Content That mercurysmom Likes

Content That mercurysmom Likes

mercurysmom 4,793 Views

Joined Jul 25, '11. Posts: 155 (71% Liked) Likes: 505

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  • Jul 25

    It's a recurring theme because some posters do not know that 'nurse' is a legally protected title and some do not read allnurses terms of service before agreeing to them.

  • Jul 23

    Yes, you are blowing it out of proportion. When he is referring to "My" nurse, he is referring to a nurse that is employed by him (his practice). How would you interpret this sentence in a social situation. "I don't know the answer. You should ask my friend Bill". Is the person considering his friend Bill as a piece of property because he used the word "my"?

  • Jul 23

    So, your friend expected you rescue her at the 11th hour? Finals week is not the time to make up for a semester's worth of poor studying. Frankly, I doubt you could have "saved her," even if you dedicated your entire finals week to the task (which would have been ill-advised). She isn't going to learn in a day or two what she has failed to learn all semester.

    OP, your friend and her cheerleaders in your family and friends can't expect you to get her through school. What are you going to do? Hold her hand through all of undergrad? Take her courses in PT school? Are you going to be with her every day in her PT practice, making sure she treats patients correctly? Sorry, but she's got to stand or fall on her own two feet.

    If she thinks she has ADD, she should get evaluated; she isn't qualified to self-diagnose. But don't let her use that to make you feel guilty for not rescuing her during finals.

  • Jul 23

    Quote from Clara38
    Yes its called time management. In Nursing specially at the hospital what will you do if a patient not someone you know needs your help as you walk past the room to go home.

    Pt was not yours. Morning shift is there. You have an appt or kids to get to school.
    Will you walk pass the blinking light and a pt calling you come? Fyi its never 5 min . You go expect a 45 min or less.

    what will you do?


    An RN that is not self consumed or selfish will enter the room to make sure its not an emergency then get someone else to help or the Nurse will just do it.

    When we are on duty, we are being paid to see to the needs of not only our own patients, but to the unit as a whole. We are expected to help our patients, our coworkers, and visitors to our units, to be sure. Emphasis on the fact that a)we are BEING PAID and b)it's usually in our JOB DESCRIPTION.

    The OP is a student and is not required to put her own educational and study needs aside to do someone else's work for them, provide intense tutoring (read her notes to her and ask her every few sentences if she understands them? REALLY?!?) in subjects the OP is not even studying. Being a true friend does NOT mean that one needs to take responsibility for another person's education. It is not her obligation to become the compensating mechanism for another person's anxiety or disability. It does not make her "selfish" if she is not capable of managing her own degree and being an on demand tutor for another person's education.

    Sheesh.

  • Jul 23

    Quote from Clara38
    Yes its called time management. In Nursing specially at the hospital what will you do if a patient not someone you know needs your help as you walk past the room to go home.

    Pt was not yours. Morning shift is there. You have an appt or kids to get to school.
    Will you walk pass the blinking light and a pt calling you come? Fyi its never 5 min . You go expect a 45 min or less.

    what will you do?


    An RN that is not self consumed or selfish will enter the room to make sure its not an emergency then get someone else to help or the Nurse will just do it. Pt wants to go to bathroom, walks slow, etc


    life is full of situations that are unexpected and not planned.

    You stated i showed her how to study smartly??

    have you considered that maybe what she needs is just to take an hr. ReAd the notes to her slowly as she reads with you. Ask her did you understand that and do that every 2 to 3 sentences.

    Honestly, yes you have to study but if your work ethics reflects your current actions please do some soul searching. Nursing specially on the floor is about being a team. Those that decide to be loners make the floor a nightmare and horrible for all. The word is Team.

    If you arent married, nor have kids please make time for someone you call your friend. Right now you turned your back on a person with a disability. You are in school. Learn to help all types of people. The world outside school is composed of some people who know absolutely nothing in terms of medicine. Some are so elderly they cant hear yet you the RN need to do your duty and teach the patient what they need before discharge. Also the deaf, non-English speaking, all ages.

    Please review and think hard of your actions. You are becoming an RN. Yes u need boundaries but that doesnt mean ignore.

    If you feel you are to busy to help your friend have you at least asked someone that may say yes, called disability office, asked anyone to see if u can at least find her options.

    doing nothing and ignoring someone that asks for your help is not what an RN was supposed be like.

    take care
    You have got to be kidding.

    I'm sorry, but I could not disagree more with this post. The OP has taken time to try to help her friend. But she cannot DO IT FOR HER.

