venting-tell me what you think

Had this new admit to hospice recently, dtr had issues, don't quite know, thought the education/ emotional support went well. Pt in resp distress, agitation, dtr, not poa, only next of kin there, said no roxanol, then agreed, but the pt refused. Then, while I was there the next day, did alot more emot support/education to a son and dil and thought it went well, came back into the room & the pt sat up (elderly, many comorbidity factors) with a panicked look in her eyes and increased resp distress. I asked the pt if she would let me get & give her ativan for anxiety, and she nodded, I looked at the dtr and she nodded and I obtained and administered ativan intensol, and it was effective. A couple days later another nurse made a visit and the POA had arrived and stated, what I say goes and no ativan. Well, I found out tonight that she still hanging on, has been active for a week and I am on call and the family doesn't want me there because I " administered ativan against their will". It is the first ans only time she has had it and is now suffering from terminal agitation. I feel so bad. I feel like I have failed to educate, failed to communicate, failed the patient, and that administering a med against will is kin to assault and battery. BTW, she had previously been on xanax for anxiety attacks. ***? What is wrong here?