Content That JW2011 Likes

Content That JW2011 Likes

JW2011 779 Views

Joined Oct 11, '12. Posts: 18 (6% Liked) Likes: 1

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  • Oct 28 '12

    Quote from Ruas61
    Not every accident is the motor vehicle driver's fault, bikes and pediatricians are more vulnerable but they due make errors or take actions that put them at risk for harm. Every accident site needs to be looked at individually.
    You are right in every point that you make, Ruas61, however, I do not think fault is an issue in terms of the ethical question. If we are involved in an accident, regardless of who's fault it is, we should offer what aid we can safely and responsibly provide. And, as you point out, every accident scene does need to be assessed individually, and the healthcare provider on scene has to make a careful decission about what her ethical duties are in that specific incident. One size does not fit all.

  • Oct 21 '12

    No apology, necessary....it was a gentle reminder for everyone.

  • Oct 20 '12

    Not every accident is the motor vehicle driver's fault, bikes and pediatricians are more vulnerable but they due make errors or take actions that put them at risk for harm. Every accident site needs to be looked at individually.

  • Oct 20 '12

    I responded before reading all the posts so was unaware of your tragic loss. Just wanted to say how very sorry I am.

  • Oct 19 '12

    This really sounds like you have grounds to press charges yourself. I would consider seeking legal counsel if for no other reason than to stop this from happening again.

  • Oct 19 '12

    If I had caused or been involved in the accident, of course I would be there assisting to the best of my abilities and within the scope of my practice. It would be unethical--as well as a crime--to leave the scene of an accident that I caused.

    If I was not involved in any way whatsoever with the accident, my rendering assistance would be determined based on 1. who was already there; 2. what assistance I could offer; and 3. if stopping to render assistance would in any way jeopardize my own safety.

    To explain #3 better: I was once driving home alone at 2am when I saw a guy lying face down in the grass on the side of the road. I stopped the car but stayed inside, kept the motor running and the doors locked: a female going up to a man on the side of the road at 2am is NOT safe by any stretch of the imagination. I tried to see if he was breathing, if there were obvious injuries...couldn't really tell. When I was calling the police, he got up and walked off. Appeared fine though somewhat under the influence. But even if he appeared worse off than he actually was, there was no way I would approach him without other help present, as doing so alone could have put me in danger. I would have waited until that other help arrived.

    At the very least, I would call 911 no matter what the situation is. And depending on the situation, that's all I may be able to do.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

  • Oct 19 '12

    Quote from JW2011
    Thank you! I am so glad you wrote in. FINALLY, someone who completely gets it. My son was also hit from behind, and we believe her phone distracted her and she crossed the center and hit him as he was traveling in the other lane, against traffic. So much good evidence that should have been acted on and wasn't.
    We get it....we really do. All of us understand your pain but we also know that we cannot possibly speculate exactly what happened and why. What the police did or did not do....we really have no way of making an opinion other than to support you and give you hugs as you try to make sense out of a situation that makes no sense at all.

    You cannot affect the past but you can change the future. Use that energy like I said to afect the laws now. I know of a family that did this, I cared for these injured/deceased teens.......several families lost their teens in a tragic accident that had everything to do with that they had just gotten their license. The fought to change the laws.....and won. The state of MA now has some pretty stiff laws concerning new drivers and they have a Jr.Operator license until they are 18. Accidents involving new drivers have dropped dramatically.

    This energy you have.....use it in a positive manner. Talk to high school kids how the dangers of txting and driving. Get involved in legislation to change laws. You can't change what happened or what this person did........but you can still make a positive impact on the future. Does the rad need better lighting? Could there be a side walk if there is none? Something......for continuing to allow this to eat at you....will eat you alive. Write Dr. Phil anyhow........maybe this person will want 15 min of fame more than her skeletons.

    I wish you peace.

