This is rather difficult for me, so please be gentle. I have recently been dx'd with bipolar disorder, which explains a lot when it comes to my behaviors, thoughts, volatile moods, etc. My question is: What chance do I really have of being successful in nursing, considering the extreme stressors that are ever-present in nursing? I am supposed to stick to a "regular" routine, limit stress, (AAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA!!!), and try to keep my life on a even keel. Nursing seems to be the evil twin of all that I'm supposed to avoid. I am on my 4th job, but have only had a license for 18 months. I start somewhere new, and all goes well for the first couple of months, then I fall apart and my job performance and attitude nosedives into the "I-don't-give-a-rat's-ass" realm of complacency, then I quit. (For the record, I
always make sure my resident's are taken care of, it's the politics and paperwork that I become neglectful of). I have been at my new job for 2 months on nights, and have already had 2 call-offs. It's not fair for my co-workers to have to cover my ridiculous butt. However, there are days I simply can't bring myself to go. Then I feel guilt. Most days, it's a chore just to get ready for work, then I'm mad I have to go, then want to cry when I have to leave my family, and don't settle into "work mode" until a couple of hours into shift. After that, I'm usually OK. (Save for the occasional snippiness at other co-workers, then I feel guilt again). My insurance doesn't kick in until September. When it does I plan to run to the nearest therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist. My family MD has started me on Depakote, which has helped some, but I'm far from "better". I don't even know if this is the best place to find info on this issue, but I've searched the 'net and have only found forums that seem to focus mostly on office-type workers. One last question: Is there any type of nursing that is less stressful and more stable (as far as scheduling and intensity of stress) than skilled/LTC type nursing? Mind you I'm not looking for the "oasis in the desert" of nursing, but something more tolerable has to be out there. Thank you in advance for any help at all.