse but I guess I was too shocked to say anything to her...

[leslie :-D]

i have a question -

does the age of the nurse make a difference?

i only ask because i have coworkers that use these terms to patients, and it seems fine. somehow it sounds motherly and comforting.

and yet i recently had a student, maybe 20, who addressed everyone as "love", and for some reason that we could not figure, it was very condesending, and irritated both nurses and patients.comments?

yes, i do think there's a difference.

i wouldn't be pleased if a young person used an endearment...and would receive it more favorably if the nurse was either my age or older.

i think one of the reasons is psychologically, we see these (maternal?) affectionate expressions as a form of nurturing.

when an older nurse uses these sweet words, it just seems more credible than a young one doing so.

and even more important, is if you're using these endearments sincerely, or is it because you forgot their name?

more with ruby's statement.

i think it has something to do with the age of the nurse, but probably more to do with attitude. people know when the person addressing them with endearments is condescending or when it's sincere or when it's just the way that person talks.

exactly.

working inpt hospice, there was opportunity to develop incredibly palpable relationships.

i would never think to call someone honey, if i didn't know them.

it is only when we have reached a point in our relationship when it seems believable.

and even if i've had a pt for a week, it is the nature and intensity of hospice care 24/7, that also enables such intimacy.

one of the biggest tasks we nurses have, is to establish boundaries...because it's too easy to disregard them.

but as ruby states, pts are sensitive to such expressions being used earnestly or not.

leslie

[yousoldtheworld]

Technically, in the eyes of the state here, calling a resident any sort of nickname that isn't written in their care plan, is a form of abuse.

Which I find completely ridiculous.

But, I work with disabled kids and I have all kinds of nicknames for them, and they love it. I just make sure not to do it when the wrong people are around!