Guys, do you take this personally? - page 3

If a female patient wasn't comfortable with a male patient seeing her "woman parts" for a specific procedure or something (and would rather have a female nurse do it), do you guys take it personally?... Read More

  1. by   MN-Nurse
    Here is the list of things I try to take personally:

    1. Nothing.

    End of list.
  2. by   OmairKhanRN
    Nope, I honestly do not take it personally. Everyone has their own system of beliefs and religion is a major part of healthcare. As nurses we want to provide the best care under the most comftorable situation. So if the client is most comftorable being cared for by the same sex than all power to them. Omair I. Khan, RN
  3. by   Tim92
    I'm a nurse aide at an assisted living and there are about 7 or 8 residents who won't let me help them at all or some that won't let me help get the dressed and showered. It never bothered me, it was just their personal wishes. I understand how having a male might be uncomfortable for some female patients.
  4. by   ljbrown252
    I am new, and this is my first post. I stumbled upon this threat while searching something on Google. I see no reason why gender should be of any concern to a patient when it does not involve intimate care. I do, however, see how it might be an issue when it does involve intimate care. I am a 31 year old male. As a child, I was molested by a woman. It started around the age of 5 and continued until she got caught when I was around 14(an adult walked in on one of her “sessions”). She always liked to do things to my genitals. She would hit them and put things in my urethra. Now that I’m all grown up, I still have major issues that stem from that experience. When I am in a situation, doing what I call brutal things to my genitals, I get EXTREMELY anxious. Having a female nurse put a catheter into my urethra or using a razor to shave my genitals is something I just cannot cope with. I was in a situation once that required me to be catheterized and I hyperventilated and my blood pressure shot through the roof when a female came in to do it; I have asthma which made the situation a lot worse. Anyways, after I had calmed down, I asked for a male nurse. I told her that I knew she was capable of doing it, and I explained what had happened to me when I was younger. She was very understanding and got a male to do it. He was a good nurse, too. He took the time to talk to me about what had happened to me, and he gave me the numbers of some good therapists. I took several years of therapy, and have moved past some of the issues; however, I still have a MAJOR fear of a female nurse doing anything to my genitals, especially catheterizing me or shaving me (razor near my genitals). I’ll never get over this, and it’s not my fault! I need a cystoscopy right now, but have put it off for several months and likely won’t have it done because I know it will be all female nurses prepping me. I cannot handle it AT ALL! I think, for the most part, nurses need to reevaluate themselves. I think you need to ask a patient his/her preference up front. It would make some of us feel a lot better to know you care enough to ask what we prefer. I have a legitimate reason to have fear. I have a legitimate reason to request a male nurse when it involves intimate care. Can you honestly say to me that I’m being sexist? Can you honestly say to me that I just need to suck it up and get over it and let a female nurse shove a catheter up my urethra or shave my genitals with a sharp razor? Can you honestly say that I should just ignore how I feel about it because she’s professional and seen it all before? I think not!!! Some of the posts I’ve read on this thread have just right out outraged me.
  5. by   Clementia
    Discrimination is defined as "treating someone unfairly due to prejudice". Notice the qualifier: prejudice, the irrational dislike/distrust of someone based on an attribute they have no control over.

    Classifying as discrimination a patient's request for a nurse of the same gender is utter nonsense. 99% of the time, the request is based on the patient's sense of modesty, or on personal reasons such as those given by the above poster. Not everyone has the same standards of personal modesty, but it is patronizing and wrong for us nurses to label someone else's beliefs regarding modesty as discrimination.
  6. by   CT Pixie
    Quote from Sacred eagle
    If a hospital has a L&D ward anda mammo dept you can beguaranteed that there are nomales working there. You aregiving your female patients choicesautomatically yet not accommodating your male patients. That is flat out gender discrimination and puts hospitalsin a very precarious positions.
    Guaranteed? Really? The two hospitals I delivered my daughters at (one a well known major teaching hospital the other a Catholic based hospital) both had L&D wards as well as mammo depts and at BOTH I had male nurses, one during the delivery of one of my daughters, the other a post-partum nurse for my 2nd daughter. Both hospitals also had male nurses in the NICU where my daughters were patients. As for if there were any mammography employees who were male I have no idea. But as I said both hospitals had L&D units as well as mammo depts and both had male nurses working in the L&D units. So much for being guaranteed there are no males working there.

    I personally had no issues or problems with any of the staff who were my nurses, male or female. My OB was a male so why would I have a problem with a male who happened to be my nurse?
  7. by   Devon Rex
    In one word... No.
  8. by   Medic2BSN13
    Not at all!! If a patient requests a nurse of the same gender then I fully respect their privacy.
  9. by   Andoo
    I don't take it personally. You have to take into consideration a lot of things. Perhaps they are old fashioned and don't feel right having a male nurse seeing them in such a vulnerable state. Not only that, but you have to take into consideration their past history. Maybe they have been abused or mistreated and they are just very uncomfortable having a male nurse. The best thing to do is let them know that you are a professional and if they still want to have a female nurse instead, then respect their wishes.
  10. by   davidmartindale
    I feel we are truly outsiders. I lost a jobas a hospice aid while in nursing school when I was told by a manager that myeducation interfered with my availability and was told outright to quit school,and I was eventually fired outright while female aides in my position wereopenly encouraged to study. When being introduced to the schools nursingprogram the student nurse association brought up the subject of how they offersupport to students who may be in abusive relationships, and I was the onlymale in the room the student rep pointed out directly to me they also help withgay domestic abuse as well. I'm a married hetero it is ridiculous how we areseem as an aberration in this day and age.
  11. by   davidmartindale
    No I always offer the patient who is ourmain concern the option of a female nurse should one be available, I generallyfind very few refuse a male if given the option as a courtesy
  12. by   newnurseoldman
    Too all commenting that this is discrimination .. What? ?? Ok here are some reasons why it is not first Discrimination is about what someone thinks about you , female (or male ) modesty is about what they think, feel about themselves. second, how are they harming you? you don't do the cath or peri care, or wipe the butt? POOR you ! some days i wish all my patients would request someone else do that stuff for them. Real issue is, the patient is the customer, and the one in a vulnerable position, make them comfortable, quit worrying about how you feel about it.
  13. by   Sterling-RN
    A good friend of my told me she has a male GYN, and said "Well I just wouldn't feel comfortable with a woman looking at me there." I don't think it's discrimination, it's a comfort issue. And what difference does it make? So long as it's individual choice and not a policy enforced by the facility itself.