Nursing homes/Tampa FL

I have tried nursing homes three times, thinking I CAN DO THIS. Then I quit. The stress kills me. But then something deep down says, TRY IT AGAIN. I feel that I can do it, but with the proper training. That's just it. No one trains in very well. The DON completely IGNORED me after she hired me. Never even asked how it was going. Treated me like I was dirty, her eyes.

I need the hours nursing homes present. Eves.

I'm scared to death to make assignments for the aids. Scared I don't know what I'm doing. Scared they'll think me an idiot. I have zero self-esteem.

I love the elderly is the thing and just know once I got used to passing meds, I could do it. Thing is when I train I'm so SLOW at first b/c I don't want to make a MED ERROR. My very first night alone the RN says I have 4 admissions. WHAT???? No one showed me how, I was clueless. I was still passing 5 oclock meds at 10pm. Told them to bring in help and that I would be quiting the next day.

Jesus , take the wheel LOL.