GooeyRN 11,117 Views
Joined Nov 27, '05.
Posts: 1,736 (18% Liked)
I am an RN and my dh is a structural/civil engineer. I don't think I can find anything at all in common with the two, other than we both have people asking us for stuff all of the time. One you will be on your feet and doing physical stuff a lot, the other you will be sitting in a cube. What sounds better to you? One you will be doing most talking via phone or email, the other is mostly face to face. You do have to work with others in both... Nursing you will have odd hours but your shift generally ends and you go home. Your off time is YOURS. There is the odd call about something off duty, but it doesn't have to be your life. Engineering... Well, it is part of your life/is your life and the two go together. My husband has his own business now, and works from home. Sure, he is home and sees the kids a lot, but he is working and is always on call. Many dinners are without him, he works after kids are in bed, he lives with his phone on his body. He can not run to the store for milk or take a kid to pre-school without having his phone on her person. I do not have to carry a phone like that. I can eat and shower without having to answer right then. If I am called from work, it is something like needing a clarification that can usually wait 15 minutes, or can I work such and such date. If dh misses a call, he loses a job or client. OUCH. I work holidays and weekends, he does not. Neither of us get a 4 day weekend. For instance, Thanksgiving. If a nurse gets it off, they will work the day before, the day after, and the weekend. The engineer gets the holiday itself off. Before doing his own business, he could take vacation and not really be available whenever he wanted, as long as it wasn't a busy season. Now that he has his business, he works while on the beach. Like I said, he works it into life. He gets to be at all of the cute little kid stuff, like pre-school graduations. With his phone, of course. That doesn't happen to easily for nurses. You miss a LOT of kid stuff. You miss a lot of holidays. Many times you have to find someone to cover the time you want off. I had to do this for my wedding. But when you are off, you are OFF. You can forget about work. I will say he makes about triple what I would if I worked full time. So money is a big thing to think about, how much of it you desire. I am unavailable when at work. I can't really take 5 minutes to call home and check on the kids. If a kid gets sick, I can not go home. He has to take them to the dr. or Er or wherever. He can call off if he is sick, generally nurses go to work unless they can't physically make it there/are hospitalized. Looking back, if I was able, I would choose engineering over nursing. The mandatory overtime, swing shifts, weekends, and holidays get to you after awhile. So does missing your kids stuff.
There is such a pressure to GIVE when you are a nurse- give up your time and mental energy, what is left for spouses? For those that seem to give their life and always jump when the phone rings to work their day off or extra long shifts, I assume not much. Sometimes it is hard to come "down" after a bad shift- you need support and "take" support from your spouse, but there isn't always much left to give. Throw in mandatory overtime when the spouse at home and is over-whelmed with kids or elderly live in parents, rotating shifts, weekends, holidays, not being allowed to use PTO when the kids are on summer vacation- Throw in a couple of young kids with a nurse who works a lot of extra, and the partner of the nurse gets left holding the bag a lot. Daycares usually aren't open for holidays and weekends, so the spouse gets kid duty. Especially since nurses can't just call off every time the kid(s) get sick- it puts extra onto the spouse. I can totally see how someone would feel they were being neglected emotionally and want to move on. I am sure many spouses of nurses feel as though the nurse puts the job before them and the family.
Also, psych nurses can smell the crazy from a mile away, and know to get out before it gets bad.
Keep it in your pocket if you do not like wearing it on your neck. Or get a clip thingy to hold it to your pants. NEVER set on down on a counter or as you learned, it won't be seen again. Except maybe around a Dr.s neck.
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