Hey,
I am trying so hard to stay motivated and positive but it seems the more I try to get out of the hole. The worst it gets. I am halfway finished with pre-reqs and moving onto my science classes starting the summer semester and I am scared. I was doing very well Summer and fall 08 semesters, received an A in all classes but this semester I am barely passing my Algebra class, although I got an A in gen psy. I think I am losing my confidence that I can do this.
I feel very stressed, unmotivated and tired all the time. I suffer from mild depression and managed to get it under control for the past 2 years with vigorous diet and excercise but since Christmas of last year, I have been in a funk. I am not watching what I am eating (type 2 Diabetes) and barely walk anymore. My personal life is really getting to me and I feel like all I do is work full time and school part time. Since I am a little older I have to study extra hard to retain the information. I have finals next week and I honestly don't want to pick up a book, I almost don't care if I don't pass my math class. I am tired! My house is filthy, my yard needs mowing and I can't get off the couch.
I am a single mom raising my 16 year old daughter and our relationship is really rocky at this moment. I feel like she hates me, and honestly I don't like her much right now . She doesn't help me with the house chores, very disrespectful and Always has an attitude. I can't say anything to her without her giving me a nasty remark back, unless she wants something. I am tired of arguing so I just try to avoid her as much as possible. It's only us in the house, why can't we get along, I feel so alone and I can't stop crying.
I have been single for 10 years and I really miss the intimacy of a significant other and the support, financially and emotionally, but now I don't have time for anyone with my crazy schedule. I guess I tried to compensate by buying a dog, but she has been more trouble than I can handle. I got her as a guard dog to protect my home because I was starting to feel unsafe, but low and behold my house gets robbed anyway about 3 weeks ago. I mean ***!!!! She was in her crate in the garage, I was still house training her. Today I find out that my next door neighbor was arrested for breaking and entering a beauty salon at night, what a coincidence, he probably robbed my house. He was renting a home next to mine, I thought he was a little strange.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I have got to find a way to get motivated and get back to my diet and exercise routine. I know this will help me stay focused on my goal, and I have 3 weeks before summer semester to get off my rump. I really need to get this nursing degree and I don't want anything to distract me from my goal but damn it's hard! I guess I just needed to vent
Thanks for reading