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PrisonrNurs 1,938 Views

Joined Apr 25, '04. Posts: 36 (31% Liked) Likes: 33

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  • Dec 17 '15

    OK here's another one that got the ER roaring. I had a patient come in (the second time) with abdominal pain. He was driven in by a friend. Both are big burly roughnecks. The friend came in to visit and asked me if we knew what was wrong. He jokingly said "he must be in labor!" I said yeah, that could be, and then asked him if he was the father. Before he could answer I told "you can help with the delivery! You stand here [at the foot of the bed] while I run and get a catcher's mitt for you, and whatever you do, don't drop the baby when he jumps out!" It got a good chuckle out of everyone. He then said "ummm, I think we got a problem here." To that I replied, "I know what you're thinking. No need to worry. Once the hormones kick in, he'll have boobs the size of Utah!!" THAT'S when the whole ER, patients and all, were roaring!

  • Dec 17 '15

    Every once in a while an inmate who is a patient in our ER threatens to "call my lawyer!" if he doesn't get what he wants, like morphine instead of Toradol. To his lawyer threat I say, "The same lawyer who tried to keep you out of jail?" It works every time.