Latest Comments by brandy1017

Latest Comments by brandy1017

brandy1017 23,520 Views

Joined Jun 30, '02. Posts: 1,938 (66% Liked) Likes: 4,124

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  • 1
    joanna73 likes this.

    Quote from Neywel120
    When you went into the nursing profession and received your first salaried job, did it make you want to spend more and buy luxury cars, electronics ,etc?

    I ask this because I'm pretty frugal, but when I see a car or new gadget that I really really like the first thing that comes to my mind is "I'm going to get that when I become a nurse". Did any of you nurses felt like that with your salary where you just have to buy, buy, and buy because you can afford it but you don't need it?
    It's ok to look forward to having nice things. Just do it in moderation and use balance so you don't get over your head in debt. We work hard for our money and should be able to enjoy it!

    Personally I don't regret the things I bought, even though some that were important when first got them, I no longer enjoy such as music and books so I gave them away.

    I've given away some home decor items to family or friends, other things I've bought I love years later. Regardless I don't regret spending on things.

    But I also am glad I took many vacations over the years and have many wonderful memories.

    I think it's all a balance between spending today vs saving for tomorrow.

  • 1
    joanna73 likes this.

    You can have cliques anywhere at any job. Working 3 12 hour shifts is great because you can go a month or more without seeing someone. It helps break up the clique mentality! Saw much more of it when 8 hour shifts were the norm and everyone worked a set schedule.

    Some nurses socialize outside of work, but not everyone. It just depends on the unit and the coworkers. In general young singles hang out together and married with family socialize less. Personally I think it's better to keep work and personal life separate. I learned that the hard way from trusting the wrong persons. Sure I still socialize with a few coworkers, but keep things light and save my innermost being and thoughts to my loved ones outside of work. I learned to share a lot less of my personal life thru trial and error. To each his own.

  • 0

    I feel safe at work. It is more likely that someone could harm me elsewhere for example a mall. I'm not afraid. THe incidents at work were either confused dementia patients or angry patients that lashed out physically. Never had a weapon pulled on me. One time while on a walk in a deserted place a man slammed his brakes and started reaching towards me from the passenger window. I yelled at him to stay away and walked into the street so he'd have to turn his car around. There was some oncoming traffic and luckily he drove away. Another time while walking at that same park a strange man approached me, but another woman with a cellphone out made sure he left me alone. As a woman I'd feel more vulnerable to rape than someone pulling a gun. Though I feel safer now that I'm older as I think I'd be less of a target since they usually choose younger victims.

    I do think ER nurses are more at risk than floor nurses and that there should be armed security and police nearby if you live in a crime ridden urban city! I believe some hospitals do have metal detectors in certain high crime cities. Now recently the police are a main target and in many cities they are now going out in pairs and not alone because of all the shooting of police.

    To some extent thinking you are a safe is a false sense of security because violence can happen anywhere a mall, a park or festival even hair salons and stores. I think the govt should once again ban assault rifles. I don't understand why the ban was repealed in the first place. How many innocent people have to die before the govt does something! But frankly if the govt failed to act after all those innocent children were killed in Newtown, CT I don't know if anything will touch their hearts. Pretty hardened hearts to refuse to act after that attack! Where will it end? Only God knows!

  • 0

    That is a very sad situation. Why not go back to the NP that was understanding of your mom's need for pain meds and anxiety meds? This is exactly what I feared would happen with the pressure for Dr's not to prescribe narcotics, that people will be left with uncontrolled pain. I see this already with nurse friends who are treated as drug seekers if they need narcotics for an injury or chronic back problem.

    Is there any way you can go back to the NP with her? Otherwise seek out pain management for sure. Sometimes non narcotics can help such as lido patches or a steroid shot, but narcotics should not be withheld from her. Plus she is dealing with anxieity and dementia. The dementia may be increasing the anxiety as she realizes she is forgetting things. I imagine that would be very unsettling.

  • 1

    Just be aware nursing is very stressful, most places short staff, you are juggling many patients and are responsible for everyone and everything, whereas the job you have now you see patients one at a time, on a schedule, you have a defined job. Nursing may feel like chaos to you. So many people go into nursing to help others and then find themselves overwhelmed and disappointed with the reality of nursing. Personally I wouldn't recommend it. Why not volunteer where you can make a personal difference and keep your day job! I wish I could have a defined job where I could say it's not my job when one of the myriad support staff doesn't do their job! If only!

