Latest Comments by danceswithsnakes

danceswithsnakes 2,605 Views

Joined Mar 2, '10. Posts: 37 (22% Liked) Likes: 14

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    No offense to anyone in their 50's (we are all heading that way, after all) but I'm 35. I think of wearing dowdy, stuffy black pantsuits or pants at all (I like dresses) or even black business skirts and I become very depressed, it's not me at all. Tne truth is, I will likely be at this job another year or until I finish nurse practitioner school. I'm not jockeying for a position.

    I do have low self esteem but being expected to dress like that will only make it worse. Maybe it's tacky, but my sense of style is a little eccentric. I take full responsibility for being a slob, my uniforms were stained. I can't even eat without looking like I used my chest for a table. My hairdo consisted of a ponytail. That said, we have many rather downright unattractive people (including a very overweight woman in her late 60's) and they never say anything to her. They also never say anything to the 50 year old woman in baby doll dresses. But they singled me out. Again, I don't deny looking like a slob, but we have people here who are FAR from the catwalk.

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    I don't like flats, they make me look even frumpier. I've been told I'm "all boobs" so there will be no getting around that. I did find a large enough bra that supports me well and makes me look thinner. But the shoes, I like platform high heels...

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    I recently was having a meeting with my immediate boss and the administrator over another issue. Not only did I not resolve the issue (though I know why) my appearance was also brought up. I'm tired of totally boring and unstimulating tasks I'm being given to do (QA junk, mostly) so I petitioned to be put on the floor with a med cart. I was told that would be fine if I wanted to work for LPN wages. Then, they pointed to my scrubs and messy hair and told me I was part of administration and needed to look more professional and like I have more self-esteem.

    I'm sensitive about my looks anyway, so I just wanted to melt into the ground. I've gone out and bought some (expensive) dresses (Lane Bryant, Dillards, etc.) I tried on some regular pumps but thought they made me look too frumpy so I found these rather odd-looking platform high heels (Lady Ga Ga.) I'm sensitive about my weight, but if I've got to spend good money on clothes I want something I like (yes, I liked the Lady Ga Ga shoes.) Do you think this will go over well? I know we have one who is 50 yrs. old and wears baby doll dresses...what do you think is appropriate for nursing administration to wear if they don't wear scrubs?

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    I brought some pictures of my snake (Nanook) to work and showed them around. One nurse said it wouldn't bother her a bit, another nurse said she would like make a new opening in the building in the shape of a person, I got several "hmm...s", and one CNA ran to the DON and said "I need to talk to you in your office NOW!!!" Upon pressing my ear to the door I was able to make out "and she has these pictures she's showing around...!!!!!"

    I have also since learned I will likely be having my office moved to the basement. Maybe it will work out after all. I would love to set up my terrarium and since I spend most of the days of the week at work, the snake could live with me, in the basement...

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    sharpeimom and TDCHIM like this.

    Quote from TDCHIM
    No way. Think about the impact on others! There are a lot of people who are nervous around snakes or have actual snake phobias. So you'd be making it awfully difficult for anyone who has such an issue to walk into your office (i.e., co-workers, cleaning staff). I can tell you right now, I'd be spooked, and I'm not terribly nervous around snakes.

    Plus, given their propensity for escaping, do you really think that's a wise idea in such a facility?
    As I read this a mischievious grin spread across the face of my alter-ego.

    Bad! Bad! Bad! Smack! Smack! Smack!

    I think it will be a no go once it gets to the administrator for approval. I guess I can still have pictures. I do have a tame and friendly bunny. May be a better idea.

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    Yes, he would be in a tank. I have a beautiful terrarium and It would fit perfectly next to my computer. I would like to keep him here. I don't handle him very often but he has never stricken out or bitten. I think ball pythons are magnificent creatures. I've talked to some of the patients and some are actually very interested in seeing Nanook. Most people freak out when I mention it. May be a good deterrant for people I'd rather stay away.

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    I would like to liven up my office, which is located at a LTC facility. Another office worker sometimes brings her little dog to work and it stays in her office. I happen to like all animals and am especially fond of reptiles, but people shreek when I mention bringing my ball python to keep me company as I patter away on the computer and call families and doctors.

    Do you know anyone who has office pets? I know some facilities probably have strict regulations about animals, but if one person could bring their puppy why couldn't another bring their fish aquarium, snake or other pet?

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    Becoming a doctor is 100x more difficult than becoming a nurse, which is why I'm a nurse and not a doctor, but that still shouldn't mean that a nurse's job is somehow less important. I'm proud to be a nurse, and no one will ever take that away from me.