  • Oct 18 '12

    I once witnessed a small truck with 10 people in it roll abour 3 times on an interstate in the desert 50 miles from anywhere. We were the folks behind them. I was, at the time a trained nurse for ER and ICUS I stopped immediatey. There were injuries from scratches to flail chest to nasty head wounds.The guy with the flail chest got me first,he had a head wound as well. I felt as a trained nurse I HAD to stop. It took 20-30 min just for the CHP just to get there and another 15 min for choppers and ambulances to get there. Most of the guys that were in the wreck disappeared into the desert. In the end only 6 went to ER's. I just don't get why a nurse would not stop. As a professional We have the skills to stop if there are no EMS there. ABC's is all it takes,plus helping wth bleeding. Basic care anywhere.
    I have lost a child and I know the horrific pain it causes. God bless you.

  • Oct 18 '12

    Quote from JW2011
    Thank you all for your responses. I do know for a fact that he died alone, that she never touched him, and EMS were significantly delayed in their reponse time due to her inability to relay the needed information, and EMS told me how frustrating it was trying to get that information from her. I guess any thought of instruction on assistance was out of the question.

    I think what has kept me in this "trying to understand" mode is that I really WANT to understand, and WANT to move on from it, but these facts that I have shared, along with the knowledge that there was likely impairment and inattention, and a person that has never uttered "sorry", and in fact lied to our family and to the police in an effort to gain sympathy, proven lies now, but they go to character and came too late to change what law enforcement did or didn't do, and because she has demonstrated that she learned NOTHING, and has continued to drive in a manner that is endangering people's lives. A violation just months after the crash that killed our son, where she was charged and found guilty of negligent driving. Different state, and different cop...

    Loopholes and lack of laws in our state allowed this person to face no legal consequence, and now I am involved in trying to rectify that status, by engaging those in the position to change laws in this effort. I know it won't bring my son back, but hopefully will prevent another family from enduring not only the pain of losing a child, but hopefully hold persons responsible accountable.
    God bless you, lost my 13 year old brother the same way, almost identical, 10 speed vs ford f150, man was drinking at the time, but cops said he was not impaired. Hit my brother from behind, not perpendicularly. At the time, 1979 it was legal to drink and drive in texas, it was called the "open container law", can you believe. This person never apologized to my family either, my parents were crushed and never really recovered. I had to move from San
    Antonio due to my incessant desire to find this man and met out some vigilante justice, over the years i often wonder if this has caused this man any pain or remorse. Im glad I took the high road, but I like you fight daily to understand the lack of compassion on the part of this man, no he was not an RN , but his callousness to this day is disconcerting.

  • Oct 18 '12

    Quote from NurseOnAMotorcycle
    People seem to think that medical professionals are some kind of magic being that can fix everything immediately with a thought. They think we have some kind of connection with the ether that can instantly solve any illness with a benevolent touch of the hand.

    We're not. We have studied extensively to assess what's going on through sight, touch, smell, lab results, radiology scans, etc to use the equipment (Ivs, cardiac monitors, medication, etc) to help a patient over time.

    We don't always HAVE time. Or equipment. Sometimes moving someone is worse than leaving them. Sometimes all we can do is protect someone from traffic and call for help (911).

    This is a very sad story from any point of view. I wish we were magic so we could make it better always.

    No excuse , should have done something to stop the blood flow, no one said anything about moving the victim, magic has nothing to do with it

  • Oct 18 '12

    Quote from 8mpg
    My simple answer is... if you dont know what you are doing, dont do anything
    All RNs have knowledge of basic life support, cpr, and first aid. Simple pressure to a wound would have stopped or at least slowed the blood flow, no excuse for this at all. I understand shock might be a factor but if you caused the accident, and your an RN and you have no reason to feel guilty (liquor / drugs) then you have to respond to the scene in some fashion. I hope this young man did not die simply from lack of basic first aid, that just compounds the RNs behavior