  • 0

    Quote from nursej22
    Do not admit to any fault on your part, they don't care. Do not point fingers, they don't care. Don't fall on your sword and promise you'll try harder, they don't care.
    Do describe the situation in factual terms, and state you disagree with their version.
    Write ups are a means of documenting patterns and reasons for dismissal. When you include your version, you create the pattern for wrongful discharge.
    I agree 100%. What a great idea to sow the seeds of a wrongful discharge if it were to come to that. Why should a nurse say their sorry or promise to do better if it was not their fault and they did nothing wrong, but were blamed for the CNA not doing his/her job! I think sometimes disciplinary actions are meant to put the person in their place, make them feel small, and are a guise to give a bad eval and no or little raise. From what the OP said this seems to have little true merit and more of admin trying to make an example of the nurse for the rest of the staff. Ironic to hold customer satisfaction against a nurse, when admin is certainly at fault for the blatant understaffing that is going on. Personally if it were me I would stand my ground and not back down or apologize. I would instead look for another job ASAP!

    I also agree I don't feel like a supervisor and the few times I've tried to get a CNA to do their job I got resistance, even outright defiance and insubordination and then the supervisor didn't back me. They only wanted us all to get along and felt I should have just done the CNA's job myself rather than make an issue of their refusal to do their job. Like someone said why do we need to supervise CNA's as they are adults and should do their job like adults without needed to be reminded like children! Nobody needs to remind me to do my job as a nurse. I do what needs to be done without needing to be told or prodded. I have a strong conscience that would not let me do otherwise!

  • 1
    brownbook likes this.

    It's time to get the heck out of dodge!

  • 12
    kailynnsmom, val421, SororAKS, and 9 others like this.

    I made twice as much as a new nurse than a secretary yet my rent, student loans, car payment and credit card debt were over 50% of my income so I didn't feel rich. Plus I was living on my own, no more roommates so rent cost more. I got some hand me down furniture from family and one of my first new things I got I paid for on layaway.

    Take a personal finance course before signing up for student loans and a new car. Splurge on something small to begin with. Keep your student loans as low as possible. Pay them no matter what! As another mentioned you can't get rid of them in bankruptcy and if you defer them the interest is only accruing and that will mean bigger loan payments for more years down the road. I put mine in deferment a couple times and it took me almost 25 years to pay them off. That is one of my biggest regrets! So glad to have the student loan monkey off my back!

  • 2

    Quote from Greys_l
    Yes they did. I get the message from everyone's tone. I'm an idiot for trusting management it will not happen again.

    It sounds like management used your naivete to take advantage of you and get your work for free. Sounds like there was dishonesty on their part. I don't blame you for not wanting to stay. Sadly you aren't the first person this has happened to and probably won't be the last.

    A fellow coworker was promised bonus pay for working extra, but then the manager reneged when the paycheck came. Said coworker never worked extra again and instead switched to part time for the insurance benefits and worked agency for the rest of the time and got paid much more.

    If you have paperwork to prove you should be paid I would bring it up to your manager and HR and like the others suggested file a complaint with the Dept of Labor. Such complaints and lawsuits have resulted in hospitals paying millions in back pay for all the nurses who were expected to work thru their lunch hours without a break or pay! Don't blame yourself! You have done nothing wrong!

  • 5

    Thanks for sharing your personal experiences and your journey to peace. I'm sure your memoir will inspire other nurses away from the trap of perfectionism and the super nurse phenomenon. Also to seek out support when struggling with personal or work problems, being open to using employee assistance programs or other support groups or therapy to deal with the difficulties of life.

    I benefited from therapy as I struggled as a new nurse and know other coworkers that therapy helped them deal with personal and work problems. I don't know if I would have survived as a new nurse without the extra support I received! I have witnessed a few fellow nurses meltdown over the years and lose their jobs that may have been saved if they had reached out for support before it was too late!

