Ooohhhhh, icky day for me. I am getting off of here and going to cry myself to sleep. My baby is in renal failure, the baby next to her is circling the drain, and all night long they desatted and refused to return to normal, timing it just so that they did this at the exact same times all night long. We lost a baby very suddenly to pulmonary hemorrhage, and it was a swift, sudden, and extremely bloody code. The baby (someone else's) seemed fine, and I went to lunch, and came back 25 minutes later and they'd already been coding for almost 20 minutes. This morning, as we flipped my baby (who is struggling on a HFOV) to reposition her, all of this blood-tinged secretory fluid came rushing up into the ETT and scared the crap out of myself and the RT, who insisted all night long (here's cheerful for ya') that neither my baby nor the one next to her would be there when we come back to work on Wednesday. And, as I was finally leaving after a horribly stressful and exhausting weekend, during which I fought off a fierce cold that is now hitting me full-force and making my sides hurt from coughing so hard, someone met me at the door with the obit from a baby we discharged a few months ago who died of SIDS. I. am. exhausted.