Really At Lost With My Girlfriend (Nursing Student) - page 3
by ffrraanncciiss 4,825 Views | 32 Comments
I've been here before asking for advice. I hate to sound like I'm complaining, but I'm not. I just want to vent. I'm really ****** hurt. Excuse my language. Today was supposed to be a special day. We talked about it for a... Read More
- 0Jan 19, '13 by WantToBeMidwifeThe fact that you are asking for advice says a lot. Give her time and space to rest, and let her know you'll be there when she has the energy to spend time together. Let her feel supported, but don't smother. Good luck and relax and enjoy the time you DO get with her!!!
- 0Jan 19, '13 by ndavis1672I think you do care, but you don't really understand how demanding it is unless you have been there. It's hard to.find a balance of things. I have a husband, 5 kids and go to school full time. I have had to sacrifice my time with them and.vice versa, but I do it to make a career for myself and a better life for my family. They understand and like me can see the bigger picture. My husband has stepped up to take care of almost everything I used to do because he knows how.important it is to ME. Maybe you need to.show her you do understand. It sounds like there might be a little insecurity there, like if she isn't spend enough time with you she might find someone else, believe me she doesn't have time for that either. If you keep pouting or complaining about "not enough time" she'll stop making time for you, she is trying to make a future for herself be the man, support her and understand even when you don't, she needs it.
- 1Jan 19, '13 by Spidey's mom GuideI think life is full of stress and I'm not sure there is anything unique about studying to be a nurse vs. studying something else.
But I also think both sides could do more FOR each other than TO each other. Is there a way you could help her out? Show up at her place and do a chore? Make her dinner? Mow her lawn? Get her a glass of wine (my dh is doing that as I type).
And she could think of things to do FOR you as well.
Sometimes, that something could be some space.
Truly, stewing about things just make it more stressful.
- 0Jan 19, '13 by ffrraanncciissQuote from GrnTeaThat is something I actually do from time to time. I recently made her a bouquet of origami flowers. Also, I love her earrings. Personally, I like dangling earrings more than studs, but she doesn't like them.You guys sound very young and inexperienced in adult relationships compared to people in their thirties or older. This is how we learned, however, and now it's your turn. So here's my advice.
Bring her flowers once a month or so --- nothing huge and expensive, just a rosebud or two and some greens, a few paperwhite narcissus bulbs in a bowl of marbles to sprout (ask the florist), some daffodils in the spring, and leave them in water on the kitchen table without comment.
After that, there's my very favorite Dave Barry quotation: " 'Shut up,' he explained."
Anyways, for anyone that cares, we worked it out. I think the reason she reacted negatively was because she was frustrated. Fair enough. I was very ignorant about that possibility.
I do offer my help. I've let her know I can do some med cards for her, whatever. Just a few hours ago, I sat by her while she did an online quiz. I do try my best. It's really ****** that we had to go through that.
Anywho, I just wanted to say thanks and I admire the crap out of you guys. I light up whenever I run into nursing students in my own school ever since I met her. I did not know this program demanded so much. Props.
- 2Jan 19, '13 by Bortaz, RNQuote from SoonToBeRN2013He stated in another thread that she's already failed a semester. In most schools, that's the final chance she'll get. Now he's pulling this emotional sabotage on her. I will not be surprised when she fails out.Wow poor guy asked for help and everyone downgrades him! I think that you just want to feel like you still mean something to her! Nursing school is hard believe me - I'm two semesters away from graduating! I have four children and a husband and still find time to spend with them! Give her some space! It is frustrating in nursing school! Just do the best you can by standing behind her and supporting her to get through this! Show her that you are her biggest fan! Love her!
- 0Jan 19, '13 by cannolisYou need to hang in there and be her support system. Even if there is just no time for the fun stuff, you need to avoid giving her pressure and support her. Nursing is her future and right now she's going through a very important part in order to get there. She definitely doesn't need a headache or heartache. So, just understand that right now its not about you. It might not even be about the ”us” (as in you and her both) as much as she would probably like it to be. Theres no reason for you to be upset, at all.
- 0Jan 20, '13 by Jinx322From the day that I was accepted into nursing school I told my boyfriend, who is now my fiance, that he will be a single father until my graduation. We have 2 little ones, and even though he knew I was joking there was some truth to the comment. Nursing school is like no other and you've obviously seen that spelled out in the numerous replies that you've received, but it's the truth. I don't get to spend nearly HALF the time I would like with my fiance or children. This has cause little arguments here and there but nothing serious since we both knew what we were getting into, it was just the frustration that things had changed. If you truly want her to be successful in her course and graduate you have to back off a little. Understand that she's not ignoring you on purpose, it's just that nursing school is draining mentally, physically, and emotionally, but in the end it will all be worth it.
Hang in there!
- 1Jan 20, '13 by BirryWhat it comes down to is that your needs aren't being met. It really isn't fair that you're being vilified on here for that, but people will project their own feelings onto these things.
If you can handle the temporary suckiness of a relationship through a rigorous curriculum, you might just look to the future and try to not let these things get to you. Because it will happen again.
If you can't get over things like this, then the difficult choice will be whether you should continue to try to squeeze more out of this relationship than you've been getting, or look to getting your needs met somewhere else. There's nothing wrong with admitting that it's not working and exiting before things get ugly and you both truly resent each other. People will try to make you feel guilty for pursuing your own needs, but in the end you are only accountable to yourself. It doesn't make you a bad person. And leaving gracefully would always allow the possibility of getting back together sometime down the road, when you each have adequate time for each other.