Airina Desuyo 1,857 Views
Joined Aug 26, '07.
Posts: 6 (33% Liked)
These past weeks had not been very pleasant for me: I had unfavorable encounters in my workplace with first, a patient, and then one relative of a patient who both bad-mouthed me. Then last night, to top it all, I had to extend my duty for another eight hours to fill the lack of staff.
I know I made an oath five years back and that everything is part of the job but I can't help but wonder if these happenings might be God's way of telling me:
"My child, you can now stop."
I would not go into the details of both incidents but for the record, there is absolutely nothing I did wrong; the exact words I received from that patient's daughter were:
"Lahat naman gusto mag-abroad, ikaw hindi ka makakapag-abroad. Ang mga nurse na kagaya mo, walang mararating!" (Everybody wants to work abroad, you will not work abroad. Nurses like you will never go anywhere!)
For people who know me, I am never emotional. I do not practically care whatever people say about me nor am I affected of sorrow, pain, blod spills, nor death. I have a tough heart that's why I fit perfectly in the hospital setting. But that night, I thought those words were just TOO harsh. That relative and I merely met for less than an hour, maybe most was two hours, and she spoked of me a way as though she knows me her entire life. And the patient is fine, by the way.
I know that people in the hospital carry heavy burdens, but surely it does not give them the license to hurt other people.
I am one nurse who never answers back especially when the one I am talking to is already mad. I wanted to tell her that not all nurses want to go abroad, some wants to abort this vocation more than anything. And I am proudly part of that "some".
That night, just like all other times, I just kept mum, listened and absorbed everything but when I was on my way home, I cried while praying.
I asked God if all these sacrifices and heartbreaks are really worth it.
I even asked him to take me away from this profession.
I begged and said please a number of times.
For consistent readers of my blog, I already gave my nursing career a deadline. That deadline is due in two months time. If you do not read often, don't judge me. I have exerted everything in my power to love this vocation, to be happy, to try my luck overseas, but to no success.
Right now, I actually am giving myself several chances to stay: I opened my door to opportunities in scary-sounding countries just to be able to work overseas. If I be lucky to land in those places still as a nurse, I don't know what to expect. I don't know if foreign patients will be as unappreciative as some Filipino patients.
I just need good money to finance my journalism course and I swear I would never greed for more. I dont care what job, for as long as I get that tuition fee money.
For now, there is no definite route for me after April 2015. My dream of becoming a journalist is crystal clear but the path to it seems very dim.
May the Lord help me.
Im in the Philippines Yes I bet we have a lot of guardian angels, good thinking!
Wondering why I chose eight? Each entry represents the standard eight hours nurses like me spend in one shift. Standard, eh? I frankly used the number because I need one; otherwise if I add up all the extended hours, this list could go on forever.
So I hate being a nurse because...
EIGHT - Nurses wear all white and we have to wear our hair up in a bun. You know how inconvenient plus hard to maintain that is? Okay, I came to duty on a heavy rain and mud starts making its way up my white uniform and there it is, a stain to last my entire shift. Also, putting my hair up prevents my it from being gorgeous! Really. That means no straightening, rebonding nor perming because I have to pull my hair back every single day. Oh God, I always envy those girls in high fashion corporate wears and all-set hairstyles. Maybe nurses should be allowed to look the same. Umm, just maybe.
SEVEN - We don't get a professional fee (PF). We also have a license, and that makes us professionals too. But we don't have a professional fee and we live on meager salary regardless of how many patients we've handled or cases we've assisted.
SIX - We do not have a holiday. Everyone in the industry can relate to this, I wouldn't dare watch out for holidays because I just feel hopeless. The entire country rests lazily on their couches while I pin high my dear cap.
FIVE - We can't leave unfinished work. I mean office girls do that, do they? They can leave unfinished works and get to it the next morning. But nurses have to stay for as long as needed because we just can't leave things undone. Life is at stake and life can't wait.