    We have to remember that we are only human and our job does not define us. We are more than just nurses. It can be easy to lose touch with friends and family because of the job, long hours, working weekends and holidays; and we have to fight to maintain close family bonds and friendships. We have to resist the pressure of the Nightingale super nurse stereotype and demands of management to work overtime to achieve balance. Let's be kind to each other and get off the competition train. Instead see each other as unique team members, each with our own strengths and weaknesses that together we complement each other and can do more together than alone!

  • 1
    CryandNurseOn likes this.

    Quote from Erythropoiesis
    Being "highly sensitive" isn't something anyone can just turn off without medication. Its not a lifestyle choice, it's an actual condition. It's a fancy term for people who are easily overstimulated.
    But I also think other people can become sensitized via PTSD both from their personal life experiences and what they witness and deal with as a nurse. PTSD can cause a hyperarousal that would be similar to HSP and I think many nurses deal with this. The alarms bother me so much now, but years ago they didn't. Although over the years management has just kept adding more and more alarms. I try to drown out the alarms with some good music. Sometimes I turn off the phone because the false tele alarms won't stop blaring. I just want some peace and quiet already!

  • 1
    TriciaJ likes this.

    Quote from TriciaJ
    Why have an alarm in the bathroom that no one gets to use?

    Good One! I guess you have a point there! Made me laugh! Thanks!

  • 2
    Muser69 and Marisette like this.

    Quote from beckster
    Just retired from nursing and this type of abusive corporate healthcare. So glad, so glad, so glad. 34 years of intimidation, bullying and only devolution in status of nurses. And then we're told how "respected" we are and given a pen and cupcakes for Nurses' Week!

    I'm so jealous I wish I was old enough to retire! Isn't that crazy most people want to be young, but I keep wishing I was older and find myself envying the nurses closer to retirement!

    I wrack my brain trying to come up with a solution but haven't found one. I'm just so tired of all the BS we have to put up with just to have a paycheck. I envy friends and family that worked for the govt and were able to retire with full pensions and health insurance after only 20-25 years. If only nurses were given that option. It would make the stress easier to deal with knowing an end was in sight!

    Someone tell me where are all the good nursing jobs hiding? Or are they over the rainbow!

  • 2
    sevensonnets and Here.I.Stand like this.

    Quote from Chisca
    If you're going to make me wear googles and earplugs to simulate being elderly I need my cane. So I can bop you in the head.
    Best response yet! Made me LMAO! Thanks!

  • 10

    Quote from Davey Do
    As part of the training for the Assertive Community Treatment program back in 1998, Mental Health Professionals attended a 2 week training seminar in Chicago which involved similar exercises.

    For example, for one exercise, we wore headphones mimicking auditory hallucinations while we went through our day. During my interview with a Psychologist, I was diagnosed with Hebephrenic Schizophrenia because I couldn't stop laughing.

    In another exercise, we had to go out on the street and panhandle.

    I made a dollar.

    These empathy exercises were well planned and executed. Not only was the experience enlightening, it was also just plain old fun.

    Too bad this one was not likewise.

    The difference being this was not an empathy exercise, but rather a way to punish the nurses and show them what it feels like to not be able to go to the bathroom. It is abusive, shameful and sadly a cruel joke because it is so common for nurses to not go to the bathroom at work because they don't feel they have the time! Management once again blaming the nurse for all the problems. If only the nurses were like Florence Nightingale then everything would be wonderful! No mention or recognition that the problems stem from systemic understaffing and mismanagement!

    I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive environment and sometimes it feels like nursing is similar! The working conditions are coercive and then the physical abuse comes from the patients. It's a sad irony that is not lost on me, but I have to work and can't afford to quit and take early retirement. I've seen alot over the years that has left me bitter, but then even worse things are done such as forcing vaccines on us just to have a job. It leaves me wondering where things will end by the time I can retire! How much worse is it going to get! We are left where we don't have control of our own body, what we put in it and now when we can even go the bathroom! This insanity needs to stop!

    Management are the ones that should have had this "empathy" experiment, not the workers in the trenches. They have probably never not taken a break, lunch or gone to the bathroom whenever they wanted! Heck they don't even have to punch a time clock. Maybe if they experienced what it felt like they might wake up and hire more staff! That should be the first solution!


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