Mentorship in the Nursing Community

I absolutely agree that my original post/question included strong statements about behaviors and attitudes that I have seen here and that have been shared with me through the experiences of my friends and family. What I did not do or say anywhere in this thread was that I personally believe that is the way it is everywhere or that is my personal opinion of nurses anywhere; that would be an ignorant statement to make. But I think it is delusional for anyone to act like this topic has not come up numerous times on this forum, and I would even venture to say in your experiences or discussions in the workplace. However, I am certainly not going to let cyber cliques or bullies attack me or the integrity of my family and friends.

Your response was the first that actually cast a different light on this issue than the responses I have seen not just in this thread but others where folks had questioned or relayed the same experiences. I appreciate your thought-provoking response and perspective. I think it's a shame that people have to PM me because they are too afraid to "speak up" for fear of being attacked by people on this forum. That is sad and I think not keeping in the spirit with the knowledge and education that is provided on this site.

One is I think many come here to vent. A person who is dissatisfied or upset is much more to share their story of hurt and indignation to get sympathy from the masses to feel better where as someone who is happy and pleased doesn't have that same need....so it makes it seem more prevalent. I also think the economic times make people in general more anxious and aggressive. Nurses in the work place are under tremendous stress and are constantly being told to do more with less, having their benefits cut, being placed in compromising staffing positions with mandatory overtime and sicker patients....all the while not getting raises, having benefits decreased and costing more and being told their jobs are at stake for nurses are a dime a dozen.

People who do not have a voice and have no respect are frightened and scared.....their patience runs short for they don't have the time nor the luxury to take on more responsibility nor be anyone's constant cheer leader of positive reinforcement. Just because one's personal opinion varies and is different from another doesn't mean that they are being bullied, attacked, or made fun of.

I also think that we have a generation of "Every body wins" and any thing they do is wonderful mentality (I see this in my children's education) and that is simply not true. Constructive criticism is not eating the young...that correcting their errors and teaching them what they need and did not receive in school is not being mean and insensitive.

However....their are toxic work environment that make it difficult to work. These environments are supported by the management but are not the representation of the nursing culture. I do know that there are administrations that encourage this type of behavior and unfortunately are able to get away with it because the market is saturated with nurses and they have all the chips in their corner. It is unfortunate that your friends and family have such negative experiences in their work place.....but this is not prevalent everywhere....it is very cultural and demographic in nature.

I know that there are those who prefer to voice their personal opinions privately which is the advantage of the PM system. All families have their quirks and idiosyncrasies and AN is no different. You have family members that love conflict. You have family members that are sensitive and cry. You have family that love to pick and argument. You have family members who keep the peace. You have people who are very public and those who are more private......it's what makes families so wonderful....like the family that is allnurses.

When you post in a public forum you will get public opinion ....it may not be what you want but ther in lies the risk.

Let me share with you my favourite poem.....by Melodie Chenvert

Being A Nurse Means…

You will never be bored.

You will always be frustrated.

You will be surrounded by challenges,

So much to do and so little time.

You will carry immense responsibility And limited authority.

You will step into people’s lives

And you will make a difference

Some will bless you,

Some will curse you.

You will see people at their worst

And at their best.

You will never cease to be amazed

At people’s capacity for Love, courage, and endurance.

You will experience resounding triumphs

And devastating failures.

You will cry a lot,

You will laugh a lot,

You will know what it is to be human,

And to be humane.

I wish you the very best on your nursing journey.

I want to make a level-headed response to the OP's concerns. In full disclosure/background I am a male and I came from a career in business, so you can take my words with appropriate context an all I say is simply my opinion. In both nursing and business I owe much of my success to my mentors; I try my best to pay that forward every day.

#) Eating Young - Nursing is a unique profession, like medicine (or even parenting), in that you are responsible for caring for another human at a time they are vulnerable; your actions can have profound consequences. Nurses don't eat their young because they are bored or they taste good; nurses are tough on the "young" because they have to be direct and address concerns. If mistakes aren't pointed out to you the you can't learn and this is not a profession where the "old" can let the "young" make mistakes because the consequences are too high. If you can't hack it you are gone quickly; this is no different from the business world. It is no different from medicine where students, interns, and residents are regularly "dressed down" in public. I have seen some attendings be disrespectful to nurses but it pales in comparison to how they treat their interns and residents.

#) "Cattiness" - I really hate this term. People deal with problems in different ways, and many would argue that women and men often handle them differently. To me, cattiness is a passive aggressive way to handle conflict. By that definition, I think nurses are far more direct in handling conflict. The "cattiness" that I see in nursing is from the "young" that lack the confidence an experience to handle conflicts directly and are sour about being corrected. It exists in nursing. I feel that I dealt with it far more in business than nursing.

#) Mentorship - I had both clinical and peer mentors from my first day of school to my current practice. They are readily available in both the academic and clinic setting and they are invaluable. If you ant find a mentor then the problem is most likely on your end.

#) Advancement - In nursing I never had anyone try and hold me back or sabotage me; I always had a target on my back in business. Did people try and dissuade me from perusing my APRN? Yes. Not many people want their coworker to become their boss, especially when they have less experience; this is a great opportunity to have them teach you.

Nursing is a rewarding profession. Do you have to be smart? Yes. Do you have to work hard? Yes. Do you have to be humble? Yes. Do you have to have tough skin? Yes. Is there conflict? Yes. The end product is a challenging and rewarding career.

Best of luck.