Hello,
I'm thinking I've posted this before a long time ago, but I am out of ideas. All last year was a blur, with several jobs but because I had excessive absences, I lost every one of them. The people who love me all wonder why I do this to myself, why I cause myself more low self-esteem, increase my fear, and scary financial distress. I wonder why myself.
I am one of those persons that as the hours draw closer to going to work, I feel horribly scared and can't sleep. I sometimes vomit. Everytime I call out, I put more financial hardship on myself.
Thnk about all the demands at work, I think of busy staff who tend to get snippy. I think of new jobs, new ways of doing things. I think of making mistakes. Generally I believe I'm a good nurse, skilled in many ways, but my thoughts and emotions get the better of me.
I am so poor and with my lack of work and absences, I get poorer. I need help. I am not taking any psychotropic meds or seeing a psychologist right now and I have no insurance. I probably should do self-study CBT or something. I'm in a job right now and I'm just starting, but I'm already missing.
Please help me. Has anyone experienced what I am experiencing? Any worthy books out there? Thanks so much.
Scared