Content That LaneyB Likes

LaneyB 5,992 Views

Joined Dec 9, '08. Posts: 300 (67% Liked) Likes: 692

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  • Nov 7


    OP writes long post that can be summarized in a sentence: "Don't be a jerk, ya jerks!"

    Random strangers who don't like being called jerks, call out the bad attitude.

    OP uses self-generated negativity to fuel confirmation bias and validate hurt feelings.

    Hilarity ensues.

  • Sep 26

    Quote from TheCommuter
    As a black female, I have dealt with overt and covert racism from patients multiple times over the years. In the last overt instance, the patient called me a "black __" (rhymes with 'ditch' but starts with a 'B') and said, "Go back to Africa."

    I prefer to never work with these people again. If a patient or his/her family members dislike me due to racial issues, this is one less difficult assignment I must contend with. And, yes, they make peoples' shifts difficult.
    Being that I used to be Little Miss Perfect Princess Nurse, white picket fence and all (and I am the same as the fence), I was often the one called upon to replace the nurse being rejected for racial reasons.

    I can confirm your assertion that they make things difficult for everyone. Not like having a nurse who matches their idea of what a nurse should be helps the situation at all. Once they get that, it's onto the next thing to complain about.

    My assessment is: Having been accommodated, they get the sense that they can say or do anything they please with no recourse. So they keep taking it up a notch to test that theory.

    These people never give good survey scores not matter what the accommodations or level of care.

    I complained about it at committee meetings, said being pulled into the situation put me in a no win situation. Truth is, most of these individuals wanted me to co-sign their (stuff) and when I didn't, they thought less of me. I guess, to some, being Perfect Princess Nurse includes a lot of judgments based on race.

    I have worked at facilities that did not let the "Survey Score Gods" dictate their decision making with regards to this issue though. I've seen patients told "Our facility takes it's cultural sensitivity seriously and believe you care is not jeopardized. We are also an equal opportunity employer, as mandated by the U.S. If you feel your care is unacceptable because of this, feel free to contact us again when you have evidence of this. By evidence, we mean something more than you don't care for (fill in the blank with whatever racial background) nurses."

    We are trained in cultural sensitivity. This does not mean playing matchmaker for patients who think being culturally sensitive means making the nurses a choice on the buffet where the patient chooses whatever flavor suits their taste at the moment. It means we are capable of caring for those who are different than us.

    Part of my growth as a nurse was to refuse these patients when they refused my fellow nurses as caretakers. We are one, as caregivers. Refusing them is to refuse me.

    This usually lead to them being cared for some nurse just out of orientation (and desperate to please) who just didn't know better than to say no.

  • Sep 26

    It's 2016 and seems like we are stuck in 1916. How in the H-E- double hockey sticks is it OK to actually document Caucasian caregivers only! My mind is blown by this. Can caregivers then also state they will only take care of blue-eyed blondes? This is crazy.
    Patient's don't get a free pass to be bigots - I have encountered overt racism and have learned to let it roll off my back. We cannot however, enable this behavior. If the only nurses on the floor are people of color then what? I understand customer service and all that, but I don't get to pick who gives me CPR if I need it. Just as a previous poster noted if Dr. Burning Cross is the best available - bring it on!

  • Sep 26

    I will not pretend that I know what it feels like to be discriminated against in this country (I assume you're in the US) because of my skin color, but I will say I have seen nurses discriminated against for countless stupid reasons and this is certainly a field that you have to learn to let stuff roll of your back quickly.

    On the other hand, reading through a few of the other comments, I have a serious issue with condoning any kind of unfounded and ridiculous prejudice, whether it be race or some other dumb excuse. Reading some other responses saying they put notes on the patient's chart saying "caucasian caretakers only" or whatever is asinine. I realize we're not going to change their mind, but catering to narrow minded bigotry shouldn't be an obligation of our either. I doubt these people go to a restaurant and refuse service from a black employee, or refuse to check out at a register with a black employee.

  • Sep 26

    Quote from GGirll22
    I was assigned to deal with a Cancer patient who was young and had many religious figures in her room, a believer of GOD, but I was told she didn't want any African American people to care for her. Things change as you need CPR.... and need medical attention that someone that isn't of color can do for example the PICC line nurse is African American. Your options are limited when you are ignorant.
    I wish you were right. Had a man in the ER let his kid die while waiting for a white doctor from the next county because no t***l head was gonna touch his boy. How far are you willing to go? If it was my baby and Dr. Burning Cross was the best care available I would accept it AND thank him. I don't get it.