  • Oct 18 '12

    Not to defend the RN who struck your son, but I would like to relay my expearences. I am a nurse and an EMT. I have answered over 600 emergency calls. Both times I have been involved in accidents, I have not been able to perfectly relay my location. Accidents are very disorientating, and even Uninjured parties can be in shock. I was in the ambulance when a vehicle crossed the double yellow and struck us. I have very little memory of what happened after the accident. I know I was wondering around the scene, Uninjured but confused. I didn't even have a head Injury, I was simpily in shock. I have listened to the tapes of me on the radio giving incorrect location and requesting a single bls ambulance. Thank God for the fire captan who was following us to the call, she was relaying correct information and asked for the four ambulances that were required. I know you blame the nurse for not acting, but I urge you to consider that even trained individuals may not proform to the level you expect, and leagally mandating nurses to proform skills they are not trained in, or due to circumstances cannot proform may cause more harm then good. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, and I cannot tell you what to do with your feelings against this woman. I can only relay my expearence and hope it gives some perspective.

  • Oct 18 '12

    Quote from JW2011
    Well, you know, I think that is why I am having such a hard time with what she didn't do, as I know there is no way, particularly if I knew I was in anyway responsible that I wouldn't do whatever I could. I am a GNA that has worked with Hospice patients, private duty mostly, and don't claim to know anywhere near what most here do, but my experiences, particulary in seeing death and dying in that field, would have helped me to keep my calm in this situation. I know I could have checked for a pulse or breathing without having to move him. In her job, she has that experience and more on an RN level. Even without that, I know I would have been on my knees in prayer while calling 911, and would have laid hands on him to at least pray.

    Do you think that the EMS operator would have asked her to check his vitals if she had been able to calm herself? I didn't think to ask them that.
    Why not write her a letter. Even if you don't send it. It might help you to get it all out of your soul and on paper. I am not defending her behavio..... but one thing that nursing has taught me is that you never know what someones personal burdens are that cause one behavior over the next. The the truth is always stranger than fiction......and the only predicable thing about humans is that humans are unpredictable.

    I have seen seasoned Firefighters, Police, EMT's, nurses absolutely freak out/freeze/breakdown become incapacitated by some extreme horror in front of them. They may have been doing the job for years and years and seen horrible things the that one thing at that one moment..... the stars align......and they freeze, breakdown, panic. Even when you are exposed to these things on a regular basis...you just pray every time that you have the strength to do it again.

    I have done search and rescue.....I have seen some terrible things. I remember on one occasion my seasoned highly trained dog refused to get out of the car. She took one look outside and retreated. It took me several minutes and allowing her to recoup, take in the scene.....for the actual reason for the disaster was man made......before she dercided to come with me. I actually think she decide to search because she feared for me and not the love of the search.....for the first time EVER she hesitated. I was stunned....and forthe first time....she was afraid.

    You just don't know. I don't know what your sons injuries were but there are injuries that just cannot be survived. I am not so sure even if she took a pulse there would be any change in the outcome for your son. There is no way on a dark road vitals can be taken. Even if she had.....that doesn't change the injuries that were fatal. Maybe she doesn't know how to pray.

    You deserve an apology....you really do. From the bottom of my heart I wish I could make her face you. This may sound crazy.......call Dr. Phil. Write him a letter. See if he can her you get the closure that you need. See if he can arrange a meeting with her so you can let her "know your anguish" so you can move on........he has done it before. But at least write him .....he maybe able to help.

    Again, you have my heartfelt sympathies. Your pain is palpable........I wish you peace.

  • Oct 17 '12

    IMO I couldn't live with myself if I didn't stop. I am not judging others either. This is just me. I took an oath to unselfishly help others and that applies to my personal life as well as professional. OP....I am sorry that she/he didn't do the right thing & I am sorry for what you & your family are going thru at this time.

  • Oct 17 '12

    JW, I am deeply ashamed of my flippant and irrelevant responses to your post. I had no idea that you were referring to such a heart breaking personal tragedy. If I had, I would not have posted the comments that I did. Please forgive my inappropriate tone, used in ignorance. God bless you and your family.


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