Guys: How do you handle the female aggressiveness/possessiveness

Nurses Men

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I am currently 24 y.o. in an RN ADN program. Thing is, I'm in a clinical group with all women....which ain't bad but, some of these women do not get along and i'm the neutral guy who they all seem to gravitate towards. Some of these women get upset if I have conversations with other students or employees at the hospital. Better yet some employees(female) nurse aides, other medical staff are overly friendly and go out of their way to speak or get my attention. I'm constantly being asked how many children? When do you graduate? How old are you? Where do you live? They dont even ask my name lol. Its not unwanted attention, i just don't know how to handle it correctly. I look more and act maturer than my age and the older women(30 and over) seem to be very upfront when they seem to have an interest, I get the motherly/aunt vibe and it feels weird cause i can sense the sexual thoughts they may be thinking and one nurse pinched my ass...I just laughed and was about to say something to her sexual, but i had to remember where i was. If I go to the cafeteria with a different female classmate, i get looks as if i'm some sort of womanizer. Then the killer part is I have to hear these women ridicule one another as soon as one leaves the room, which i find hilarious. I could imagine what they say when i leave the room, but it doesn't bother me. I also realized that married woman love to flirt in the workplace, which is fine because I'm married. Bottom line is, i feel like I'm the females work-boyfriend, beauty consultant, gift, advicer, ego-stroker/deflater and the list goes on. Guys how do i handle it?

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Isn't it tiresome having to walk this fine line all the times? Doesn't it detract from your capabilities or does it make you better?

Wanted to reply to both your posts. First, re: craziness of women, I don't find that to be particularly a problem. As fond as I am of many of the women I work with, I'm not dating any of them. I think the age old plaint: "What do women want?" is more applicable (to the extent that it even is applicable) to women as significant others. I'll freely admit that women are a large part of the reason I'm still a bachelor, but I have never had to worry what to get my female co-workers for Valentine's Day, or explain why I thought it necessary to stop for a beer on the way home from work.

As for walking a fine line, I suppose it would make me more professional, if I did, but I tend more to rely on a mixture of common sense and good intentions. As far as flirtation goes, I think the key is to be alert to body language: if she smiles, or laughs, it's flirtation. If she appears alarmed, or frightened, or offended, it's creepy. A little flirtation can be fun, once in awhile. Creepiness is generally best avoided.

Similarly, if an aide is planning to bathe one of my elderly female patients, I may ask her to get me when she's ready, because "I need to see her naked." Or if a nurse reporting to me remarks that a patient is pretty, I may agree, "Yes, she is." But if a nurse says a patient is pretty, I don't say, "Yes, I need to see her naked." It's all a matter of context.

Finally, if a female co-worker is grouchy, or distraught, or distracted, or asks if the room is hot, I never, ever, absolutely, positively never (well...rarely) say anything to do with her reproductive system. No matter what I might be thinking.

Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.
How do u guys handle the insanity of women? I mean the extremes of mood, illogical actions and non-nonsensical responses. I observe so many times the bafflement on men's faces re. the responses they have just had from their female counterpart or the way females behave and I have have even heard it voiced of how utterly crazy women are.

read this a few times and thought.. hmmm

so.. I'll put my sword down and resist the temptation to break a few bones..

and say I think this cuts both ways. men can be just as illogical as woman. over here, its football.. men are totally illogical about football (its a game for goodness sake..not a matter of life and death). Rugby- particulary the grand slam, brings out the same crazyness..

not just us ladies who are a little crazy at times... and trust me when i say, I know men who should not be spoken to or approached in any way if their football team has lost.. in such instances, coffee should be made and left at a safe distance before retreating and then telling them that the coffee is there!

I wondered how Heatherwood's posts would be treated... They look like posts that attempt to inflame.

If they are honestly posted as questions I suspect a very young immature poster who needs a bit of life experience. Hopefully life experience will teach that people are people and all have good and bad days.

Some free advice; the sooner you learn to treat all humans with dignity the sooner you'll become an effective adult.

Mark

Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
men can be just as illogical as woman.

As far as women and men are concerned, the hardware is the same (i.e., the stuff inside the cranium), but the software is completely incompatible.

And I hate sports.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
As far as women and men are concerned, the hardware is the same (i.e., the stuff inside the cranium), but the software is completely incompatible.

And I hate sports.

Okay, you had me worried for a moment with "the hardware is the same." But I see what you mean. Not sure I quite agree with the PC analogy, though. My sense is that we're running pretty much the same program, but on slightly different platforms. I guess, in nursing, we guys are the Apples. But, Mac or Windows, if we didn't ultimately get mostly the same answers, we'd have been phased out long ago. (No offense intended to any Unix/Linux users out there, of course...)

Specializes in Making the Pt laugh..

My butt gets pinched so rarely that each time I check to see if my wallet is still in my back pocket......sigh:omy:

Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Okay, you had me worried for a moment with "the hardware is the same."

I had considered putting a different spin on the 'hardware' analogy.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
I had considered putting a different spin on the 'hardware' analogy.

I'm not saying my assessment skills don't have room for improvement, and Lord knows much has changed since I was a randy young buck, but there are some things I'm almost sure I would have noticed.

During the past 5+ years as a nurse, I have experienced some similar experiences. One elderly lady once told me "if you were a few years older and I was a few years younger, we could have some fun."

The worst situation was after I started dating my wife. An older coworker (CNA) started making advances, including physical contact. I immediately told her to stop, citing I had a girlfriend who wouldn't appreciate her actions. She responded that my girlfriend wasn't present and what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. I ended the conversation and walked away. Shortly afterward, I left that job and moved closer to my girlfriend. It is frustrating when someone has their mind set on something and they won't let it go after a simple "no" or "stop." That is where further action is needed. The coworker was in a float pool, so I didn't see her much afterwards. Knowing what I know today, and if I were married at the time, I would have made a larger issue of it.

Common sense and discretion are important in a professional work environment. I am glad I haven't had too many problems in this department.

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