  • Jul 23

    Quote from Clara38
    Yes its called time management. In Nursing specially at the hospital what will you do if a patient not someone you know needs your help as you walk past the room to go home.

    Pt was not yours. Morning shift is there. You have an appt or kids to get to school.
    Will you walk pass the blinking light and a pt calling you come? Fyi its never 5 min . You go expect a 45 min or less.

    what will you do?


    An RN that is not self consumed or selfish will enter the room to make sure its not an emergency then get someone else to help or the Nurse will just do it. Pt wants to go to bathroom, walks slow, etc


    life is full of situations that are unexpected and not planned.

    You stated i showed her how to study smartly??

    have you considered that maybe what she needs is just to take an hr. ReAd the notes to her slowly as she reads with you. Ask her did you understand that and do that every 2 to 3 sentences.

    Honestly, yes you have to study but if your work ethics reflects your current actions please do some soul searching. Nursing specially on the floor is about being a team. Those that decide to be loners make the floor a nightmare and horrible for all. The word is Team.

    If you arent married, nor have kids please make time for someone you call your friend. Right now you turned your back on a person with a disability. You are in school. Learn to help all types of people. The world outside school is composed of some people who know absolutely nothing in terms of medicine. Some are so elderly they cant hear yet you the RN need to do your duty and teach the patient what they need before discharge. Also the deaf, non-English speaking, all ages.

    Please review and think hard of your actions. You are becoming an RN. Yes u need boundaries but that doesnt mean ignore.

    If you feel you are to busy to help your friend have you at least asked someone that may say yes, called disability office, asked anyone to see if u can at least find her options.

    doing nothing and ignoring someone that asks for your help is not what an RN was supposed be like.

    take care
    No, just no. This is so wrong on so many levels. If you can't see that the OP's friend was trying to use & abuse the OP, you are blind. The OP helped her friend but it wasn't enough. The OP is taking her own classes & her friend expects her to drop everything to help her. Also the friend has taken NO responsibility for her own TWO previous failures. Why should someone go out of their way, bend over backwards to help someone when obviously the help isn't wanted. If the OP helped her friend once, but nothing changed, why should she waste any more of her time? I sure as hell wouldn't.
    I had a "friend" I met in nursing school & I took A&P with her. She would never do any of her own work, she would come to class late & text on her phone during class. When this class (which was taken during the summer) was almost over, she asked to copy MY extra credit that I did all by MYSELF. Why should she benefit from MY hard work? I busted my butt to do all the homework in class PLUS the extra credit. Why should the OP help her friend if she won't be an adult about it.
    By the way, that is not how a good nurse is. That is how you get railroaded by a patient & taken advantage of. It is time to grow thick skin & sometimes you have to tell patient's no. This is a perfect example.
    Your post implies that the friend has some severe limitations, not the case. The friend has ADD. I'm not saying it can't make life hard but I passed nursing school with undiagnosed bipolar disorder & the friend can pass her pre reqs. Obviously the friend is just lazy & wants other people to do her work.
    I would never consider the OP as a bad nurse. There are times where we must be firm with our patients. If not, you will get taken advantage of constantly & burn out very fast.
    I think you should reread the OP. Because you missed the mark by a long shot.

  • Jul 23

    Quote from Clara38
    Yes its called time management. In Nursing specially at the hospital what will you do if a patient not someone you know needs your help as you walk past the room to go home.

    Pt was not yours. Morning shift is there. You have an appt or kids to get to school.
    Will you walk pass the blinking light and a pt calling you come? Fyi its never 5 min . You go expect a 45 min or less.

    what will you do?


    An RN that is not self consumed or selfish will enter the room to make sure its not an emergency then get someone else to help or the Nurse will just do it. Pt wants to go to bathroom, walks slow, etc


    life is full of situations that are unexpected and not planned.

    You stated i showed her how to study smartly??

    have you considered that maybe what she needs is just to take an hr. ReAd the notes to her slowly as she reads with you. Ask her did you understand that and do that every 2 to 3 sentences.

    Honestly, yes you have to study but if your work ethics reflects your current actions please do some soul searching. Nursing specially on the floor is about being a team. Those that decide to be loners make the floor a nightmare and horrible for all. The word is Team.

    If you arent married, nor have kids please make time for someone you call your friend. Right now you turned your back on a person with a disability. You are in school. Learn to help all types of people. The world outside school is composed of some people who know absolutely nothing in terms of medicine. Some are so elderly they cant hear yet you the RN need to do your duty and teach the patient what they need before discharge. Also the deaf, non-English speaking, all ages.

