Content That MAtoBSN Likes

Content That MAtoBSN Likes

MAtoBSN, BSN 3,193 Views

Joined Apr 14, '11 - from 'PA'. MAtoBSN is a RN Staff Nurse - Ortho/Spine Med/Tele Unit. She has '17' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'Ortho/Spine, Telemetry, SNF/Rehab'. Posts: 94 (22% Liked) Likes: 39

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  • Jul 23

    Quote from MjHudd
    And now, 6 days later, I can't seem to let this go. I think about it constantly and wonder if I could've done more or done something differently. I really want to reach out to his family but I'm not sure if I should. I would like to know if there was an underlying cause of death that was beyond my control. I want to know if his sister is ok and the other 2 boys that were there. I would like to meet his mother and father since they weren't at the scene and tell them how sorry I am that I couldn't save their baby.... I just want to be at peace with this but I don't know how.
    All of your feelings are normal responses to what you have been through. When we have events like this in the hospital we have a process in place to give the involved staff members an opportunity to de-stress called a Critical Incident Stress De-Briefing (CISD). As a private citizen I encourage you to utilize your employer's EAP program and do it soon. This is not something that should be put off as there are frequently unexpected consequences when a person suffers an emotional trauma such as this. The EAP staff can help you process what happened and make good choices to take care of yourself. I can't stress enough how important it is for you to do this.

    As far as contacting the family. At this point, as much as you'd like to, this is not a good idea. For either of you. If the family wants contact with you they will reach out. Until then it's best to just stay out of their grief for the time being and deal with your own emotions.

  • Jul 23

    I don't have any words of wisdom, just want to extend my sympathy, it would so hard to shake such an experience.

    Even though he couldn't be saved, you did ease some of the shock and trauma for the family by taking over and not leaving them completely helpless for the longest 15 minutes of their lives.

  • Jul 23

    Quote from NOADLS
    Work in a setting where you don't have to lift patients. Not every nurse has to lift patients. The last time I lifted a patient was years ago.
    yes this is true but she still has to get through 2 years of clinical assignments in nursing school and I don't remember getting cut any slack when it came to grunt work as a student!

  • Jul 23

    Basically any kind of physical labor you can think of, nurses do it.

  • Jul 23

    What's the rudest thing that's been said to me by a patient or family?

    A patient called me a black ___ (rhymes with 'witch,' but starts with 'B') and told me to "go back to Africa." I told him I was born and raised in the US, as well as the preceding six generations of my family.

    I also ended the interaction and turned his care over to another nurse who belonged to the same racial group as him. Life is too short to deal with people who stereotype me and do not want me around.

  • Jul 23

    You should nip it right now before his words turn to actions. From what Ive seen on my floor, I frequently hear female nurses vent and gripe about how uncomfortable it is to deal with a sexual aggressive patient. We had on man with frontotemporal dementia r/t strokes; who always seem to forget that he grabbed several nurses behinds over the past few weeks. First the nurses laughed it off, then they got uncomfortable.
    Then they would ask me to go in with them, I finally said, look, you don't have to deal with this and assert yourself. Patients who make the environment uncomfortable can be told I will come back later once you are calm. If they continue with that behavior then it can be classified as refusal of care ( In NYS) and the nurse doesn't have to provide treatment.
    Just saying, you don't have to put up with this.

  • Jul 23

    I had an A&O patient purposely pee on himself and tell me (19 years old) "Now you have to touch it to clean me up" with a disgusting wink. I handed him some towels and a basin and told him to clean up or sit in it. I've walked out with treatments/meds or whatever when a LTC resident would say lewd comments. "That is inappropriate and I will be back after you can treat me respectfully" and walk out. Worked every time and the comments were stopped. Now if it's someone who is confused it's a different story and you need someone there with you if possible.

    If you wouldn't take it from some random dude on the street, don't take it from your patients/residents.

  • Jul 23

    If you feel uncomfortable talking to him directly, talk to your DON or administrator. When I worked in LTC I had a similar issue with a patient and I am very non-confrontational and felt really awkward bringing it up to the patient directly. I told my supervisor, and it turns out that the patient had made comments to several other nurses and CNAs as well, and was approached by the administrator who told him how unacceptable that behavior was. Definitely say something soon or the behavior may escalate even further.

