friend got bad grade

caliotter3 · Jul 21, 2017

Your friend needs to grow up and not take out his ill will on your success. When he learns to take responsibility for his successes and failures, he will stop sulking. Until then, be available to offer support and help, but don't push the matter.

Scottishtape · Jul 21, 2017

Don't share your grades with your classmates. It can be hurtful, as you've seen. I made that mistake a few times and had the same result you did. I learned pretty quick that when someone asked how I did, I just said, "I'm happy with how I did on it". I only shared my actual grades with my small circle of gal pals in my program.

Getting a good grade on a hard test is awesome, maybe share that with your outside friends and family.

In the meantime, just be supportive to your friend. Let him know you'll be there if he needs to talk/vent.

SunshineNRainbows, BSN, RN · Jul 21, 2017

We were told late in my pre-req program (while taking Patho and Pharm concurrently) that we shouldn't share grades because the grade does not make a good nurse, there are a lot of other important facets to nursing.

Now that I am in a program, and have to retake Patho and Pharm (they didn't transfer), some of my classmates felt lost due to my "abundance" of knowledge, but I was just trying to be helpful. So, I stated the above fact, and many classmates agreed not to talk about grades. Even in my diverse study group, we only say "I did well" "I'm happy with how I did" or "I expected to have done better", and it works really well. The school made a point about not being competitive, and to support each other, but sometimes when you assign a value to the grade it does make things competitive. Nursing school is stressful, and it's a learning curve to learn how to manage the material, and since everyone made great grades before, some get down seeing the not so great grades. In the future, I would keep the score quiet, and if someone was struggling, I would simply ask... "What do you seem to be having trouble with? I may be able to offer a different perspective" or something to that nature.

Purple_Clover · Jul 24, 2017

Hi, I we took a pharmacology test a few day ago, and I did well, as in well over 10 points the average. My friend did not do well, he scored under 70. I was so excited about my grade that I told him. As you know, in pharm most people want that good grade. Now he hasn't spoken to me or very limited. Doing poorly in a class is stressful, especially if you cannot move forward if you don't pass. I want to ask if everything is ok, or to offer support, but I feel I should not bother, due to the sensitivity of the subject. It is a high stress, do or die type classroom & program and we repeated told so. Any advice?
Thank you

I understand wanting to be there for your friend, but obviously they don't want to be talked to. They need to deal with their own s***. You have enough of yours to deal with.

As PPs have said, don't share your grades. I learned that the first quiz of the first semester of my program. Either you do well and people hate you or you do horribly and people think you're stupid.

BAY AREA RN, BSN · Jul 25, 2017

if this wasn't the last exam, see if your friends wants to study with you so they can bring up their grade. if its ur friend be real them say i need you to make it through this class with me so whats up, what are you having problems with. they will appreciate it