"You look tired" - page 4

How do you all respond to this comment from patients? I work 7a-7p busy med surg, and have baby that wakes up several times a night. I can't help being tired, but these comments irritate me,... Read More

  1. 1
    Whether it annoys me or not depends on who says it and how it is meant. I work 12 hr nights and no matter what I do I never look good by morning. Some nights I mean to go to the bathroom and touch up my makeup, but then I am so excited that I finally got a chance to pee that I forget! If it is that nurse who has been sitting on her behind looking bored while I am running around 1 really sick pt and another one who is confused and plays in her poop, then yes I might be annoyed. Most of the time it is a patient trying to find a way to connect or be concerned. If it a sweet older pt fretting that they are too bothersome I usually avoid telling them I'm tired. With most patients I joke that it is my 4 kids not them that make me tired especially my two teenagers. I look young for my age so this statement usually totally changes the subject. Now if it is that patient/family member tha is so concerned about their stool softner/apple juice/adjusting HOB (hello I showed you how to do it yourself!) during an obvious Code/emergency next room down, it is more a backwards way of stating "Don't be so tired you don't meet my needs" (however petty and demanding they are) . You know that family that stops people who are running in & out of the code patient's room to ask when they can get a glass of water I usually say something very sweetly like "I found you that snack/juice etc you wanted , I'm so sorry it took so long. I was stuck in an emergency but I came as soon as I was done. I didn't want you to think I had forgotten about you. Give me 1 second to catch my breath and I will go get you that cup of ice" The truth, said in a nice tone of voice . After that most of the time they are usually a little more respectful. I am usually very patient and cordial with my patients so this works very well.
    Love that response someone posted of joking for them to scoot over so you could take a nap!!
    anotherone likes this.

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  2. 2
    "oh do I?, Well I got plenty of sleep and feel fine, and I put on makeup, I wonder why I look so tired"? Make em feel dumb, haha. Thats such a bad question to ask anyone.
    anotherone and Hoozdo like this.
  3. 3
    If you're tired, you're tired...there's nothing wrong with that. I really dislike this idea that nurses are supposed to be super-human and not have days when they don't feel well, don't have a lot of energy, don't have perfect hair and makeup. If you're working 12s and have a baby, odds are you barely have time to sleep, let alone glam up. Try not to let insensitive comments like that get to you.

    I think this is a terrible thing to say to someone. You could be feeling fine, be having a perfectly good day, and then someone says that to you and takes the wind right out of your sails. It's a left-handed way of telling someone they look like cr@p.

    You could be mean and come back with something like, "Yeah? Funny, I was just thinking how stupid you look." That might not endear you to a few folks, though.
    wooh, anotherone, and Hoozdo like this.
  4. 1
    But I have a job I love and patients kind enough to care, so I'm a lucky nurse.
    JMBnurse likes this.
  5. 0
    A patient's guardian said to someone I supervise (paraphrasing), "I didn't want to bother 'MarieBailey' about it b/c she looked so tired all week", when asking for help with a patient care issue. I felt as terrible as I probably looked when she told me.
  6. 2
    At the end of a shift my hair is usually flying in all directions, i'm sweaty, mascara (if present) is smudged, make-up worn off. I guess looking "tired" (or "tore back" in my case!) just goes along with the territory in by book. It shows all that I've gone through on the shift!
    peasandonions and anotherone like this.
  7. 1
    This is why I rarely wear makeup to work. Do it regularly and the one time you don't, you get, "You look so tired, are you sick or something?" Don't wear it regularly, and the one time you do, "You look nice today."
    anotherone likes this.
  8. 0
    Great advice ESME! When I have dark circles under my eyes, I usually use a concealer lighter than my foundation, under my eyes and it makes me look wide awake!
  9. 0
    Quote from OCNRN63

    I think this is a terrible thing to say to someone. You could be feeling fine, be having a perfectly good day, and then someone says that to you and takes the wind right out of your sails. It's a left-handed way of telling someone they look like cr@p.

    You could be mean and come back with something like, "Yeah? Funny, I was just thinking how stupid you look." That might not endear you to a few folks, though.
    It is a terrble thing to say. I think some times it is said because the customers know we can't say anything back. It is usually the healthier walkie talkies that bring it up.
  10. 0
    Try working night shifts... three in a row, you are beyond tired. Especially if you can't sleep during the day. Hate, hate, hate nights - but I digress.

    My pts/families often tell me I'm sweating... well, it's because I'm running up and down this hall with too many patients, not enough help, etc etc. But we can't tell them that, now can we?

    Frankly, commenting on someone's appearance is never nice. But then again, they're only human


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