Pushy family members??

mwaldon · Jul 22, 2005

in reply to the "nervous" or "bossy" family, what I have found to help is give this family lots of attention for about a week. Have a CNA or nurse or anyone make frequent room checks and reassure the families. I believe once they realize that you are attentive.. they can let their "gaurd" down. Families are usually difficult when they feel guilty that their loved ones are in a home or they are afraid of the horror stories they have heard. But once they are reassured and feel comfortable.. they usually fade away!

grannynurse FNP student · Jul 22, 2005

This is a good example of the "us vs. them" mentality that we often see...And this is coming from a nurse educator.It's great to be involved in your care or that of your loved one but don't automatically assume that all floor nurses are dumb -we aren't...Those of us out there know that re-assuring family members (over and over again ) often must come dead last on the long list of things to do....
These people may not have ever experienced any type of mistake-they just have NO idea what the nurse's responsibilities are.....If they don't recognize us as professionals they will tend to look down on us and consider themselves of superior intelligence....It is often a control issue masked with concern...Once you figure that out it's easy to let the problem loved one THINK they are in control and you highly value their input....while you go on and do what you have to do..

I was involved, in monitoring my parents care, because of errors I had observed. And not because I assumed that all floor nurses were dumb---those are your words, not mine. And I am surprised that you place communication, with a patient and/or family members, at the dead end of a long list of things to do. I have always held that communication is at the top of one's list, it helps solve any potential problems.

As for the rest of your comments, I am the one who is in charge of my care. And should I BE INCAPABLE OF ASSUMING THAT CONTROL, my daughter holds my health proxy. And when I practiced bedside nursing, I never assumed control over my patients. And I never battled with a patient or family member over control issues. It was one, that while I might win, in the short run, I would lose and the patient would lose.

Grannynurse :balloons:

chicagrl72 · Jul 22, 2005

Guess some of you would just hate me then. I have monitored my parents hospital admissions for one reason, and one reason only, errors. Errors by the nursing staff add to the number of days a patient is hospitalized and complications. I would venture to guess, a member of this family has had a negative experience, either themself or someone they love, in a hospital. And now watch in an attempt to ensure that it does not ahppen again. I would suggest, that instead of complaining, one ask the family why. They might just need reassurance.
Grannynurse :balloons:

ahh yes but I remember when my grandmother was terminally ill my relatives became "experts" at what the nurses and doctors SHOULD be doing ..there is a lot more to the story ..basically none of them were working and living off money that was my grandmothers but still THEY were ALWAYS up in the hospital staffs' faces ..it was disgusting to me ..there is only so much you can do ...as a family member of a pt I know that everyone was stressed, emotional etc but there are those family members that really just do become too demanding

chicagrl72 · Jul 22, 2005

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

now that IS a bit out there !

I've got one. I work in a large MR DDS facility. We have one young man who's family is very involved. He has numerous allergies ( according to mom ). One day she called, said her sister, who lived in another state, had a sinus headache, could we give her son some Tylenol cause he probably had one too.
sheri

nursethumper · Jul 22, 2005

Guess some of you would just hate me then. I have monitored my parents hospital admissions for one reason, and one reason only, errors. Errors by the nursing staff add to the number of days a patient is hospitalized and complications. I would venture to guess, a member of this family has had a negative experience, either themself or someone they love, in a hospital. And now watch in an attempt to ensure that it does not ahppen again. I would suggest, that instead of complaining, one ask the family why. They might just need reassurance.
Grannynurse :balloons:

I am a pre-nursing student who has had to advocate for her father as he has been in the hospital for the last 9 months. I could write 6 pages of problems/errors that I have seen. I have to admit I cringed at times the way my mom handled some things but many of them have been life treatening(CBG 31-told he ate his breakfast and hr earlier and given no insulin) and still are a problem today(dq). It is the incompetantcy that I witnessed and downright lies I witnessed that infuriate me to this day and for that reason I will do my best to allow the family its say in matters of their loved ones care. Granted we as a family were better informed than many and thus could justify what we saw/wanted but people do what they think they need to do in desparate situations. At least I will presume they are not just out to *****, although I know this happens.