Entrance Letter please read and tell me what you think..

sdg · Aug 31, 2004

I see some punctuation errors, so make sure you get those checked before you send in the final.

mitchsmom · Aug 31, 2004

for which I plan to have most if not all of my prerequisites finished by that time

I would take that line out, since it's probably a given anyway that you'll have your prereqs done.

I hope to become the best Registered Nurse that I can be to give back to the area as well

I would maybe take that one out too or change it, only because it sort of sounds the same as the line before it to me. You say "I plan on continuing to work there to help the community where I have been raised..." How, specifically will you be helping your community? I mean, is it an underserved area, is it geriatrics, etc.? I would include that specifically if you have an area of interest. It makes the letter more interesting and is further proof that you've put a lot of thought into nursing. You could drum up something like "Since Anytown, USA is an underserved area in higher-than-average need of quality geriatric care, I think my field of interest will be well utilized there after I complete my degree" ..... LOL... I'm trying to come up with an example off the top of my head, forgive me if it's not so great but you get my drift!

The only other advice I have in general - or just more ideas if you are still mulling over the letter - (since it worked for me) to do is to look at their mission statement, program goals, guidebook etc. and see if they say things like "our goal is to have students who ________"... if it says anything about the kinds of students or graduates they want, or goals they have, then put those things in your letter. For example, if they say that nursing school demands adaptable, energetic, computer literate students, then pick the ones you are good at and include something like "My strengths include adaptability and superior computer skills that I believe will contribute to my success in a nursing program."

Also, if it is a BSN program I would definitely include any goals you may have for graduate school or future teaching since they need instructors so bad, that would probably put a glint in their eye. I would probably put it if there's any possibility of it! I have found that many of my instructors are big on Grad school so you may want to think about that.

You could also ask current students (ask how you'd get in touch with someone from the nursing club if you need a contact) what kinds of things the program seems big on, what they would love to see in letters.

I would also include any volunteer work or specialty training you've done in your field of interest.

Sorry, way more than you were probably looking for! I hope I'm not making you feel like your letter way bad by writing all this, it's not, I just didn't know if you were looking for more ideas. I think your letter sounds good! I like that you stuck to the questions they were asking, you did include a positive trait that will help you in school, you wrote about your medical experience, etc. Good luck!!! :)

trish820 · Aug 31, 2004

Thank you both very much and yes I was looking for more ideas since I only have 193 words and they are saying 500 or less I would like to come up with more. Thanks again!!!!

Trish

RedSox33RN · Aug 31, 2004

Is this a letter you need to include with your application to nursing school?

If so, you really, really need to sell yourself. What makes YOU a better candidate than someone else? Be honest and tell them. You do stress the importance of academics. But tell them HOW you want to give back to the community. Do you want to volunteer at health clinics, blood drives, teaching new parents about immunizations, etc? Do you eventually want to get a higher degree? If so, to do what?

Tell them why the school is a good match for you. What you like about their program above all other programs - maybe the values, the NCLEX pass rate, past student recommendations, campus atmosphere and opportunities, etc.

I think the letter you have is a good start, but use all of the 500 words you're given. Don't sell yourself short by not including everything you can.

TLC RN · Aug 31, 2004

When I was writing my essay a month ago my sister in law's mother (retired high school English teacher) said to said, "I have revised your essay with the same advice that I always gave my students: Be concise. If you can say something in 3 words, don't use 5." I also was talking to a friend and she mentioned that I may want to say how I would help the school and not get lost in how the school would help me.

Essays are hard to write but keep plugging away at it. I would also use as much as the 500 words as possible.

Also find out if they accept recommendations. My app did not say they were needed but I asked and they said sure. I had two people write letters on my behalf.

Good luck!

trish820 · Sep 1, 2004

Yes, the essay goes in with my application for nursing that is why I want it to be wonderful. I will work on it and see what else I can come up with. Thanks so very much!!!!!!!!!!

Trish