Latest Comments by mother/babyRN

mother/babyRN 9,431 Views

Joined Feb 26, '02. Posts: 1,959 (3% Liked) Likes: 411

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  • 1
    salsps likes this.

    I just want to thank all of you for sharing your experiences, so raw and personal, with me. You are truly such brave and resilient people. I am proud to be part of the AllNurses family with you. There is some peace in disclosure, at least for me, and if I can help even one person identify and discuss just a small aspect of their tragic experience with sexual assault, I feel so grateful to have been able to elicit that. Again and always, thank you for your compassion, empathy, sympathy and strength...We are strong, whole and if not thriving, then certainly surviving as best we can....Martha

  • 1
    tachybradyRN likes this.

    James is your angel and I am sure he is smiling and hugging you close from Heaven....What a beautiful tribute to your brother......

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    Absolutely beautiful.....Sometimes we touch others with our hearts as well as our hands. This elderly gentleman is probably humming along with you from heaven....Thank you for sharing these poignant moments, and as one who sang to my dad while he was dying, I know that music and memories can bring such peace to those at the end of their lives on earth......

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    I would approach her and mention you were thinking about what she said but you are more interested in what she didn't say. You could ask for specifics and then let her know that if she has any concerns with your reports she should talk to you directly. If she approaches you again tell her thank you for her interest but you think you are doing ok....

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    Absolutely on point and thank you so much for a great article.....

  • 1
    brian likes this.

    I do talk about it all the time but do not know if people at my current facility have checked it out. I have noticed that now I have been fortunate to have had an article selected that is highlighted, that they are starting to express interest in going in and reading the articles, and by being there, checking out all the specialty forums. I didn't realize that all the talking I did with the nurses in my previous place of work encouraged at least a couple of them to join, so I try to do my part in advocating AllNurses! Martha

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    Awww..Thank you everyone.....I will try some of the advice and I know that at the moment, things are just due to what I mentioned, because during the time I am off or manage to catch up with sleep, it is much better. Unfortunately, I am not at a place where I can change my work circumstances, and I have an amazing husband who helps out tremendously.....But, there are those moments where we have to wonder when things are "normal" and when they are not.....That, I guess, is just the way life is......But, thank you so much for all your advice and replies...I want to have all of you as my nurses!

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    This is such an amazing story and reminder to all of us who even occasionally or not on purpose, make those judgements...Congratulations on your well deserved first place and thank you for sharing it with all of us. What an amazing memory and legacy for Janet.....

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    But you have all those things....You have packed them in your heart.....Thank you for such a beautiful piece....

  • 23
    HealerSB, canoehead, intellinurse, and 20 others like this.

    :Forgetful Moments and Older Nurses…

    Getting older in nursing is just like getting older in real life.

    Sometimes it’s worse.

    It can be worse because not only are you charged with caring for older people and their physical, emotional and psychological changes; you are tasked with dealing with some of the same issues WHILE caring for others.

    The other night I drew some blood from a patient with routine orders post partum.

    I got as far as the desk and forgot the tubes were in my pocket.

    I forgot them (albeit briefly) because someone had the audacity to call me in to an emergency situation while I was enroute to the lab.

    Imagine that!

    About ten minutes later I happened upon my lab slips and WHAM, a lucid memory of having drawn the blood came rushing to the forefront of my brain. I sent the labs and they were fine. Thank goodness.

    Another time I was staring at the patient addressograph and couldn’t remember the name of the thing. That is, of COURSE I was aware of its presence and function; I just couldn’t form the word “addressograph” in my attempt to tell another nurse where her patient stencil was. We both laughed at that and compared mutual forgetful moments, but in the back of my mind, I wondered what it must be like to have receptive or expressive aphasia following a stroke. Now that I’m older I have to think and differentiate between the “elderly” moments and real cerebral danger. How scary is that?

    If you have never experienced those sorts of events (either one), please be grateful.

    It teaches you to be even more patient than you hopefully already were.

    It can be humorous but also humbling.

    It can be a pain on so many levels.

    I thoroughly hate it, even when it happens only once in awhile.

    I try to make light of it but it is a uniquely valid concern.

    I need to be there for my family.

    I need to be there for my patients.

    I need to be there for my co-workers.

    I need to be there for me…

    When I was a younger nurse it didn’t often happen that I would lose track of my mission on the way from a patient room to the supply cart. These days, however, if I am interrupted on the way I sometimes stare at the cart for several moments before I remember what the heck I am in search of. It would be laughable if not for the fact that it occurs to me that must be what confused patients feel like. How frightening for them.

    It can be scary and concerning and down right inconvenient.

    How is it that one nurse can make an excellent cheat sheet and then lose the darn thing more than once a shift? I have to make copies just in case I lose the first one. That’s a lot of work for a harried nurse. What else might I forget? Will it happen during a real emergency? Will I make a med error or put a patient in jeopardy?

