I graduated in August of 2012 and finally got one single job offer - weekend RN supervisor at a local nursing home. I was scared to death not to take it, and scared to death to take it. I took it.
At first, I did only wound care and supervising every other weekend. Soon my DON asked me to come in for 12 more hours a week to help with care plans and MDS's. I was paying my bills and student loans and putting money in the bank! It seemed ideal.
Then our census went down and they cut my 12 extra hours. They still called me in when the treatment nurse or DON was out, so I still managed to pay my bills.
Next on the list of things to learn was floor nursing. The first night I worked, the med aide had to come in and help me finish passing pills! She only did it because she likes me, she said. I didn't cry, thankfully, but I wanted to, and the experience made me start to hate my job.
They started calling me in to work the same hall on day shift from time to time, and I got a little better, but it's so very hard when you do something only occasionally. I got to where I didn't dislike it so much and even started to have time to actually eat lunch.
The last time I got called in, it was a different hall, and it's the hall everyone says is the hardest. Several residents were starting antibiotics, which I had to get from the emergency box, which takes time, and there were so many new drugs and drops and patches, etc. I was lost! Thankfully, the next nurse came a little early and helped me out and it got done, but it was pretty horrible and I hate adding to someone else's workload.
Here is the crux of this message: I have been working as an RN for a year and there is a long list of skills I still do not have.
1) IV medications and starts
2) sending a resident out to the hospital
3) inserting a Foley by myself
4) blood draws
5) I have never actually spoken to a doctor about a resident!
6) breathing treatments!
I'm afraid if I don't work the hall when they call me, they will stop calling at all and I won't be able to survive on my two weekends a month. I don't think I can get a different job, because of my lack of skills.
I want to have a plan in place for advancement or learning, but so far I don't. I feel so bad about myself when I come in from floor nursing. My self-esteem is very low. I guess I'm asking for encouragement and/or suggestions on how to get better or find another part-time position.