Help...

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    Hi I'm Jim.. I'm in my first semester of nursing and I have a problem. So far I've kept my head above water but I feel myself sinking fast. I'm married with three kids. One of our kids has autism and that is an ordeal in itself. But here's what's really bothering me. All the time I've been in school I've worked full time. My grades have often suffered for it and I can accept that now that I'm in the nursing program. The semester before I got accepted I asked my wife if she would reduce her class load and get a job so that I could reduce my work hours and possibly even quit. Like I said before my head is above water now, but it won't be for long. I work 36 hours over the weekend, prime study and paper time. Whenever I bring it up that I don't have enough time to get my stuff done she tells me that I'm trying to hold her back. What the heck am I supposed to do?
  2. 5 Comments so far...

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    When you figure this one out let all of the other married people know because we've been dying to figure out this dilema. But seriously there aren't many options. One of you can go to school at a time or try your best while killing yourself between school, family and work. I like the first option. I let my wife finish going to school first and now I'm in. Good luck and let us know how it goes and what you decide.
    GodsSon128 likes this.
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    To be frank (from a middle-aged, married father who embarked on the nursing path at the age of 41), it sounds like you two might be in over your heads.

    As you say, a special-needs child is a challenge unto itself. So is nursing school. So is work. So is marriage.

    Her comment is very telling, IMO, and points to some serious underlying issues in your marriage. You say that you asked her to cut back before you started, but you don't say what was her response. If she didn't whole-heartedly agree from the outset, it may be unreasonable to think that she'd change her mind now.

    My suggestion is that you two take stock of your situation and establish some near-term and intermediate-term goals for your family, then create a budget, and decide what's realistic given your relationship, finances, and your personal academic abilities.

    Also, understand that there's an ebb and flow to nursing school and the time/energy which it requires. Many people, myself included, feel that the beginning is often the worst so there may be some space coming up... but perhaps not.

    Meanwhile, you need to work out how to capture every free minute for studying... standing in line at the store, commuting, a few minutes before you sleep, etc, etc, etc... and ramp up your efficiency as best you're able. Look for available tools to help you (for example, take a gander at my pharm cards {http://allnurses.com/nursing-student-assistance/pharmacology-flashcards-595483.html} and other things which you won't have to reproduce).

    Unfortunately, you've mostly got to work this out for yourself.

    Hang in, man.
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    Just do the best you can, I am married with children and worked 40-50 hours for the first semester. My grades acctually stayed the same once I cut down to 16 hours a week. When your busy it helps you stay focused because you know how little time you have to study. Just take it one day at a time, one assignment at a time and you will be suprised how quickly it all ends. I'm just 6 weeks from graduating and it's surreal how quickly time fly's when you busy. But I'll be praying for you none the less.
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    I just recently started nursing school (Paramedic to RN) and work as a full time Captain Paramedic and part time as a ER Tech. I can tell you, having the support of family is paramount to successfully complete any school. My wife and kids support me, and my oldest son (12) has Crohn's Disease which requires around the clock care. It is a HUGE sacrifice, but my wife stays at home and cares for him. I have struggled in the past, but when I completed my last AS Degree in Fire Science, and BS in Public Administration, my family struggled a little because I was not there for them. I think it is very important to talk out your goals with your wife and kids, let them know what you are going to be doing, and get that support. We also home school our boys 12 and 10, and feel it is such a blessing, but again, this burden (we shared before with me doing math and science) will be placed on my wife, but she is ready. It is difficult for me to relate to your wife working, and I know some people have to both work, however, the only way this works for us is my wife staying at home. I hope everything works out, and I will keep you in my prayers for wisdom. Good luck! Shane
    grpman likes this.
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    Quote from JimmyInTheSticks
    Hi I'm Jim.. I'm in my first semester of nursing and I have a problem. So far I've kept my head above water but I feel myself sinking fast. I'm married with three kids. One of our kids has autism and that is an ordeal in itself. But here's what's really bothering me. All the time I've been in school I've worked full time. My grades have often suffered for it and I can accept that now that I'm in the nursing program. The semester before I got accepted I asked my wife if she would reduce her class load and get a job so that I could reduce my work hours and possibly even quit. Like I said before my head is above water now, but it won't be for long. I work 36 hours over the weekend, prime study and paper time. Whenever I bring it up that I don't have enough time to get my stuff done she tells me that I'm trying to hold her back. What the heck am I supposed to do?
    With my wife and myself, we've agreed that Nursing school is tough. Luckily my wife works at a nursing home and has heard experiences from other nurses. At the time I have been working full-time with benefits as my wife works half-time. Many nurses have told her the demand for Nursing and actually approached me about my workload. After talking we've decided for our success, I need to finish school first and then support her later. So this is what we did. We both "talked and agreed". She will be working full-time while I go to school working half-time. I'll be working weekends only, 20 hours each week to maintain my benefits for my family. You have to talk with your wife. If she continues with her "holding her back" speech, you need to really reconsider nursing school. It's a high demand. I hope that your wife will understand. It's an investment. Sometimes investments come at an initial cost. Good Luck.


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