Waiting for Nclex-PN Results Ca 2018

Hello everyone I need some help and some positive vibes sent my way.

First let me explain my experience so far I took the Nclex-PN for the first time in October 2017 and the computer shut off at 191 questions I walked in not feeling confident and walked out unsure and confused. I had that gut feeling that I had failed, I tried the PVT and I did it completely wrong I put all the correct information and it's charged me but not knowing I did it wrong I started bawling my eyes out in the parking lot outside the testing center and felt like I had let everyone including myself down I was upset and depressed but the people around me told me to be positive. One of my friends has a co-worker that is now a RN that the same thing happened to her and she paid the $200 and ended up passing. So I was holding onto that hope by a thread. I tried breeze by registering and by seeing what was under my manage applications and it had the retake option and no initial license option I was so upset. But I got my official result in exactly 3 weeks and 4 days that I had failed I cried the whole day grieving and upset thought my life was over like my world was destroyed right in front of my eyes lol, but the following day I picked myself back up and started studying again. By the way I studied both times using just Uworld my scores improved the 2nd time around from only scoring 48-60 the first time to 60-89 the second time and I was always abover average. I had recently just taken my Nclex-PN exam for the second time and I walked in feeling excited alittle nervous because of course it's a very important exam, and I walked in confident and as I was testing once I passed 85 questions and the computer didn't shut off I knew I was expecting it to shut off at 205 and what do you know it shuts off at 205. I heard that if you remember the last question to type it into google and if your answer was right you passed and if it was wrong you failed. Well my question was no where to be found in google! (Of course that would happen to me) I waited 4 hours to try the PVT and I got the bad pop up I was only alittle upset but I didn't want to loose hope I also tried the breeze again and nothing has changed in my account it still says the same options as it did before I took my exam with the retake option. So at this point I'm just hoping and praying that I passed because this time felt way different then the first and now thinking about it I'm more calm and confident I honestly feel like I didn't fail. Before I had that feeling like I knew I failed this time it feels completely polar opposite. It's been a week and 1 day since I took my exam in the state of California. I'm still waiting for my results. I need to hear some positive stories please, some positive vibes or if you've been in the same situation as me. Or if you have taken the exam in California around the same time as me and already received your results.

The waiting process isn't killing me as much since I've been through it and especially waiting for them to send me the approval of my retake exam application that took about 4 months to get in the mail was worse. I just don't want to have to go through that process again.

p.s sorry for the long story!