I had a patient yesterday ask if I could take her glasses to the eye shop, get them repaired, bring them back, and then just bill her the cost. I am sorry miss, but I am a nurse, not an errand runner. I had another patient ask if I would mind bathing and trimming her dog. Normally I might have considered, but this was the same dog she had to lock up because it bit the first nurse that came to the house.
And of course, my all time favorite, asked repeatedly throughout my career: "Nurse, I coughed some stuff up (insert time frame ranging from 1 week to 1 day ago here), and I saved it so you can look at it". I usually just tell people that mucous is the only thing that makes me queasy, and why don't they just use their words to describe it to me so I don't throw up.