Being an ugly nurse

[mofomeat]

Hi folks. My questions in this thread are actually more serious than they'll seem...

We've discussed at length here how awesome it is to be a young, hot nurse. Well, how about if you're old and ugly? The first strike against me is I'm male. The second strike is I'm going to be past 40 by time I finish Nursing school. My hair is thinning a little and I've got a mild case of rosacea. I'm somewhat overweight, but I've also got a condition known as Diastasis Recti which makes it look like I have a beer gut. I never was a cute little kid to start with and never got to be "young and hot" like everyone else. Basically, I'm at tops a step up from your standard Level 4 bridge troll. In real life, if I'm too nice to people or too eager to help them with anything (an innate flaw of my personality) it somehow translates to "creepy" instead of "kind". This disqualifies me from L&D and Ped for sure, but I'm fine with that.

When a classmate of mine tells people he is going into nursing, the responses he gets are usually "*swoon* nothing like a hot male nurse!". When I tell people, I usually get stuff like "You'll be useful for all the heavy lifting and cleaning up".

Surely some of you Studly Guys and Lovely Ladies have had to work alongside someone who looks like they stepped out of the Mos Eisley Cantina scene before (and I don't mean that in the cool way). Even if the ugly nurse is reasonably intelligent, competent, fairly personable with a great sense of humor and doesn't smell bad, would their dodgy appearance make them more prone to:

1) Discipline for mistakes.

2) Lateral violence.

3) Getting a bedpan dumped in their locker

4) Patients being 'creeped out' in the presence of an ugly old man

5) Jealousy from co-workers (see Mos Eisley comment above)

6) Getting hired in the first place

7) ???

I'm not becoming a nurse to go hit on all the hot young female nurses (as my friends seem to believe) so I'm not overly worried about dating prospects. It's a job, it's a career and I'm driven to help people.

The people I work with now love the crap out of me because I'm good at what I do, I'm good at understanding what THEY do, I'm good at getting everyone and everything to work together and I make the work environment fun and enjoyable with humor and good cheer. However, we're all a bunch of computer/Star Wars/Lego/DnD geeks and we don't work with the public a whole helluva lot.

But nobody goes to a hospital to see ugly people, right? Should I just pack it in and join the circus instead?

[FLmed]

First of all, you are very articulate. Your personality really shines in this post, and I would count myself lucky to work with somebody like you. My advice is to keep your nose in the books. Furthering your education is vital. Education is the key to being a competent nurse. Knowledge and intelligence are very attractive qualities. Also, you are very funny. Laughter is medicine for the soul!! It has been shown that a good sense of humor can assist in the healing process. :-) Stay positive.

[Suzy-QQ]

Wow. Dont really know what to say ... I was greater than 40 when I graduated nursing school too. It's gonna be ok. Where are you at on your education path?

[Noun]

If anything I'm happy this thread exist just for the fact that you actually get to see how much personality really plays a role. A person can exceed themselves when they are aware of themselves and own every bit of it. When I do embarrassing things, I hope that the on lookers feel the embarrassment for me. Because I'm just a little bit too awesome to make my brain work in a pitiful-woe-is-me inferior way. I'm much more inclined toward awesome. Pick yourself up and be that which you know most, which is always who you can be best.

The only people here that can hate are the ones who see what they hate most inside or about themselves. Develop more as a person, and then maybe an iguana or something if you have the time. And you will find beauty in all things.

You can either retreat to a cave on the moon, or make those catacombs the place to be. Where the party is! Exclusive guest lists and such.

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

OP, hopefully you have a good support system or way to relieve the stress to recharge your depressing days. We all have enough of those "beat down" days. When I get wound up I hop onto the bike, do some knitting or even just stare blankly at a wall for a while.. Ha ha! Hopefully you're already back on your game and feeling better.

[Lynx25, LPN]

Well, if I ever need a self esteem boost, I know where to come!

My breasts are sagging a bit after having three kids. Will I still be a good nurse????

Y'all can start telling me how awesome I am now. :)

Your only chance to becoming a good nurse now, is if you can tuck them in your waistband so that they don't hit a patient in the face. Otherwise, you might as well hang up your scope now. D:

[mofomeat]

Wow you guys. Thanks for the tsunami of replies. I didn't expect this.

I should enunciate that I wasn't feeling depressed nor trying to do a 'woe is me' type post (at least not this time ) I see how it can look that way, though. I appreciate the positivity and helpful information. I don't have self-confidence problems per se- I have no trouble walking up to anyone and doing the usual "Hi, My name is Jurd, nice to meet you" etc. People's reactions tend to be a little standoffish, though. Classmates often arrange themselves into little cliques- something I expect from those fresh out of High School, but plenty of mature adults do the same. Either way I'm frequently the outsider. Not that I mind so much while in school (this is all competitive) but I sincerely hope that it fades away once we work in a team-based environment like a hospital.

