Please share with me your experiences with this.... - page 4

by *LA*

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Ok, well, here goes. m new here. I actually found this site when I was looking for "white nurses clogs". I googled that phrase and a journal from this site came up. ( Im going back to work soon, after being home for 4 yrs and am... Read More


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    thank you so much for your response and the links. i will be sure and share this with all my special hospice cohorts-and anyone else who ask, 'how do you do this'? oncalllorraine
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    When I was still fairly new to hospice, but beginning to catch on, I asked one of my patients if he had seen "the next world" yet.

    He said, "Yes."

    I asked him to describe it to me. He started to say something then stopped and said, "No that's not it." He tried a different approach but stopped himself again... obviously having trouble finding the right words.

    Finally he said, "Okay... 2 words... large and potent."

    Then he gave up trying to describe it.
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    To angel's assit, Near Death Awareness, I like that term.
    I AM fairly spritutal but not in the traditional christian sense:stone . Both of these stories ,about talking to some unseen person, I find very reasuring. Our understanding of the spiritual side of life is only a fraction of what I know we will enjoy when we pass over to the other side. Thanks for sharing. Katie'sangel
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    what you experienced with your mother is a common occurence during the final days and hours of dying people. Some call them "visitations" I don't think of them as hallucinations as I had an experience that made me a believer. I had a patient who kept speaking to "David" in the three days before she passed. At her memorial service there was a picture of this patient and a younger man who it turned out was her son that had died 25 years before, and his name was "David".
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    LA, your experience is nothing unusual really, when dealing with the dying, you see things like this all the time and it is very hard to explain to the family, let alone the patient. My wife used to see a little boy standing at the end of her bed, for years before she did pass, and she passed in my arms this year. to the patient, the experience is very real, and who are we to say they are not? who was the gentleman? you cal call them a guardian angel, or a lost relative, but who ever it was, he was there to offer your mother guidance, and the chance to hurt no more.
    The easiest way to describe to my patients what is going on is that they are so close to both the other side and this one, that they accept both as real worlds. Yes, there is some hallucinating going, probably due to both the meds, and the cancer. In one, they see many others around them, some are known loved ones, some seem to be strangers, and in the other is us standing here, looking confounded, and your mother thought you were going crazy for not seeing him.

    Also, that she offered you a check for your birthday was a way of her telling you that she knew she was going, and wanted to clear up something before she went. she had probaly accepted the offer from the gentleman, and was finishing something that she wanted done. I have had patients tell me they were going at a certain time of day, and do it, and others for something in general, such as waiting for their anniversary so that they can go with their loved one.

    you experienced a good, and wonderful experience of the fact that there IS something for us after this life, whether it is one religion or other, we cant say, but there is something and your mother was able to show you some signs of what she found.

    make sense? I have just got off work all night with some of my patients...so I may not have made much sense, but what you went through, is not only common, but good for her and you.
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    Speaking to and seeing people that are not there or have long ago died is a very common phenomenon among the dying. Just the other day one of my patients daughter reported that her father had thought his brother was visiting and tugging @ his hair, as he often did when they were children. and how the pt. had laughed and called out to his brother to stop and apeared to be carrying on conversations with several relatives that had passed away some time before. The patient died the very next day. As far as your saying your mother was more lucid the day before she passed is also something that one sees frequently and perhaps it was what she was doing.....its call is rallying. Its like a power more greater than our own has entervened and those that have passed on before are gathering around to lead our loved ones home. I read something one time that made me stop and think, It said: Never stand at the foot of a dying persons bed, for that spot is reserved for his or her guardian angel. I remember that phrase each time I visit one of my hospice patients and take great pains to leave that spot open.:angel2:
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    Working in a hospice house we continuously experience these situations first hand. I have so many stories in the back of my mind it's amazing. I never knew these events were called Near Death Awareness, but how appropriately named.

    I have two favorite stories. The first involves a patient who saw a famous person in his room. Had a lovely conversation with him. Then told the nurse who he had just spoken with and that the man would visit with him again soon. The nurse smiled and talked with him about it. Afterwards, she went to the office and there sitting on the counter was a magazine with this famous man on the cover. He'd just died the day before. What's more amazing? The patient had grown up in the same small town as this famous person. A week later he went to have that visit.

