She's making me nutz.....

duckie · Jun 15, 2001

I confess I often use the terms "sweetie" and "honey". I love my residents very much and think of them as family, and I often refer to my family this way. I have been on the same unit at the same LTC facility going on 6 years. I've seen many residents come and go, but before they do, we learn to love each other. Sometimes it just feels right. Like last night...I have a resident that cries all the time. She could lead a much better quality life but she chooses to cry and very seldom ever sleeps for more than a few minutes at a time then she wakes up crying again. I feel it is because she is scared. At times it is very frustrating not being able to calm her, as when she cries she won't tell you why. Other times she's very with it. Last night I had several other residents complaining that she was making so much noise. I went in to speak with her, to try and calm her and nothing I said helped. I just closed my eyes and said, "God please help me find a way to help her." I pulled her side rail down, laid down beside her and held her in my arms, gently rubbing her face and I sang gospel songs to her. Within 15 minutes she was sound asleep and she slept for over four hours. As I held her I called her endearing names many times, for I wanted her to feel loved. I don't feel that the way I spoke to her was not respectful but instead it made her feel loved and secure. I think it all depends on who says it and how it is said, as many other posters have stated.

newangelofmercy · Jun 15, 2001

Duckie, That was such a wonderful story about laying with the crying lady. That was such a sweet and caring thing to do. I wish I were that bold as I often feel that tenderly toward my residents. My hat is off to you. :)

Heather Plate · Jun 16, 2001

HI EVERYONE, ITS GREAT TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE SO MANY NURSES OUT THERE WHO CARE SO DEEPLY FOR THERE RESIDENTS. I AGREE THAT WE ARE DIFFERENT THAN THE HOSPITAL NURSE BECAUSE WE DO HAVE THE CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW OUR RESIDENTS AND THERE FAMILIES OVER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME. BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT I AM SAYING THAT WE CARE MORE THAN HOSPITAL NURSES BECAUSE THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN. I JUST THINK THE WAY WE VEIW THE PEOPLE WE CARE FOR IS DIFFERENT. AFTER READING ALL THE REPLYS I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT IT IS OK TO USE A ENDEARMENT WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. I AGREE THAT NOT EVERYONE WOULD WELCOME THAT TYPE OF WORDING AND I THINK WE HAVE A FEEL FOR WHO THEY ARE. THE PART ABOUT SPELLING WORDS IN FRONT OF THE RESIDENTS OR USING "BABY" LANGUAGE IS STRONGLY DISAGREEABLE! JUST BECAUSE THEY CANNOT COMMUNICATE AS THEY ONCE HAVE DOES NOT MEAN THEY HAVE LOST THERE INTELLEGENCE, LIFE LEARNING EXPERENCES, OR THERE NEED FOR RESPECT. THEY HAVE LIVED MORE AND SEEN MORE OF LIFE THAN MANY OF US HAVE YET AND THAT ALONE DEMANDS RESPECT!! SO, HEATHER(THE OTHER HEATHER) I AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT TREATING THEM LIKE CHILDREN. THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR CARING HANDS AND HEARTS OF OUR ELDER POPULATION!!

Heather27 · Jun 17, 2001

YES, HeatherP...what you wrote above was my point EXACTLY! :) Now..am I the "other" Heather or are you? LOL

janleb · Jun 17, 2001

Duckie, what a kind caring person you are. I have tears in my eyes as I read it. I want to go into geriatrics when I graduate. On down the line a geriatric nurse pract. I feel these people need all the love and respect that we can give. When I did my clinicals at a local LTC. I could tell the nurses that really cared and the ones who didn't. Sometimes little kindnesses is all it takes. J

Heather Plate · Jun 18, 2001

HEATHER27, I THINK I AM THE OTHER HEATHER CAUSE I AM PERTTY NEW TO THE BB. REALLY ENJOYED THIS TOPIC BECAUSE IT MADE US ALL THINK ABOUT HOW WE SEE THE RESIDENTS AND OURSELVES. GERIATRIC NURSING IS A VERY SPECIAL AREA, ITS NOT FOR EVEYONE BUT FOR THOSE WHO LOVE, ITS GREAT.

Catsrule16, RN · Jun 18, 2001

Take it from the voice of experience, if a state surveyor hears you calling residents honey or sweetie or some other nickname, and the resident hasn't given permission and/or is care planned for it, they will cite you under dignity... F 241 of the regs. :mad: I know it seems rediculous but it happens. Would you want to be called sweetie, darling, etc.?

Heather27 · Jun 18, 2001

Catsrule...by friends and loved ones?? Sure...all the time. I don't mind a bit. Oh, and...surveyors..HAH...one MORE reason I like nursing in CANADA eh..LOL

Actually..our accreditation was just renewed again...one of the accreditors comments was "What a nice sense of family here"...I dont' think she got that from us calling people ONLY "Mrs.X" etc.

HeatherP...heheh...I HAVE been here a while, haven't I!!??!! (I just love 'bshort' hehe)

vampcna · Aug 15, 2011

I call most of my long term residents honey, sweetheart,etc... I do this, not to be

condescending, but simply because I have been caring for them for a while and

I really care about them. I call new patients by their first names unless they

seem to be standoffish, and then I will call them by their "proper" names. I don't

treat my patients as nameless,faceless burdens as so many of my coworkers

seem to. I tend to get very close to my patients( sometimes I fear to close).

But I would rather care too much and use pet names with my patients than to

be uncaring and proper. And I have never had a patient complain about being

called honey.