FOUR - We are the complaints center, if there is such a thing. When patients have a complaint on just about anything, they complain to the nurse. Not to the housekeeping staff, guard, doctor, or anyone else. Directly to the nurse; blame that for being too available.
THREE - Refer this and that. Even if I know what drug to give, and I have it right here in my very hands; I can't give it, I always need to refer and ask for a prescription. I say nurses carry immense responsibility but very little authority, now how more frustrating can that get?
TWO - We are not treated as professionals. Leaking faucet? Faulty telly? We are always asked to do things we are not supposed to do. I mean, we've studied four dreaded years and earn ourselves a license for what? Fixing your telly signal? Hell no. Nurses are professionals like engineers, accountants, lawyers, and your beloved doctors whom you do not dare raise one eyebrow while you mindlessly shout at your nurse like your entire hospital bill goes straight to her salary.
ONE - Nursing is more than a sacrifice, it's suicide. From nursing school to nurse's station, enough sleep, enough food, nor enough rest is next to impossible. Here's one idea that I've thought of just now: nurses religiously monitor patients' urine output but at the end of the shift we realize we haven't once gone to the bathroom: and that makes ours zero. So,if there's one profession that wholly uses up one's existence: be it mentally, physically, and emotionally, you got it: it's Nursing.
Gosh, making a hate list is tiring; but then of course, I also have a list of the things I love in this field...
8.) There are always doctors and nurses who look handsome in white and you get to trifle with them; and suddenly, the world is a better place
7.) I love it when I get in regular clothes and everyone stares in shock; as if I've got no right to wear nothing but white.
6.) More seriously, as a nurse, I get to see life in all its forms: from womb to tomb.
5.) I get to work with all the goodness of my heart, no PF needed. I'm quite about sure you wouldn't find nurses in hell.
4.) I love being able to discharge patients in their improved condition. Nothing beats seeing them go home thanking you for their recovery. I guess that just transpires the very essence of this job.
3.) My heart leaps when patients and/or relatives appreciate the work I have done; when they actually call me by name and boast that I am their nurse.
2.) No other profession is as heroic as ours: giving up our own lives in order to save others.
1.) Last of all, nurses may not be angels, but we're the next best thing.
Oh you get it, I'm proud of this job: I just never admit it because it's just too much fun to complain. Kudos nurses!
Yesterday was just one of the most depressing shifts of my life; in fact it was so depressing I had a hard time thinking of the word.
I was on a PM shift (2-10PM), and the lights suddenly went out right after our rounds. Yes, it doesn't take a genius to guess, there was a power failure on our side of the hospital building. Panic rose from everywhere as two of our patients are on mechanical ventilators and obviously, we have to manually resuscitate them. I ran from room to room assisting in ambubagging*, answering inquiries and providing comfort while my own perspiration trickles down my white uniform.
To make matters worse, the blackout did not last for seconds nor minutes, it lasted seven long hours. I just couldn't face the patients' inquiries on whats taking the power too long; partly because I honestly dont know the answer and at that moment, I don't want to ask.
At around 5 in the afternoon, everyone got restless of waiting, a lot of patients and their relatives were demanding for additional lights and emergency fans, but most of them wants a room transfer...
And that includes my patient Ms. B. I planned to give her her due dose of antibiotic before the room transfer; but she suddenly shouted and badmouthed me on the corridor while a lot of other patients and their relatives stare. She kept on shouting and I felt very little at that time. I almost wanted to cry but I did not let my emotions come in the way. I told myself that Ms. B just got fed up of waiting; she came to the hospital to feel comfort and she's not getting it at the moment.
I proceeded with the room transfer and once we were on the well-lighted and air-conditioned room, I gave the medication and went on my way.
Sometimes even if you have exhausted all means to provide care, at the expense of your own needs, they still find you inadequate. And it sucks that nurses have to be always nice, in a way I don't even begin to understand.
P.S. I am not blaming anybody for what happened, but just so you know, it did not feel right.
*bag valve mask
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