HI All, I felt so deflated after my lectures today. There are 2 nursing instructors in my program who give me the distinct feeling that they don't think much of me. I'm not constantly obsessing about it, but the seed has been planted in my subconscious...it has brought down my feelings about everything connected with nursing school, and even contributed to doubts about whether nursing is really for me...
It's crazy because I am not a kid, I am a grandmother, for pete's sake. I have a 4.0 GPA. I turn to jelly, I get really deflated around these women, feel like a no-account. I have thought that if was all in my head a few times and just gone ahead and gone to one or the other with a question. Each time I am invariably left hanging, feeling frozen out, my need for information not satisfied...why do I persist in approaching these particular instructors? I now longer will.
I know this is a call for me to toughen up, get a thicker skin, get some new coping skills. But--those things don't just happen...they have to be grown. In the meantime, I went and paid a visit to a school counseler who I like, and it really helped to see the friendly face of a friend in the cafeteria. But up until I did these things, I was off my square to the point where I couldn't fake it...I was a ball of insecurity. This is what nursing school is reducing me to.
