I see problems in my future

  1. Hi all!
    After taking intermediate and college Algebra, English Comp 1 & 2, Psycology, Sociology, Anthropology, Business Statistics, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, A & P I and II, Microbiology, Art Appreciation, Lifetime Wellness, Total Fitness, Speech, Microcomputer Applications PLUS all of my LPN courses....I am FINALLY ready to start the BSN portion of school in January!! I am getting very excited!

    My school is an hour away at least, maybe 1.5 hours away on a bad day. But, I have met a gal in my Microbiology class that is going too. And we will be car pooling together. At least that is the plan. First of all here is a little history.

    We ended up lab partners for Microbiology. She was mentioning nursing school, so I told her of my plans and within a day she had called the nursing advisor of the school and gave my name, saying that I had referred her. Anyway, at the time, that was fine, I mean, it would be great to start out with a car pool buddy. Anyway, so then a few days later she asks where I work and I told her. Within a few weeks she got a job where I work, also mentioning my name to the DON. She is a CNA there on a different shift and I work as a charge nurse, but I am soon moving to her shift....which was in the plans all along for when I start the BSN program.

    Ok, so in the meantime, I am getting everything done to get ready for nursing school admission etc. She got all her paperwork turned in late but was finally accepted. So, I went and got my physical, shots and CPR certification taken care of and of course I had to tell her all about where to go and how to do it, because she didn't know what to do etc. But I think she is getting those things taken care of now too (right at the deadline!).
    I really feel like I am taking care of this girl because she is always late getting things done and doesn't have any information of her own. I don't really mind that but here is what I do mind. She is kinda moody to me most of the timeand many other people in our Microbiology class. Everyone always thinks she is in a bad mood, me included. I find it very uncomfortable talking to her about anything. I feel this is a competitive thing with her. She also is the type to talk while the instructor is lecturing which I can't stand, so I ignore it until we are on a break. I mean she will just blurt out something out of the blue, usually a question that is not on topic at all about the lecture. (something with the bsn program or work).

    Ok, also I should mention, she is the type of person that always has an excuse for everything. Blames everything on someone else (test scores, not getting paperwork done on time, etc) A quality which drives me nuts.

    I want to talk to this girl and just say..."Hey, ya know, this is going to be a rough couple of years for us. The best thing for us is to work together, drop the competition and try to help each other out, maybe get to know each other a bit so it will be more enjoyable riding together" I have plans to hold a little tea at my house and invite her family and her over for a get to know you thing. But it is not set in stone yet.
    Now, it will help me quite a bit to have a car pool buddy, but it is not mandatory. If this is a lost cause and we inevitably end up mad at each other while in the program, I'd rather just skip the car pool bit and drive myself, and avoid her a bit. I mean, our personalities are pretty different.

    Well, gotta get to work now. what do you guys think? What would you do? Anyway, I am up for any advice. Thanks!!
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  2. 26 Comments

  3. by   renerian
    Just my thoughts. Drive yourself. Redirect her when she needs help to the instructor or program director. You will be nuts by the time you are through.

    JMHO,

    renerian
  4. by   renerian
    I personally would not have the tea. Cop out as being to busy with the holiday. I am a very social person but you won't have time to hand hold.

    renerian
  5. by   renerian
    Check your PMs

    renerian
  6. by   TeresaRN2b
    I agree with the posts above. I think you need to distance yourself some from her. It's obvious from your post that you aren't sure how you feel about her and as it is it sounds like you are going to have to spend a good a bit of time with her. I wouldn't completely blow her off because it is always easier to have a friend than an enemy, but at the same time I would back out on the carpooling and other social engagements.

    Teresa
  7. by   sunnygirl272
    agree with above....
  8. by   Sleepyeyes
    Originally posted by sunnygirl272
    agree with above....
    yep.
  9. by   tonicareer
    I have a bad feeling about it. Sounds like she is using you. Are you taking turns driving or what? I know people like this then they get even more competitive and sometimes back stabbing. Too much togetherness is not a good thing.
  10. by   Gromit
    totally agree with the above. Just like you said, you (y'all?) are in for a rough couple of years.
    Do you >REALLY< need 'this' piled on top of the rest of it? I understand your drive, and certainly know how lonely the trips can be (took a 1yr class that was just over an hour drive, and I don't drive slowly!).
    Use the time to listen to lectures you taped in class.
    the miles will fly by, either way
  11. by   Rena RN 2003
    steer clear
  12. by   Jenn_RN
    I'd definitely pull away. It's going to be taxing enough being in the program, you don't need to carry someone else on your shoulders, especially as she's likely to be stabbing you in the back as you do so.

    If she is competitive, she does not have your best interests at heart. With you being helpful to her, you are putting yourself at risk of being hurt by her, and you don't deserve that.

    One more thing, something a friend told me once that really stuck with me. "Stand near S*&t long enough, you start to smell like it." Basically, whatver she acts like, however she is perceived, the longer you hand around her the more people will think you are like her.

    Step away...step far away.
  13. by   Love-A-Nurse
    what ever you are feeling, thinking, seeing, and/or hearing now, it is probably best to either (1) speak with her (although you both will encounter each other at school/work and i would think twice before having a tea before having a talk with her) or (2) drive alone.

    you (no one) needs the added stress in school and to give her the benefit of the doubt, she may not be aware of her actions being a problem.

    let us know what you decide.
  14. by   Stargazer
    Am I the only one who immediately thought of the movie Single White Female?

    I would be at least annoyed, if not seriously creeped out by now. Agree with everyone else. Distance yourself politely, but distance yourself now.

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