I am scared and worried! I literally arranged my entire past two years to ensure success once I started my dream of Nursing and was accepted for a fall start. EVERYTHING in my life I changed for this and now it is slipping out of my hands like sand!
You see, August 30th I had to have surgery- a 2 fer- lumpectomy and cholecystectomy as an outpt. I figured a week was plenty of time to heal and be in class (Start Sept 5th)- spoke to instructors just in case and made a major effort and was there first day and trudged through. To make a long story short, I have missed five days of the first nine so far and am drowning trying to catch up. See, I was admitted to the hospital with a suspect Pulmonary Embolus (chest pain, bloody sputum) only to be put on Negative pressue/droplet precautions for possible TB for five days!! Turns out I have a 2.4cm cavitating lesion of some sort in my lung and where I was a student they assumed I had started clinicals and may have been exposed- and once they start those, they can't un-institute them until 2-3 AFB's come back negative, lab closed Sat & sunday prolonged stay. That whole event is another story in itself I tell you!! But.......
I will be missing two more days in the next two weeks for followups and more testing, as they have ruled out TB, but not a cavitating tumor and honestly I am very scared!! PRAYING it is something aspirated during surgery!
It is hard, because we go five days a week and the specialsts are 2 hours away and it has been impossible to do a better job scheduling the appts so far... I thought this would all be over with by now and I know there is more to come and praying it is not a tumor!!
I get the feeling from one of my instructors that she is not impressed with me and the only thing she did was give me an chance to drop with refund if I didn't come back, didn't even say get well or anything! I did come back- two days before the docs wanted me to just so I would not miss any more time, and I swear I could feel her body language and demeanor ice over and stiffen when she came around the corner and saw me- I think she was mad I did not drop!! You know- that unspoken body language they teach us?? Well that bothers me because I am a 3.92 GPA and work my tail off and want this more than anything and NOTHING I could have done could have changed what has been happening healthwise for me and I hate that!
Anyhow, I missed two tests- first unit and dosage calc which I said I would make up on Monday and now I am regretting ever saying that as I am still not performing 100% and it is hard just to keep up with current, never mind going back to the other chapters!!
Do you think there is still hope that I can make this all up and be succesful in the Nursing Program?
