I quit! :(

[Stoogesfan]

Am about ready to just quit and walk away. It's not even the school workload, I can handle that. I'm doing well and have gotten all A's my first year and so far this semester as well.

It's everything else....it's work, the kids, the house, the bills, the grocery shopping and cooking. I just can't do it all!!

I worked a 12 last night, got home about 8 this morning, woke up around 12:30 to get my 3 year old. I made him some lunch, had a quick snack with him, washed the dishes and sat down to get a quick study in before my husband got home with our older girls. My mom comes over and makes a comment about my house being messy. Now I'm not claiming it was spotless, but I had the kitchen clean and there was no trash or anything disgusting sitting out.

After she left I broke down crying and I can't stop. I ended up putting my books away and cleaning the house like a mad woman trying to get It all done before I have to leave for class. I think this was more of a vent than anything, but right now I just feel like giving up

[flipflopgenna]

dont moms have a way of sayin the wrong things at the right moment. my mom is the same way, she thinks im neglecting my kids house and husband, she will tell me that there are thing more important then nursing school. i have learned to stay away when im at my worst and never speak with her about my school and things work out fine. i love the post about doing school in chunks, its only 16 weeks in a sememter and i have already done 5, just 11 to go, it will be worth in the end, we will have a job to better take care of our kids and house that we love more than anything.

[FMF Corpsman, MSN, RN]

I know I'm a little late on this string, but I wanted to add my 2 cents anyway. I know you weren't really going to quit, I went through those same aggravating periods of frustration where you just want to pull your hair out. All the way through my educational career, I also maintained a full time work schedule. It wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination. I just kept my priorities in focus as best I could, and tried to maintain a steady grip on reality. That was the hardest part. At one point I was placed on academic probation for being repeatedly being late to class, they didn't want to hear that I was in the ER working a multiple trauma until 0730 when I was due in class at 0800. They felt my obligation was to be in class, and in fact it was, if my GPA wasn't as high as it was, I'm afraid they might have been a little harsher than they were. My point is, you can keep your priorities straight and keep it together. Don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks, what the heck do you care, you have more important things to worry about right now. Did they come over to see you, or your house? If they don't like the way your house looks, they can either clean it up them selves or they don't need to come over. Besides, you have more important things to do right now. Your priorities are set and you know what they are. End of story.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

My rule was always, "No visible vermin in the house." Well, I couldn't stop the cats from bringing them in, but at least they didn't live long enough to reproduce.

It's not really the cleaning that gets you down, it's the clutter. Take a paper bag around a room and pick up all the loose crap, and it automatically feels so much better, and it didn't take you two minutes.

I figured kids in third-world slums live in far worse dirt than I (or my kids) could create, and mine got vaccinated and better-fed. Your kids don't notice the messes, but they sure as heck notice YOU more than you think. Don't let yourself be treated to hearing your toddler mimicking your whining about cleaning up to the cat or the dog-- you will cringe mightily. (I stopped swearing, mostly, after hearing my two-year-old say, "Oh, s***, mama." ::sigh::)

And kids can actually be very helpful. Even little ones can get tremendous satisfaction out of helping-- even if it's inexpert, it's great training for when they have better eye-hand coordination. Make a game out of throwing the toys into the toy box with plenty of Hooray! when there's a score. They are a lot closer to the floor so it's easier for them to find and pick up stuff. A three-year-old can set the table. An eight-year-old can do his own laundry and a six-year-old can make his own sandwich for school. If they lick their plates clean, less rinsing at the sink. :)

Your kids will benefit far more by seeing you work hard at your homework and accomplish a big goal for the family's future (and by hearing your husband or some other very important adult say that to you) than by seeing you scrub the bathtub or vacuum the rug. As for your mother, tell her you'd like a housecleaning lady once a week for Christmas or your birthday. Even every other week having somebody else clean just the kitchen and the bathroom is heavenly, and the rest of it....meh, who cares.

[Crazed]

I have a magnet on my fridge that says, "Good moms have sticky floors, filthy ovens, and happy kids."

I tell my mom things like, "Oh thank you so much for offering to help out by cleaning Ma. I really appreciate you understanding how stressful things are right now and pitching in so I can really focus on studying."

[BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN]

I think it's a damn shame that we women do this to our young (no, not nurses, I mean mothers to daughters- or daughters in-law). Nothing is EVER good enough!! Fortunately, most of my undergrad years were completed before my child was born (did my whole AS and most of BS before). But, in general, there is a tremendous amount of pressure put on mothers by their own mothers. We're damned if we work, we're damned if we stay home. Our houses need to be spotless, our kids need to be perfect, our men need to be satisfied. Dinner on the table every night at 6. What is this, 1955?

What many of our mothers fail to realize is that we are trying to make lives better for our children. Going to college shows them that dreams are attainable, and that you can have a good balance in your life. Yes, there are a lot of sacrifices made during nursing school, but it is well worth it in the end.

It took my mother years to accept my lifestyle, that I was not the 1955 mom I described above. I worked nights for many years, went to grad school, worked extra jobs. Cooking and cleaning were not a priority: STAYING AWAKE for my daughter during the day was!!

[bosslady781]

I can relate to you..... I work graveyard shift 2-3 times a week, go to school/clinicals 4 times a week, have 4 kids ages 12 to 3 years and hubby. Don't stress too much about a clean house. My living room is covered in toys and the dishes are piled up in the sink as I type this but I need to study for a big test I have on Monday, so most likely I will wake up early to clean and load up dishwasher. Perhaps you can have the fam pitch in when it comes to cleaning. I know it sucks right now but it will be so worth it at the end. There is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise! You can do it, Mama!!!

[bear14]

I'm very OCD and I am convinced my husband and children are trying to cure that by their incesant clutter. I have learned to give up having a clean house. Its hard to study, clean, be a mom and a wife all at the same time. Dont give up though. It will be worth it in the end.