Think I need profesisonal help

  1. 0
    I am on anxiety and stress overload in this field. I really can't take it anymore. Over 6 years and I have recently gone nuts with it. I am in hospice and home health working 10 hour days, constantly responsibile for patients, constantly feeling like I have done something to harm them. Waking up in the middle of the night with some nagging feeling coming to me and keeping me up.

    My temper is short with my 5 year old DD (I'm a divorced single parent and she is a beautiful but very demanding difficult child) I take my PRN Xanax almost daily now, which I just started to help me when i was going through my divorce over 4 years ago and to help me sleep when i was on nightshift.

    I just don't think I can handle it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore, but am certainly in no position to change careers now.

    Help, I'm losing my mind!

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  2. 10 Comments...

  3. 3
    Your title said it all. Yes, you need professional help.

    And that's OK!

    Hospice is a specialty that takes your heart and soul to fulfill your patents needs. Working with patients that are going to die takes an extra -ordianary toll on YOUR mental health.

    You've done enough. You have given all you can. You can't do it any more. Six years of death and dying is enough for any one to handle.
    Does your agency provide the assitance you need? If not.. you are with the wrong agency.
    If you feel you are losing your mind, you are no longer able to assist the hospice patient or the family.

    And that's OK!
    You have 6 years of home health care.. you can and should move on.
    Marshall1, itsmejuli, and VivaLasViejas like this.
  4. 1
    Don't feel ashamed or put yourself down for feeling the way you do. It's ok. Your job is a beautiful one and the fact that you've done hospice for 6 years is beautiful. The reason you are taking your work home with you is because you "care". Which is the essence and foundation of being a nurse. Which is probably why you went into hospice in the first place. Just think, of you didn't care, it wouldn't bother you, and you wouldn't think twice about things.
    I think you need to go into a different area of nursing. And I know it might be hard to be as stressed as you are right now and have to start looking for another job. So, possibly seek professional help from a psychiatrist and psychologist if you aren't already. They can be tremendous help when you need it most. And if you need someone to talk to, keep coming to the forums on here or you can PM me. Good luck with everything.
    Marshall1 likes this.
  5. 2
    Sorry, I think I mislead you guys. I have been a nurse for 6 years, most of my career in ICU. I went out of bedside and back in 4 months ago as a hospice and palliative home care nurse. The profession I think just has me burnt. It is truly mentally and physically exhausting.

    Thanks for all the supportive words though. I'm just so tired and stressed and hates when it impacts my daughter.

    I am going to get help. When I find time. Just scheduled my cholecystectomy for August 30th.

    Sad, I look forward to it almost because it gives me a few days off from work.
  6. 0
    What other profession would look forward to a choley? I hope it is a lap and you can recover quickly ..while planning your future.
  7. 0
    HAHAHA! It's supposed to be a lap..... hopefully it will not convert to an open..... Knowing my luck....

    I have one week exactly off. I am returning on a FRIDAY most likely even though they are willing to write me out as long as I need. They wrote me out until the following monday, but I have seperate sick and vacation.... so I only have enough sick to make it.

    I miss my PTO time and Extended Illness Bank.

    I think I will be spending much time in bed figuring out my next career move.
  8. 0
    I think you def need to start looking at your options. I, too, am having a crisis. I feel so overwhelemed all the time, to anxious to be effective. I also suffer chronic pain for which I was on disability for 2 years. A person shouldn't have to feel like this going to their job. There has got to be some answers for you. Some options. I wish you the best.
  9. 0
    I'm sorry you are feeling the same way. On they have a list of the 10 jobs people are unhappiest with. Guess what number 3 is.I did leave the bedside and took a NM job in an LTACh which was H ell. Poorly run company. Then after lovely unemployment, I took some made up position in the Cath lab at a hospital as an outcomes manager. It was an undefined job and I had no clue what I was doing. So I left for this position. Thought I would be happier back with the patients. But the overworking, stress and anxiety is just too much. There is one job I am dying for, me and a few coworkers from my icu job applied for. Some of us got it and some ( me) didn't. Work from home. Write letters. Make your own schedule. Low stress money ok with good benefits.That job would have solved all my problems.
  10. 1
    Do get professional help, and get it as soon as possible. Believe me, if you ignore how you're feeling, things will just continue to get worse. I know a little bit about what you're going through; three years ago I burned out badly and tried to soldier through it on my own, without looking for help until things got really horrible. I'm still feeling the repercussions. I know quitting one's job isn't always an option, but don't do what I did. Find someone to talk to and go over your options with. I wish you the best.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
  11. 0
    The choley may be a blessing in can get some much needed rest and be relieved of some responsibility for at least a short period of time. I do not have children but have always wondered how people - mostly women- are able to handle/manage working FT and being a FT parent - I know - thousands do it everyday but it does not surprise me you are short tempered and exhausted - you would have to be being a caregiver 24/7, 365 between home and work.

    Have you considered working for an insurance company? Or in an outpatient surgery setting?

    The PRN medication doesn't sound like its enough..have you considered/spoken w/your doctor about something daily? Like Lexapro or similar that helps w/depression and anxiety? Someone I worked with went on Lexapro several years back for a lot of what you are describing here. For her, medication on a long term, consistent basis, gave her her life back.

    I wish you well and hope you are able to move beyond all this and into a more settled, peace filled place.

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