  • Jul 23

    I hate that others have made crude remarks about you not nipping it in the butt. As a nurse you expect to provide care and compassion and I'm sure you have dealt with difficult patients successfully. I too have recently encountered a situation in which the patient made inappropriate comments. I told other workers and the supervisor and refused to go into this man's room alone. It is not easy to just "nip it in the butt". I tried to laugh it off and the patient even laughed at me and told me I turned all red. I explained that his comment was unexpected and I was embarrassed. I went home in a very unsettled mood.

  • Jul 23

    Everyone above is right. Tell him very firmly that his comments are totally inappropriate, make you uncomfortable and will not be tolerated. This is an alert and oriented individual, only in his sixties, not a completely demented person you're talking about. Don't smile, laugh or give any other indication that his comments are in any way okay.

    Also agree with having someone in the room with you. Another nurse, a CNA, just someone to be present.

  • Jul 23

    Wait...you honestly thought of saying there were enough cute young nurse's aides for him to ogle? Even if you meant it in a joking manner, that would have been totally inappropriate; thank goodness you didn't say it.

    You need to shut this down right away. The next time you have to take care of him, if he makes another inappropriate remark tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not appreciate it and he needs to stop it immediately. I would let my supervisor know as well, because it's highly likely that he is being lewd toward your younger colleagues.

    Some of this has to do with power. Your patient is in a situation where he can't function independently. Being sexually provocative gives him a feeling of power, because most likely he can sense your discomfort. You have to take that power back by letting him know that sort of behavior will not be tolerated. He's not a demented 90 year old man; he is plenty young enough to straighten up. If he continues to make sexual remarks or his behavior escalates, you may need to suggest a psych. consult to his doc.

    And maybe you should check to make sure your scrub top isn't too revealing; if you bend over in front of a mirror and can see "the girls" then you need to wear a t-shirt under your top or get new scrub tops.

  • Jul 23

    Sorry to be blunt, but that behavior is disgusting, and from your post it sounds like you haven't really made that clear to your patient. You need to put a stop to his behavior immediately, not just awkwardly laugh it off. It sounds like he doesn't get how inappropriate he is and how uncomfortable it makes you. Now, if he continues AFTER you draw the line, that is one thing, but you haven't really drawn that line yet...

    Agree that it would be wildly inappropriate to suggest he go after your colleagues.

    I would like to suggest that you bring a chaperone with you in the future. Also to protect you if things kind of go "sour" between you (since this relationship is not very therapeutic anyway) and he start making claims that you were coming on to him, etc.

  • Jul 23

    Why didn't you nip that in the bud with the first comment? I had an older man say he was going to grab my breast and I said if you do that is considered assault and I have no problems with pressing charges.

    I have large breast so I always wear a t-shirt under my scrub top so no one can get a look. I also had another patient ask why do I wear a t-shirt? I said because I want to. He said he always sees the other nurses breast and he would love to see mine because they are bigger. I quickly told him that is inappropriate and I will not tolerate that behavior from him and he will not talk to me or any other nurse at this hospital ever again in this manner. You can't let people get away with that.

    I know we are customer service oriented but you have to draw the line. You should tell him that is not appropriate and ask him to stop. And please don't suggest he look at someone else's breast. Why put someone else through what you are going through.

    And some advice. Wear a t-shirt under your scrubs so he won't get a peep show.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

  • Jul 23

    Quote from ksm23
    Ive only been an rn for 3 months but feel like im constantly having weird sexual comments said to me.
    I know it happens to most of thr girls on my unit but idk how to respond to it.
    You've made a subjective-conditional statement, followed be a declarative. First, you need to define, for yourself, whether the comments are inappropriate or not. If you do in fact "know" it happens, then it may be a cultural issue, in that your co-workers are intentionally or unintentionally flirting with the pts, or they are unable to properly define interpersonal boundaries.

    In either case, the previous posts are good advice.

    For egregious offenders, I have assisted my female counterparts with urinary cath procedures ("adequate" lubricant is such a subjective assessment), or obtained sterile water(vs NS) for IM injection solutions.

  • Jul 23

    Set limits. Tell them, "I'll return to your room when you're ready to behave properly, but I will not tolerate mistreatment." Then leave. Return to the unruly patient's room in a few minutes to see if any behaviors have been modified.


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