    Yes, it is true that with age and fatigue comes forgetfulness.

    Marry those facts with menopause and it brings on a new appreciation for estrogen

    And definitely a desire for restful sleep.

    The other night I was in the middle of patient teaching with a first time mom with marginal support at home. By the luck of the draw I was also the charge nurse. That meant I was interrupted several times to intervene and investigate other matters. It was probably two hours later when I realized I had not been back to finish my teaching. I was horrified because I had told my patient I would be right back. She was very understanding but it caused me to wonder what it must feel like to patients who have to wait for long periods of time to even see a nurse due to the business or skill of the nurses working on the floors to which they are assigned.

    By now many of the nurses reading this have identified with the loss of thoughts that happen every once in awhile and later, often.

    Some are smiling or even laughing.

    But I am not….

    You see, I’m afraid.

    I’m afraid when those moments happen because I have been a nurse forever and that is what I do.

    That is who I am.

    What happens when or if I can’t be a nurse?

    What happens when I NEED a nurse?

    Those moments of forgetfulness may very well be benign side effects of aging, working twelve hour night shifts, chronic sleep deprivation and co existing and caring for a husband and three young children.

    What if it isn’t?

    Nurses need to remember that they are people first.

    They (We) are not invincible.

    We definitely aren’t perfect and we are subject to all of the fears and concerns any one else faces.

    We are a single part of the “every” one who co-exists with us.

    Losing ourselves takes on an entirely new meaning when considering that fact.

    Here is what I would like should the reality of my forgetfulness become more significant that the usual things that happen post the infamous fifty year old hallmark.

    I want a nurse to care for me who sees me for who I am, even if I am confused.

    I want a nurse who makes me laugh by laughing at him or herself.

    I want a nurse who establishes a rapport with me and my family and involves them positively in my care.

    I want a nurse who holds my hands when she talks with me, or if I cannot reply, to me.

    I want a nurse who looks into my eyes and sees my pain.

    I want a nurse who searches for whatever sparkle I might have left and nurtures it as far as it can go.

    I want someone who won’t laugh at my confusion, or ignore me in the hallway in the Geri chair because I am annoying him or her. I want a nurse who on the busiest of shifts tries to remember that I would not be screaming or soiling myself if I had any control over that.

    I want a nurse who is aware that could I do so and they were in a similar position, I would care tenderly and fiercely for them.

    I want a nurse who recognizes that I love hugs, and who is willing to give one.

    I want a nurse who tells me over and over again that I am safe and not snarl at me or resent that I am causing a scene. If I am doing that it is because I can’t help it.

    If I am angry and not confused, or somewhat confused, I want a nurse who will limit set with me appropriately and not worry about his or her job when they do.

    I want someone to talk to me and not over me if I am in a comatose or vegetative state.

    I want a nurse who will read to me if I can’t see or for any reason not be able to do so myself.

    I want nurses who will talk to each other while they are tending to me but say so and include me by doing so if I can’t respond. I can hear you.

    I want a nurse who respects and works with my family and understands that I am not just a patient to them. I am (or was) their life. I am (or was) their mother or wife. I am (or was) just a person like them.

    I want a nurse who understands that I may be in pain even if I can’t talk or ask for pain medication.

    I want a nurse who can see pain in my face or in my actions and doesn’t leave me without pain medication because I can’t ask for analgesia.

    I want a nurse who pays attention to subltle nuance...

    I want a nurse who doesn't dismiss me or my importance in the world simply because I can't talk, see, relate or care for myself.

    I want a nurse who will wonder and honor who I am and who I used to be.

    I want a nurse who will constantly search for signs that my mind is functioning even if and when my body is not.

    I want a nurse who will advocate for me and my familyI want a nurse who is not afraid to touch me.

    I want a nurse who is not afraid to cry.

    I want a nurse who is special…

    In other words, I want to be cared for the way I try to care for others.

    There are so many other things I need.

    There are so many things I want.

    I would tell you what they are

    But I forget….

    Written by…Martha RN

  • 1
    LovingNurse likes this.

    "Loving Nurse" is most certainly the best name for you. I have seen many things, but never an autopsy. Even in death, through your eyes this young woman was advocated and remembered. May everyone be as fortunate to have a caring person such as yourself, present both in mind and in heart, should they have to go through such an experience. Thank you.....Your empathy and compassion come through so beautifully through your writing....

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    Awww, thank you....I am still in touch with James, who had a pancreas transplant and is now free of diabetes altogether......

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    Thank you...Sometimes I want to run and not walk back to Studentnurseworld...

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    Right back at you! {{{}}}

  • 1
    salsps likes this.

    This is a concise, well written and extremely helpful article. Thank you so much for submitting it..