Way older than clinical instructor?

emmy · Mar 19, 2004

Hi joey1967

Remember Nursing School isn't forever.

Just think to the time when, and you will, qualify and you'll be doing a job that you have worked soo hard to do and want soo much to do.

Chin up, we're here whenever you need support! :)

orrnlori, RN · Mar 19, 2004

You obviously set high standards for yourself. This is a double edged sword, it can give you confidence, it can also tear you up when you encounter those (friends and foes alike) who want to tear you down, and you start to doubt. Quit listening to the nay-sayers.

Whenever I think I'm about to get upset over a passing comment or a look from someone (another nurse!) that I can't quit figure out, I just always think to myself, do I really believe they are giving as much thought to this as I am? You are agonizing over this teacher and he probably doesn't even give you a second thought once you are out of his site. Think about that. You are just another student to him, he is not going home at night and thinking about this, trust me.

I understand you don't want to play games, but I'll tell you that the world of medicine revolves many times around these games. You either deal with it, or you take your toys and go home. Do you really think that physicians are going to care about hurting your feelings, they don't give most nurses a second thought.

There are other students who have to play besides nursing students. My son is in college, he has friends in the architectural program, pre-med, law school, etc. They all have to play. I know nursing students think they are the only ones who have such crap to put up with, I used to think that way too, but they aren't. It's actually part of the higher educational system itself. It's the way the American system is set up, student against student, teacher against student, teacher against teacher. If you think instructors don't have to play games within the administration they are in you would be wrong.

Only you can define if you have what it takes to get through school. You can determine whether they win this game or you win. Take the weekend to do some deep breathing and mind clearing. We've all been there, trust me. Can you do it? You thought when you went into this you could. Know what? I think you were right, you can do it.

And one other thing, please don't take offense. You're just a baby in this game of "nursing standards" as you put it. While you have some theory under your belt and some clinicals, don't assume you really know much about nursing yet and can pass judgement about licensed nurses' practice. Nursing school really doesn't prepare you for the real world. The "nursing standards" you hold now as a student have little to do with doing real nursing. You are still in the idealogical stage where you think you know more than you really know. This 25 year old kid that is your teacher knows so much more than you do. Rather than look for things you judge he does wrong, look at the things he does right and knows. You may someday look back and see you were very wrong about him. I know I had teachers I thought didn't know much about "real nursing" because I knew the book backwards and forwards. Well, I now know that they were pretty darned sharp and a lot of what was in my nursing texts were systems of theory that don't exist in the real world of nursing. That's just a tip.

I think you will be fine if you just quit doubting yourself and start running with the ball. It will all be over before you know it. :)

orrnlori, RN · Mar 19, 2004

You obviously set high standards for yourself. This is a double edged sword, it can give you confidence, it can also tear you up when you encounter those (friends and foes alike) who want to tear you down, and you start to doubt. Quit listening to the nay-sayers.

Whenever I think I'm about to get upset over a passing comment or a look from someone (another nurse!) that I can't quit figure out, I just always think to myself, do I really believe they are giving as much thought to this as I am? You are agonizing over this teacher and he probably doesn't even give you a second thought once you are out of his site. Think about that. You are just another student to him, he is not going home at night and thinking about this, trust me.

I understand you don't want to play games, but I'll tell you that the world of medicine revolves many times around these games. You either deal with it, or you take your toys and go home. Do you really think that physicians are going to care about hurting your feelings, they don't give most nurses a second thought.

There are other students who have to play besides nursing students. My son is in college, he has friends in the architectural program, pre-med, law school, etc. They all have to play. I know nursing students think they are the only ones who have such crap to put up with, I used to think that way too, but they aren't. It's actually part of the higher educational system itself. It's the way the American system is set up, student against student, teacher against student, teacher against teacher. If you think instructors don't have to play games within the administration they are in you would be wrong.

Only you can define if you have what it takes to get through school. You can determine whether they win this game or you win. Take the weekend to do some deep breathing and mind clearing. We've all been there, trust me. Can you do it? You thought when you went into this you could. Know what? I think you were right, you can do it.