    Please review and think hard of your actions. You are becoming an RN. Yes u need boundaries but that doesnt mean ignore.

    If you feel you are to busy to help your friend have you at least asked someone that may say yes, called disability office, asked anyone to see if u can at least find her options.

    doing nothing and ignoring someone that asks for your help is not what an RN was supposed be like.

    take care
    Except that she isn't being paid to be at her friends every beck and call. A friend who has ADD, not autism. She isnt helpless in the way that you are implying. I have ADD and get my own help when I need it. Also, by fixating on her friends needs, that's time wasted that should have been applied towards her own studies.

  • Jul 22

    I think you have more than set appropriate boundaries. Your friend is manipulative.

    Don't let others guilt you into not acting in your best interests. You have done enough and more than met your friend half way. Now its her turn to do what she needs to do for herself.

    It's not your job to fix her.

  • Jul 22

    I agree with everyone that has posted! Your 1st (& really only) responsibility is to yourself.

    To alleviate your guilt- imagine the situation in reverse- if you were having difficulty with a class - during finals, no less- would she drop everything to come help you? Probably not.

    It sounds like y'all have developed this pattern over years and it's time to break it before your work suffers. You need the best GPA you can get to be accepted into a nursing program & you'll be kicking yourself when time comes to apply if you let your grades slide now.

    If you've given her tips on studying that she's not taken, that's on her. If there was help available to her earlier in semester she didn't make use of, that's on her. It sounds like she wants you to do it for her- not just help.

    And be prepared, she will blame you if she makes bad grades/doesn't pass. If she's not taking responsibility for studying/learning material- then the result certainly can't be her fault, right?

    And shame on your family for making you feel one ounce of guilt for taking care of your own future!! Are your parents helping with tuition? You might want to mention how irresponsible it would be to waste their money not doing as well in your classes just to help your friend!!

  • Jul 21

    I had a patient who was terminal. She was scheduled to go to a nursing home. She said "I'm not going". Well the ambulance showed up to transport her and she died that very moment. I guess she REALLY did not want to go.

  • Jul 21

    Be careful. When you meet her in the morning be very firm about leaving on time for your study group. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated into staying over or skipping your own study.

  • Jul 21

    First off, I'm glad to hear you are recovering well!

    I'll tell you, I didn't have *it* while a student either. I hadn't the slightest clue what to say to someone in a difficult situation. I worked as a CNA in LTC, and residents frequently mourned their loss of independence, and I would draw a blank. I wanted to help them feel better, but didn't know how.

    Now nearly 20 yrs after those first awkward years (I got my CNA as a senior in high school), I talk to families and support them through horribly difficult situations. I even support them in transitioning from ICU care to comfort care and death -- with no MD in the room, often with no chaplain in the room.

    I'll let you in on a secret -- I'm not as unshakable as I come across. I can put on a strong face, but on occasion I have gone into the BR for a 30 second cry.

    You'll get it! It just takes time and experience.

  • Jul 15

    He was dead when you started. You did not fail him, CPR wasn't enough to restart his heart. While you are curious; the why is irrelevant. The family may not consent to an autopsy depending on his history.

    You saw a problem and you tried to help. You FIRST asked if 911 was called which was the most important step as clearly he needed more than CPR.

    Since this was not a professional relationship but Good Samaritan watch for the obituary to be posted. If the services are public, feel free to seek closure by offering your condolences to the family. Don't say I'm sorry my CPR didn't work it's likely the aunt & grandmother will identify & introduce you. Without knowing the history, it's likely the parents will be thankful you tried to help.

    If the services are private, then you can send your condolences via the funeral home. Tell the funeral director that if the parents wish to contact you they may this way it's on the parents terms not your need for closure. I've seen traumatic pediatric deaths go both ways. Open/public services and closed/private services. It's impossible to predict.

  • Jul 14

    You GAVE it your money - voluntarily. Nothing was 'taken' from you.

  • Jul 12

    You need to stop this...like yesterday. Report this immediately to HR. Immediately!!!! Not only is it illegal but he is in a position of authority over you. If you rebuff him you may very well lose your job or worse. You are not overreacting. Yes, we've all told an off-color joke from time to time or the occasional double-entendre but he has laid his hands on you and that takes it to a whole 'nother level. Report him! NOW!


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