PrisonrNurs 1,938 Views
Joined Apr 25, '04.
Posts: 36 (31% Liked)
OK here's another one that got the ER roaring. I had a patient come in (the second time) with abdominal pain. He was driven in by a friend. Both are big burly roughnecks. The friend came in to visit and asked me if we knew what was wrong. He jokingly said "he must be in labor!" I said yeah, that could be, and then asked him if he was the father. Before he could answer I told "you can help with the delivery! You stand here [at the foot of the bed] while I run and get a catcher's mitt for you, and whatever you do, don't drop the baby when he jumps out!" It got a good chuckle out of everyone. He then said "ummm, I think we got a problem here." To that I replied, "I know what you're thinking. No need to worry. Once the hormones kick in, he'll have boobs the size of Utah!!" THAT'S when the whole ER, patients and all, were roaring!
Every once in a while an inmate who is a patient in our ER threatens to "call my lawyer!" if he doesn't get what he wants, like morphine instead of Toradol. To his lawyer threat I say, "The same lawyer who tried to keep you out of jail?" It works every time.
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