I know that raw talent and attitude should overcome any outward appearance. However, in my long and illustrious past I've been not hired for jobs because my "appearance is not up to waitstaff standards" or similar crap, and there wasn't a darn thing wrong with the way I was dressed for the interview(s), etc. All of them crappy dead-end jobs anyways, but consider the implications.

I like to think I'm fairly smart, capable and will be competent as well as empathetic as a nurse. We'll see. I'm in the last leg of the pre-reqs and hope to apply to Nursing school for the Fall 2013 semester. Other than a bunch of reading and a few times of being a patient, I don't have much real-world experience of what a hospital environment is like. Hopefully it's very different than working in a large office. I considered trying to volunteer at a local facility over the summer just to take it all in, but A&P 1&2 fried my brain. I needed a vacation. And beer.

Thanks again everyone.

[MedChica]

There's a positive and negative to every situation.

IMO, when you're goodlooking...you get the breaks. BUT - you're harrassed more. You rec'v way more unwanted attn and sometimes?

You kind of have to fight harder to be taken seriously.

There's some rule out there stating that you can't be smart AND goodlooking.

Women are patronized more.

Men? They're flirted with mercilessly. I've seen it and yes - it's unwanted attn. All attn isn't good, y'know. Even if it is flattering. The guy just does not know how to shut it off. When this happened, I chuckle. "Welcome to the World of Women!"

...because women are a helluva lot more forward than permissable when a highly attractive male is around.

I doubt that you're ugly. I don't look at things like that anyway. I just think that people notice when others are attractive. Why not? They stick out.

Sounds the same but it isn't.

You seem like a ball to have around, though. I was laughing throughout your post.

[ArrowRN, BSN, RN]

For the record...

You don't have to be ugly to be a computer/Star Wars/Lego/DnD geek. Just throwing that out there.

Also, I never said I wasn't old.

Carry on.

Hey I'm insulted...lol I'm a Star Wars/computer geek myself and I still watch daily reruns of Star Trek on Netflix...live long and prosper... lol... Dude people in pain in a hospital don't really care how you look. You really want to know what people want from a male nurse or any nurse for that matter? It's CONFIDENCE! If you stand up proud walk with confidence and show everyone you know what you are doing (or as a new grad pretend to know what you are doing, then run to the nurse station to ask someone experienced) that's all they want and they will be very happy with having you take care of them...next thing you know everyone will be calling you Doctor...lol which I see as a perk of being a male nurse, but of course I would correct them hehe...maybe:no: lol. Anyways you gotta be a bit more confident in yourself if you are going to make it in this field. So no do not hang in the towel just yet. Hey if you still having problems with this issue you could always work in the OR where people are sedated all the time...I think thats where I'm heading cause I really dont like talking much either, I'm one of those who got no problem chatting on computer but when I get into nursing school I don't think you'd hear 2 words out of me, plus I'm a double minority i.e African American male nurse to be, so we all got our challanges to face, the point is to face it head on!:thankya:

[VictoriaGayle]

Well, you are male so hopefully looks wont matter as much in your career? I'm female so I don't know if things are the same, worse or better for males.

Looks are a double edged sword in the work place. While we are all aware of what society expects from us (and how hard it is to meet those standards) and how irrelevant it should be in a job so long as you present yourself in a profesional and hygenic manner, a few studyies have actually indicated that women who would be considered extremely atractive are less likely to be hired that an average looking peer with the same qualifications. There are also the stereotypes of cute but stupid women and handsome jerks.

Both ends of the spectrum are judged unfairly. But, considering the "hot" male nurses are going to be discriminated against as well (though in different ways) I guess you aren't really at a distinct disadvantage.

[kht124]

Honestly, people get accustomed to looks. Even if you are hideous. If you are competent and have a heart of gold, you are a good nurse. I can see a problem only if your interviewer is shallow cannot see beneath the surface.

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

Oh honey, please don't let anyone make you think you shouldn't join nursing because you don't have the looks. If nursing required everyone to be beautiful, there would truly be a dangerous nursing shortage.

[ProudNeWRN]

It's true that nurse needs to be attractive.

However, attractiveness includes skill, confidence, passion, caring, smile, knowledge, etc along with physical beauty. We all have stories about how some "ugly" people smiled and made you think otherwise. Or seeing someone caring others in a passionate way and made you think you want to be with him/her. Or that "smartest" person in a study group suddently became the "hottest" person when he/she takes time to teach you till you get it.

Unlike other occupations where employee interaction with customers only last few minutes, nursing is very involved with our customers and we can't fake it by just being physically beautiful. So work on being a total package. Other nurse will not pick on you just because you are "ugly" if you were the smartest, caring to other nurses, funniest, etc nurse on the unit.