And one other thing, please don't take offense. You're just a baby in this game of "nursing standards" as you put it. While you have some theory under your belt and some clinicals, don't assume you really know much about nursing yet and can pass judgement about licensed nurses' practice. Nursing school really doesn't prepare you for the real world. The "nursing standards" you hold now as a student have little to do with doing real nursing. You are still in the idealogical stage where you think you know more than you really know. This 25 year old kid that is your teacher knows so much more than you do. Rather than look for things you judge he does wrong, look at the things he does right and knows. You may someday look back and see you were very wrong about him. I know I had teachers I thought didn't know much about "real nursing" because I knew the book backwards and forwards. Well, I now know that they were pretty darned sharp and a lot of what was in my nursing texts were systems of theory that don't exist in the real world of nursing. That's just a tip.

I think you will be fine if you just quit doubting yourself and start running with the ball. It will all be over before you know it. :)

Carolanne · Mar 19, 2004

This instructor really has you in a tizzy. He may be a total jerk, I don't know. I think you are letting him make you feel too insecure. I was 40 when I started clinicals and I had several instructors in their mid to late 20's. And I had two male instructors. I didn't have a problem with any of them. If anything, the old blue-haired bat instructors were the problems. You are a mature and educated woman and this guy has just blow your self confidence to bits. I know you will make it through this and do a great job in school, finish and become a fine nurse. Quit letting this guy take away what you have worked for, don't let him rent space in your brain. Smile, bend over backwards, do whatever you have to do but beat him at his own game in such a way that he doesn't even know you won. You need to let this go. There's much work to do. Don't assign motives to people or you'll drive yourself crazy. You two obviously have some kind of personality clash. Don't let that get in the way of what you want and what you've worked for. Quit worrying about being older, you will make a better nurse because of your maturity and grace than any 20 year old. You may very well have other young instructors. Don't assume they are judging you and don't you judge them. School is soooooo tough. Don't make it tougher. :)

Orrnlori, I love your style! You are RIGHT ON! I hope your posts have helped Joey, I know they strengthened me! It's so true that we go around kicking ourselves over a ripple in the pond that someone has caused us. We can carry the baggage around for EVER, and the offender hasn't given it a second thought since. We create our own monsters which peck away at our self esteem. I admit to being guilty of this too in the past, I was convinced that my second semester instructor was out to make my life hell. She was older than I, a real salty, no nonsense woman who smiled less times than I could count on one hand during the entire semester. Anyway, she really did a job on my head (I love your wording "rented space in my brain!") and it took me a LONG time to get over her. But I woke up one morning and the light bulb clicked ... I'm still in school and still passing and doing well and it's all because of my own effort and determination to make this work, and not she or anyone else can knock that down!! So here I am ready to graduate in May and I still occasionally see this instructor on campus. She now speaks to me like a peer, smiling warmly, asking me what my plans are after graduation. It is a complete turn around, it almost floors me. Anyway, thanks, Orrnlori, for putting things into perspective for us. "Mature Educated Wo(men)" of the world unite!!!

Carolanne · Mar 19, 2004

This instructor really has you in a tizzy. He may be a total jerk, I don't know. I think you are letting him make you feel too insecure. I was 40 when I started clinicals and I had several instructors in their mid to late 20's. And I had two male instructors. I didn't have a problem with any of them. If anything, the old blue-haired bat instructors were the problems. You are a mature and educated woman and this guy has just blow your self confidence to bits. I know you will make it through this and do a great job in school, finish and become a fine nurse. Quit letting this guy take away what you have worked for, don't let him rent space in your brain. Smile, bend over backwards, do whatever you have to do but beat him at his own game in such a way that he doesn't even know you won. You need to let this go. There's much work to do. Don't assign motives to people or you'll drive yourself crazy. You two obviously have some kind of personality clash. Don't let that get in the way of what you want and what you've worked for. Quit worrying about being older, you will make a better nurse because of your maturity and grace than any 20 year old. You may very well have other young instructors. Don't assume they are judging you and don't you judge them. School is soooooo tough. Don't make it tougher. :)