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    I worked 10 yrs. in a nursing home and decided I wanted a change. I kept hearing that being a LTC nurse had held me back, made me undesireable. I landed a job at a small hospital and I can tell you, aside from starting IV's and pushing certain IV meds, there was nothing I was unfamiliar with and my LTC experience I was right at home on the med surg unit.

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    Quote from wooh
    True, you didn't start that thread. But I can see where the confusion may have happened, as apparently you're another victim of beauty:
    Yet you conveniently omitted the rest of my post on that...

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    Quote from Jules A
    Nice way to talk about a co-worker.
    It's much, much nicer (and more truthful) than what she has said about me.

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    Um...I didn't start this thread. Or are you trying to make another point, argument, etc.?

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    I don't know who read I accused a whole unit of people bullying me and where, but that has not happened...must be some misunderstanding.

    To (attempt to) make a long story short, this is a pattern of behavior with this person, not just an incidence of a personality clash. She is very good at inserting herself into all the goings on in the facility to give the appearance of a workaholic, yet a look at her actual work (and lack of finishing tasks) reveals an incompetent individual who is not willing (or able) to learn. She loves being the center of attention, and wears gaudy jewlry and inappropriate clothing. She fancies herself to be upper management and befriends underlings long enough to get what she wants from them before she drops them cold. She is pathetic, and everyone who has been around long enough knows how petty and full of gossip she is. Everyone knows, but it seems no one is ever willing to call her on it. My attempt at a meeting with the DON and this gossip was denied. She took it upon herself to monitor me and decide I was not doing my work, and when I found out she was running around (to everyone but me) talking about how I was not doing my job I confronted her. First of all, there is nothing in her job description that puts her as a supervisor and second, if anyone supervises anyone else I supervise her, as I outrank her. I told the DON about this and he didn't believe me, even after the ADON confirmed it (as she was one of the ones who had received the "observation") he acted like he was in denial. From there it has gone downhill. I was called into the DON's office and asked about a very personal issue this gossiper had accused me of doing and that was it. The DON refused to tell me where this accusation came from but the ADON told me and it has hit the fan now. She's a nasty twit of a sociopath.

  • 0

    Right now, I'd rather be right. I have more to lose than my job. My child is in a wonderful daycare and any other job I would find would make me have to uproot everything, including my seniority.

    I do want this bully (and if need be) the DON exposed. One thing I have on my side is upper management. They are very supportive of me and have bent over backwards to see I have had a job there. That said, I don't want the bully or DON to lose their jobs. I'm not evil like that. I do want to reach an understanding, that I will not tolerate petty gossip and backstabbing meant to destroy me.

    To me, happiness will be exposing them. They are sick, twisted, co-dependent animals.

  • 0

    I am being targeted by a bully at work, who has been nit-picking, spreading malicious gossip and trying to isolate me and make life hell. I have done nothing to deserve this behavior, and it makes me angry, to the point of going from an eager and positive employee to neurotic, negative and moody. What's worse, is that the DON (who is not very bright) has been hoodwinked into believing this bully is the hardest working workaholic there, in spite of her work history revealing the opposite. Still, the DON supports the bully while choosing to snub me.

    While the DON is my immediate supervisor, there are people above him who are supportive of me. I also know that the DON is very hesitant to "fire" anyone out of fear they may be able to obtain unemployment or stir up some type of legal situation against him or the company.

    I asked the DON for a meeting between me and the bully with his presence to address the issue but he refused. In my anger, I announced I would be looking for another job. I woke up today, however, and thought of all I had to lose. I don't *want* another job, but I want the DON to know that I understand what is going on and I won't go down without a fight.

    The ADON, who is very smart, does see and acknowledge what is going on. I shared a valuable website with her about workplace bullying. I've copied information from the site and I want to have a personal 15 or 20 minute meeting with the DON and the ADON to address this issue which is causing me stress-related health problems. I want to at least know I have attempted to open his eyes and show him I am enlightened, even if he chooses not to be. I also want to inform him I plan to go nowhere. I've highlighted areas that describe my situation exactly to add impact and help me express myself. The ADON is very outspoken and I know she would be good to help represent me.

    Does this seem like a step in the right direction? I don't feel compelled to tuck my tail between my legs and run just to keep the peace. I'm willing to go to battle, as I've done nothing to deserve this treatment and injustice infuriates me. It's gotten to the point where people stop talking when I walk by and some of the things said that have leaked out are very embarrassing. And I'm sure that is the tip of the iceberg. I walked into the front office (that connects all the other offices) and the dopey PTA was coming out of the bully's office and when she saw me stepped back in and said, "Your BFF is up here."

    This place is brutal, but I don't know why I should leave when I've done nothing to deserve it. Before it was me it was another woman who left. I'm sure after I'm gone I will have many successors, but I don't feel I should go down without a fight.

    Opinions and suggestions, please.


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