  • Sep 26

    Quote from Ruby Vee
    And unfortunately, many administrators and even nurses give them a pass because "they're sick" or "they're under a lot of stress." Being sick or under stress does not excuse hateful behavior.

    Dementia may excuse it somewhat, but doesn't make it easier to take.
    In all cases of distress and desperation, their true self is revieled.

  • Sep 26

    I was assigned to deal with a Cancer patient who was young and had many religious figures in her room, a believer of GOD, but I was told she didn't want any African American people to care for her. Things change as you need CPR.... and need medical attention that someone that isn't of color can do for example the PICC line nurse is African American. Your options are limited when you are ignorant.

  • Sep 26

    I just had a patient say last week that she did not want any blacks taking care of her. While giving someone a pass in your head and saying "oh they are from a different generation or it's just ignorance" is nice for the entitled, it is insulting to those of us who have experienced it for all of our lives. Racism is often just that. Hate does not become something else because the patient is a certain age.

    To the Op: Be glad. The same patient/family that has a problem with you will be more likely to complain or try to get you fired for no reason. Consider the change in assignment a blessing. Sometimes rejection is protection. Hang in there.

  • Sep 26

    I won't tolerate it and I would walk if my employer ever expected me to, which they have not. I'm a conventional looking white female nurse so have never experienced it myself but I have witnessed it and I shut that garbage down. I don't care how old or where they're from, it's shameful behavior where I live and work.

    OP, I'm sorry you had to experience that, there's no excuse but some people just lack class, intelligence and morality.

  • Sep 6

    I can barely make it in the door it rains bras and underwear from the other nurses just throwing themselves at me.

  • Aug 8

    Quote from lavenderskies
    Let's be clear, I'm not defending that comment. I'm just saying if you want to be able to say it all direct and without any sort of preamble to set the stage.....yes, you'll have to thicken it up and let stuff go. If a poster hasn't been around here for ages to learn Rosers style then your comments can often very easily come off as snarky, dismissive and or condescending. I'm not saying I don't value your input I'm just telling you what I see.
    I appreciate your candor. However, I believe there is a line between constructive disagreement and absolutely inappropriate, degrading comments (whether or not the poster "knows" my style, whatever that means). And I believe that line was crossed.

    For the record, BTW, I have not (as alleged) threatened to quit I started this thread by saying that I sometimes question whether I want to continue to participate in a forum where such comments occur.

  • Aug 8

    Quote from TriciaJ
    Fast forward a bit and we've learned that a little tact and diplomacy goes a long way. We can be just as effective mentors and teachers without the snark.
    I agree. I think just remembering to be courteous and kind goes a long way. Just a thought, but it's my thought.

    I've had my feelings hurt by a poster a time or two in the past that enjoyed picking everything I said apart - no matter what I posted. Using quotes to be cruel. I felt belittled and stupid, and it really hurt more than I care to admit.

    I do want to take this opportunity now to send out a heart felt apology to anyone I may have hurt in the past without realizing it. Please believe that if that happened it was unintentional.

  • Aug 8

    As a snarky person who uses passive aggressive phrasing to be able to call people out without getting points, I am excellent at detecting meanness.

    Roser13 doesn't pull any punches. If you're being stupid, she'll point it out. But, it's not with the intention of belittling you or telling you that you suck at life. She's basically saying, "That post was stupid."

    Letting that be a license to say that she must have been tortured as a child shows way more about you than you meant it to, I'm sure. Bless your heart.

  • Aug 8

    Quote from TheCommuter
    I've noticed an increase in the number of over-sharers in the workforce over the past few years. Over-sharing is also known by another name: boundaryless sharing.

    Our personal information is too valuable to share with people who have only known us for a day or two. Save the chatter for those who are worth our time, such as family and real friends. Healthy boundaries can serve as a deterrent to spilling the beans.
    I think people get the idea from sitcoms that their colleagues are "a family" and that it's OK to share such things because of that. Bad idea!

  • Jul 29

    I had a professor tell us a story at orientation that has stuck with me. This won't be as good as hers but I'm sure you will get the gist. . . Her orientation went just like yours. The whole look to your right and left they won't be here in the end thing, and this will break you. She said everyone felt defeated and worthless when they left. She went to brown and was able to sit in on the dr orientation. Theirs started off the same look to your right and left but then they were told you are here because you are the best of the best. Hand picked to be here. Walk out feeling proud. Some programs set us up to feel defeated and low, but please remember that YOU are in your nursing program because YOU are the best of the best!!!!! You've got this. Well, you and your crockpot.