Orrnlori, I love your style! You are RIGHT ON! I hope your posts have helped Joey, I know they strengthened me! It's so true that we go around kicking ourselves over a ripple in the pond that someone has caused us. We can carry the baggage around for EVER, and the offender hasn't given it a second thought since. We create our own monsters which peck away at our self esteem. I admit to being guilty of this too in the past, I was convinced that my second semester instructor was out to make my life hell. She was older than I, a real salty, no nonsense woman who smiled less times than I could count on one hand during the entire semester. Anyway, she really did a job on my head (I love your wording "rented space in my brain!") and it took me a LONG time to get over her. But I woke up one morning and the light bulb clicked ... I'm still in school and still passing and doing well and it's all because of my own effort and determination to make this work, and not she or anyone else can knock that down!! So here I am ready to graduate in May and I still occasionally see this instructor on campus. She now speaks to me like a peer, smiling warmly, asking me what my plans are after graduation. It is a complete turn around, it almost floors me. Anyway, thanks, Orrnlori, for putting things into perspective for us. "Mature Educated Wo(men)" of the world unite!!!

orrnlori, RN · Mar 19, 2004

I posted this somewhere else but I will re-state it here. I hated nursing school, felt all the things that the students state here. But then one day I made up my mind that they were going to have to drag me from the building the put my butt in the middle of the street before I was going to give up, and from then on my determination took care of everything else.

I also experienced an instructor that was just plain sour. No one did anything right, no one was on the ball enough to answer questions the way she wanted. We just couldn't please her. When I went into the second year she also changed to teaching the second year, I was p*ssed. I didn't want to deal with her again. But my, what a difference a year made. Suddenly we were treated with respect, our thoughts considered, our answers right. I actually hugged her at our pinning ceremony. She still teaches clinicals where I work and I see her from time to time. Now there's a smile that wasn't there before and I always get a hug.

It's hard to see the forest for the trees when you are under such stress, but the forest is really there. Sometimes you just have to make the leap and build your wings on the way down.

Glad my post helped. I hope it helps joey as well. You see, I want to be an instructor someday and I hope to never forget what hell school was and hope to be the type of instructor that inspires all students and never lets them down. :)

orrnlori, RN · Mar 19, 2004

I posted this somewhere else but I will re-state it here. I hated nursing school, felt all the things that the students state here. But then one day I made up my mind that they were going to have to drag me from the building the put my butt in the middle of the street before I was going to give up, and from then on my determination took care of everything else.

I also experienced an instructor that was just plain sour. No one did anything right, no one was on the ball enough to answer questions the way she wanted. We just couldn't please her. When I went into the second year she also changed to teaching the second year, I was p*ssed. I didn't want to deal with her again. But my, what a difference a year made. Suddenly we were treated with respect, our thoughts considered, our answers right. I actually hugged her at our pinning ceremony. She still teaches clinicals where I work and I see her from time to time. Now there's a smile that wasn't there before and I always get a hug.

It's hard to see the forest for the trees when you are under such stress, but the forest is really there. Sometimes you just have to make the leap and build your wings on the way down.

Glad my post helped. I hope it helps joey as well. You see, I want to be an instructor someday and I hope to never forget what hell school was and hope to be the type of instructor that inspires all students and never lets them down. :)

Altra, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2004

"Mature Educated Wo(men)" of the world unite!!!

I may make that my Thought For the Day! :chuckle Thanks!

Altra, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2004

"Mature Educated Wo(men)" of the world unite!!!

I may make that my Thought For the Day! :chuckle Thanks!