    The second is my favorite. We had a very young man who had died in one of our rooms. The next patient in that room was an elderly lady. There were many times in which she would ask about the lost boy that was in her room. Or say, "[Young Man's Name] wants to know where he should go." She would very often talk about this young man by name. None of this lady's family had any idea who this young man was. They knew no one of that name. It was such a common name too. She too died. No one since has mentioned this lost boy by name. Finally, one day the nurses put two and two together. They like to believe that when this young man died his spirit didn't know where to go and stayed in that room. So, when the lady came to the room he was there, waiting for guidance. And when she died herself she took him with her.

    I get chills down my spine just thinking about it. I believe this is a wonderful phenomenon the dying experience. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to disregard.

    My most precious memory. An elderly woman barely able to speak. Many children of her own. One day, days before she died, spoke clear as day, "I'll take care of the children." We all assumed she meant her child who died very young. A week after her death, both myself and another nurse found out we were pregnant. How my heart is full of happiness and sadness at this thought.

    Healthy children will not fear life if their elders have integrity enough not to fear death. ~Erik H. Erikson
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    I have a suggestion for everyone; write these stories and experiences down. The day will come when you are no longer doing this kind of work and you will start to forget.
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    I am nurse that had worked oncology and had some experiences that confirmed supernatural happenings at end of life. I kind of collect stories in media and read "final Gifts" written by hospice nurses that also confirm to me that one foot is dealing with spirit and while one foot still on earth. One interesting story is of sam kinison the comedian who died in 1992. I found the story written by someone in the car behind his and this is his story that I copied and pasted:
    Immediately after the crash, which occurred near Needles at about 7:30 p.m.,
    Kinison at first appeared fine, said friends who watched the crash from a second
    car and reported that beer cans from the pickup were strewn across the highway.
    With what appeared to be only cuts on his lips and forehead, he wrenched himself
    free from his mangled vehicle, lying down only after friends begged him to.

    "He said: 'I don't want to die, I don't want to die,' " said Carl LaBove, Kinison's best friend and
    longtime opening act, who held the comedian's bleeding head in his hands.
    Kinison paused, as if listening to a voice that LaBove could not hear.

    "But why?" asked Kinison, a former Pentecostal preacher. It sounded, LaBove
    said, as if "he was having a conversation, talking to somebody else. He was
    talking upstairs. Then I heard him go, 'OK, OK, OK.' The last 'OK' was so soft
    and at peace. . . . Whatever voice was talking to him gave him the right answer
    and he just relaxed with it. He said it so sweet, like he was talking to someone
    he loved."

    Kinison died at the scene from internal injuries, according to authorities.
    An autopsy is planned.
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    Here is a more personal story of mine. When my great uncle was in hospital my aunt had called me stating he was getting released to go home. She then told me that he was not all there mentally because he was talking with my deceased cousin and deceased grandfather while my aunt was in room. I told my aunt that he might not be hallucinating and possible he was really talking with them. Sure enough he passed away that week unexpectantly.

    Another story is of Ronald Reagan's final moments as told by his daughter Patty in the media. He had alzheimers and had not meaningfully communicated with family for some time. On the day he died they gathered around his bed. At the last breath he opened his eyes and really looked at his wife and she KNEW he was in there for just that moment to say goodbye.

    Billy Grahm's mother when she died heard beautiful music and saw the next world as she told those at her bedside when she was dying.

    Above I gave the story on sam kinison. There are many others. There is a whole website devoted to near death experiences. I have encouraged my patients to tell me stories of what happened. It is amazing what answers you get when you ask. I am a case manager now but I occasionally get patients that have traumas and come close to death. Two patients stories, One hit his head and was paralyzed by medications in hospital and heard the MD telll his wife that they may have to operate to relieve swelling/brain. He could not move but he felt overwhelming anxiety/fear and then he heard a voice tell him everything is going to be okay, he knew it was GOD and he felt/ was loved and he was told he would not need surgery. he did not need surgery and eventually did well after a few months. Another lady fell out of her car when it was moving. She states she saw her deceased father and he gave her a choice that she could come with him or stay. She felt completely loved and wanted to stay with her dad but then she thought of her young daughter and decided to stay. she awoke in hospital.


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