joey1967 · Mar 19, 2004

Heh All,

I hear you loud and clear :) and do agree with everyone. But (oh, oh here is the doubting Thomas But..), the problem right now is that he has threatend to fail me this clinical. I've chewed on this the last few days and frankly this is what is driving me nuts. I have no control over what he choses to do in three weeks. I called the school yesterday, indicating that I am still unclear as to what areas I need to improve on since none have been provided. I don't have a learning contract, which is normally given out so that there are estabilished guidelines that must be met and agreed upon between clinical instructor and student. So I have nothing to follow, no idea where I might be lacking, no idea what he finds so unacceptable, he has all the power. His out is that I am sick and banned from the unit, and his hands are tied and there is nothing he can do about it. So, if I work my ass off for the next three weeks straight (which is about120 ours of clinical time), great but in the end he has the reason to justify failing me i.e. I was sick, there wasn't enough time to determine my competencies. It is unfortunate the university has allowed invidual instructors to determine, in cases like this, whether a student goes on or gets behind a year. A whole year is alot, it means extra finances, which frankly, I'm not sure I can come up with. I am soooo mad at myself right now for not playing the game sooner. I am sooo mad for coming down with this bloody virus. I have worked and toiled my butt off for 7 months and now this. I was instructed to go to the associate dean with this concern i.e. no learning plan in place to help me improve, but I am worried that if I do, I'll rock the boat with my instructor even further. Boy, it really is hard to accept that a total stranger has complete control over what happens with your life. I've resloved the fact that the best I can do is do my best. I do agree that I know very little about nursing, and even less about what really goes on out of school. However, unless I'm given a plan to follow to improve , I"m like a chicken with my head cut off, running around a unit, caring for patients, looking over their back for the instructor, to figure out what I'm being assessed on. Hmm, I think I'm working myself up again. Thanks for letting me vent. :angryfire

joey1967 · Mar 19, 2004

Heh All,

I hear you loud and clear :) and do agree with everyone. But (oh, oh here is the doubting Thomas But..), the problem right now is that he has threatend to fail me this clinical. I've chewed on this the last few days and frankly this is what is driving me nuts. I have no control over what he choses to do in three weeks. I called the school yesterday, indicating that I am still unclear as to what areas I need to improve on since none have been provided. I don't have a learning contract, which is normally given out so that there are estabilished guidelines that must be met and agreed upon between clinical instructor and student. So I have nothing to follow, no idea where I might be lacking, no idea what he finds so unacceptable, he has all the power. His out is that I am sick and banned from the unit, and his hands are tied and there is nothing he can do about it. So, if I work my ass off for the next three weeks straight (which is about120 ours of clinical time), great but in the end he has the reason to justify failing me i.e. I was sick, there wasn't enough time to determine my competencies. It is unfortunate the university has allowed invidual instructors to determine, in cases like this, whether a student goes on or gets behind a year. A whole year is alot, it means extra finances, which frankly, I'm not sure I can come up with. I am soooo mad at myself right now for not playing the game sooner. I am sooo mad for coming down with this bloody virus. I have worked and toiled my butt off for 7 months and now this. I was instructed to go to the associate dean with this concern i.e. no learning plan in place to help me improve, but I am worried that if I do, I'll rock the boat with my instructor even further. Boy, it really is hard to accept that a total stranger has complete control over what happens with your life. I've resloved the fact that the best I can do is do my best. I do agree that I know very little about nursing, and even less about what really goes on out of school. However, unless I'm given a plan to follow to improve , I"m like a chicken with my head cut off, running around a unit, caring for patients, looking over their back for the instructor, to figure out what I'm being assessed on. Hmm, I think I'm working myself up again. Thanks for letting me vent. :angryfire

zambezi, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2004

I think that your situations stinks...however, I do not think that you are alone...When I was in school, we had the same kind of situation...if we missed more than 3 clinical days we didn't pass the clinical portion. I know that this happened to at least one person...I think that somone else was close but when she got better she had to work out some make up days (which not everyone can do because of liability issues, etc within the hospital). I do not know your situation (other than that is stinks because really...it is not like you are skipping class because you want too)...however, I can see just a little bit where the instructor is coming from...clinical time is for clinical-it is not the same as doing a report or bookwork. Some facilities won't allow you to do make up time on your own due to legal purposes, no clinical faculty available, etc. I hope it gets worked out in your favor...I would have been equally irate if life had thrown that in the way of my school...talk with someone about make up days, see if it is possible...work hard in the next three weeks...try to talk with him (and another instructor, if possible) about what you need to do to pass. Ask what skills you need to accomplish it that time. REad your syllabus to find out what is expected.

If you do have to fail the clinical portion...try to take the non-clinical classes each term (this was allowed for the student that had to fail due to missing clinicals at my school). She took the policy/ethics/etc: the non clinical classes and got them out of the way so the next year all she had to take was the clinical portions...Anyway, hope it gets figured out soon...

ORRNLORI--you had some great, very valid posts...